This online dating thing screwed me up?

Ok, so I met a very handsome atractive guy on a dating website. He was always very polite, very friendly, didn't gave the creep vibe online at all. So I went to meet him for dinner one night at a very public place.

I got there, he was all normal, very polite small talk during dinner, always asking normal things like favourite movies, music... he was actually telling me ideas for our next date already. When we finished dinner he grabbed me for a kiss, still inside the restaurant. The fun part starts now, I had never actually been kissed, so my instinct was to stay there and do nothing. I told him I didn't feel comfortable doing this in front of the other people in the restaurant. We got outside and he asked if he could kiss me, I said yes, because of course I was all curious to explore now. We took a walk and kissed some more. Then he started to get really excited (and me scared, no need to say I am a virgin) but I stopped him saying I was tired and needed to go home to do some work (it was sunday). He kissed me goodbye, and when I got home I actually felt gross from all this kissing. I do admit I even cried a bit because I did not feel anything at all from those kisses.
How ironic all of this is now.

So yesterday I went and looked him up on facebook, when surprise surprise, he has a girlfriend (living in another country - I'm in the UK, he and the girl are from Greece), who not only looks like me but likes the same stuff, movies, music, etc...

Now I'm a bit creeped out and don't want to see this idiot again, but he is going to message me back soon and I wanted to have some clever comeback instead of just ignoring him. I also feel terribly bad for the poor girl but I don't know what to do.
Any thoughts or opinions are welcome!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've heard of many guys sneaking online for this stuff. It really sucks when it happens and this I'm sure totally ruined your first kiss experience. There are stories of guys going on dates where they'd catch the woman pulling off her wedding ring in the car or being married, etc. One girl even contacted me wanting to hook up because her boyfriend's away. It's not a settling feeling at all.

    Unfortunately there is not much you can really do. I've caught gold diggers, players, "catfish," and other such people by simple things like typing their phone number into facebook. It's really scary these days where people sneak online.

    Here's the thing, you do not have to message him back. I honestly suggest you block all communications with him. I'm certainly hoping you never gave him your address. Just block communications. Block his phone number, dating profile, etc. It's seriously for the best. You'll probably want to not date for a while but hopefully you can jump back in.

    • Yep, he doesn't know my address and luckily he can't send me messages because my phone number doesn't work. My fear is that if I tell his girlfriend he will try to stalk me, so I didn't, but I honestly feel so bad for her.

    • Show All
    • That's what I will do, thanks!

    • Cool. Good luck with everything and hope the recovery goes smoothly. Online dating's really toxic in a lot of ways but does work for some people. If you need any hints on things like catching liars or just basic ideas and such let me know.


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What Guys Said 5

  • Always check them out before the date. Google and FB etc. Never, under any circumstances take a date to your house or let them know where you live until you have dated them numerous times. Always go to his place a few times before you go to yours. Get his license number of his car and a photo of him as soon as you meet him. Also find out where he works.

    Carry a personal alarm, pepper spray, a Surefire LX2 tactical light and a Class IV laser for defense. Keep the flashlight in your power hand the pepper spray in the other hand. If he attacks you light him up with the 200 lumen light. It will blind an attacker for a few seconds.

    If he gets abusive with you, scream STOP, the date is over and back up. Pull the alarm cord or set off the alarm. If he continues to advance warn him again, screaming stop your scaring me. Then unload some pepper in his face. The minimum spray you should carry is a 2 oz cone spray. Anything less is a toy. You should also buy backup sprays to test so you are familiar with their use.

    After you spray him, use the crenelated bezel of the light to slam as hard as you can into his temple. Use the edge of the bezel, that is what it is made for. It will cut skin and crack bone if you use enough power. If you don't have a light kick him in the balls after you spray him. After the temple hit, give him another spray of pepper and start running and screaming for help. Always keep an eye on him.

    If by some crazy chance he is not out of commission and is following you. Pull out the class IV laser and light up his corneas. The best he can hope for is to be blind for 15 or 20 min. If he is unlucky, he will have permanent eye damage. Lasers can do the job from 25 to 50 yards. So no excuse to let him get close to you again.
    A good test for a guy is to get him hot as hell, then tell him that is as far as we are going. See if he follow instructions and takes disappointment, always have your spray ready ladies.

  • Tell him he's an asshole, has a small package (who cares if you don't really know lol), and then tell his g/f.
    that way you got out:
    1 your feelings
    2 make him insecure
    3 hope his gf will dump him

  • Ignore him and tell his girlfriend if you can.

  • Yeah he sounds creepy, when he messages you just tell him you just found out that your pregnant:)

    • Ahaha that would be cool! But yeah i'll just just block him and hopefully never cross paths with him again

    • Thats a risky move best to rip it off like a bandaid leave nothing to chance:)

  • Tell his girlfriend. What an asshole.


What Girls Said 3

  • Oh dear, so sorry, hate stories lie this.. hate men lie this :(

  • find the girl on fb and tell her what happened, tell her that u didn't know that he had a girlfriend. Im sure the guy would get what he deserves. if you really dont want to deal with him just block him or something. thats why i dont date online there a bunch of perverts just looking to get into a girls pants

  • Please be careful when meeting men with meet on online dates. Many of them are crazy, sex offenders, and not suitable for any women especially virgins. Stay safe.

    • You bet I do now, the asshole even told me while laughing: You see I'm not a serial killer after all.
      the nerve... definitely not interested in dating at all in the foreseable future

    • You can date but not someone like him. Meet nice guys that are not so sexual.