Is he serious about me?

I have been dating this guy for 2-3 months. We split in October as I heard rumours that he was seeing other girls which he vehemently denied & we had a row recently about a Instagram post I had put up. He took offence to it and deleted some of my comments & heart emojis off his most recent posts and then posted stuff about how girls should behave (basically being a lady & liking a man because of his education and work ethic). He thinks I like him for his money but I pay my own bills.

I am divorced and I have 3 kids under the age of 5. He is 4 years younger than me and has no ties. He has liked me for a long time but he doesn't admit to anything publicly (i. e. on Instagram or Twitter which I find annoying). I do all the work in letting people know about us. I tag him on photos and he doesn't seem to mind. I recently took a selfie which showed part of his home and somebody identified it on Instagram and he made me delete it. He says it's nobody's business but I would like him to publicly acknowledge that we are dating in some way.

He does have a rep as a bit of a player and it's always in the back of my mind. We do live about 2.5 hours away from each other. We do have a great connection but do you think I am wasting my time? I did mention marriage and children with him but he played that down. Sometimes I feel like he is drifting away from me and I have to pull him back. I really, really like him but do you think his behaviour shows he is serious?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Two or three months of dating, and you insist on public acknowledgment? That's insane. Just by itself, that's enough of a red flag to warrant leaving you. When you're officially engaged, that's when a public announcement is called for. There are good reasons why people should get to know one another privately, with no public strings attached, unless, of course, you believe in arranged marriages. In most developed countries, people pick their own partners, and making good choices depends on getting to know someone. It's a lot harder to do that when you're using your relationship as some kind of social status symbol.


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What Guys Said 2

  • tell him to look in the eye and tell ya the truth

    • Thanks. He is very charming and I always accept whatever he tells me. He says he wants it to work but I can't help thinking why a younger man with no marriage or children would want to be seriously involved with me. The whole situ makes me anxious tbh.

  • Anyone you've dated for under a year is not serious about you. Time, not intention or words, is the key.


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