Advice needed for confidence and approaching guys?

I've been single for a while now and I'm ready to get back out there. The thing is that I'm kind of a shy person. If I'm with my friends I'm always cracking jokes, I may not be the loudest one of the one talking in the room but I'm there and interacting with my friends. But if I'm around people I don't know I become more quiet and shy. All the guys I've previously dated were friends or mutual friends, so I was comfortable and I always got a head up on if they like me or not. But when I see a good looking guy, like at work or if I'm out, I start to doubt myself and talk myself out of the possibility that he'll be interested. I think it has to do with my shyness and also because I'm a African-American woman and I feel like guys wouldn't be into me because of that (even though I do break the stereotype of black women) How can I become more confident in myself and be able to put myself out there more? How can you tell if a guy would be interested or is willing to be approached?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't need confidence in approaching random guys becuase you don't need it. What I do is i talk to girls that I've gotten to know because I've seen them Enough at school, so for you at your workplace or uni or whatever. I am shy also at going up to random girls I've never seen before. And I don't really need to becuase there are enough girls otherwise at places that I know. Well if that doesn't apply to you, to build up confidence, you just have to go and talk to random guys. It's te only way to build up confidence, and also another way is not to think about how you look and how guys might judge you because that makes them instantly worry and less confident. The best way to find out if a guy looks approachable is if you like the look of him. It's not up to him to decide if you like him or not. You must not doubt yourself because when you do go in, then what you thought would happen when doubting yourself, will most likely happen. Hope this helps (sorry that it's so long)

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What Guys Said 1

  • The hardest part is to start. Once you start approaching guys it will become easier. Amazon has lots of books on flirting and dating. check them out and start practicing. If all else fails, give them a note.

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