When a man has a mistress, she is usually the one who gets slammed, criticized, stigmatized, and all that. But do you think that the wife might be at fault, at least to an extent? Perhaps she might be the reason the guy is unhappy and sought happiness somewhere else? Also, what if the mistress didn't even know that the guy was married? Is she still considered the "bad guy?" (Or "bad girl," rather).
In your reply, please tell me in what kind of scenarios you think the mistress/husband/wife is to blame, if that makes sense.
Or you could just tell me what you think of those kinds of relationships in general. If you yourself have ever dated a married man, then I gladly welcome your opinions!
Most Helpful Guy
Is anyone surprised that Azara wants to blame the man and only the man? Anyone?
Anyone? Some people are so predictable...
This question is very complicated. The traditional answer has always been that the man is 100% at fault (sound familiar?). That, of course, is a simple-minded answer that ignores so many realities of human nature and relationships.
The man does of course shoulder at least some of the blame because he cheated when he was in a committed relationship. And some men (and women) are just cheaters who have no excuse. BUT...
The mistress sometimes shares the blame, depending at least in part on whether she knew he was married.
The wife likely share at least some, and perhaps a significant amount of the blame, depending on how well she met her husband's needs, and let's fact it... they are different than hers. Ignoring that factor is incredibly naive and until we as a society decide to face that reality we will never begin to understand why people cheat.
How about we move beyond the gender bias and actually try to understand the issue rather than just pointing fingers and resigning ourselves to the knee-jerk gender biased responses (e. g., Azara)?2
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