Ladies, do all of you still expect men to pay for you on the first date and them always having to pay for everything?

It's kind of annoying how women nowadays claim to be for equality yet they still expect us to pay every single thing for them. Even older women dating younger men expect men to pay for them.

If this is supposed to be a "new era" of the whole gender thing, then why is there still so many expectations forced down on men's throats?

Please ladies, give me a sincere answer and not give me an answer that you don't truly believe or agree with just because I'd like to hear it.


0|0
22|8

Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh my god, so many people have asked this before.

    First, I want to say that you are lumping ALL women together. The feminists who believe in gender equality are not the same women who expect guys to pay all the time. If one girl says she wants equality, and another girl says she wants the guy to pay, that is not a contradiction, it is simply two girls with different opinions.

    Secondly, yes there are some women who believe in traditional gender roles and think the guy needs to pay. But there are also women who believe that whoever does the asking pays. And there are plenty of women who believe that a couple should take turns paying. And plenty of women who split the bill.
    I always split the bill, unless the guy absolutely insists on paying (and yeah, there are a lot of guys out there who feel emasculated if the woman pays. So they are perpetuating this expectation that the guy needs to pay). But I always bring money and I never expect him to pay. If he truly wants to then I'll let him, but most guys that I've gone out with are happy to split the bill, so that's what we do.

    1|0
    0|1

What Girls Said 21

  • If the guy asks the woman out then he should pay and vice versa if a woman asks a man out. Further into a relationship then it can probably be split or just whoever wants to pay. For instance, I've paid for a movie before while my boyfriend paid for dinner. I think that's perfectly acceptable.

    5|1
    0|0
    • Yeah hey I wonder if there was another post here saying "Which gender should ask which gender out" what your answer to that would be.. What a bullshit answer.

      If you agree to a date you should be willing to pay your own way

    • The question asked for opinions, sorry you can't handle mine. Bye now.

  • I think whoever asked out, should be the one to pay. If I ask you out, I am assuming that I will be paying for the date. If you ask me, you will be the one paying. I always offer to split the bill or even pay sometimes.
    I have paid for dates with my ex boyfriends, much to their dismay though cuz they feel that they're men and "men always pay."
    I usually find that the woman who want men to pay are the more "traditional" types of girls and are not feminists or don't really agree with much of feminism. I don't know why men assume every woman or every unpleasant woman is a feminist. Nope. Some are just jerks and it has nothing to do with their social or political spectrum.

    3|0
    0|0
    • The part where you mentioned your ex-boyfriends reminds me of why a lot of men feel awkward of a woman paying for them. It's very likely got more to do with the fact that a lot of men's ego's get hurt when they're in a relationship with a woman who makes more income than them, that it makes them feel "less of a man" for a woman to make more money and pay for them. They feel that it's a competition thing (with the opposite gender) that they have to make more money than a woman to be ahead in life.

    • Ok, that is actually true. I've made more money than my ex boyfriends and they told me they feel lke they're not "manly" enough for me. I always tell them "do you have a dick? You're manly enough"
      I don't know why men feel threatened if the female is making more. They also would literally walk to the car without me cuz they felt bad that I was the one paying and they didn't wanna be seen. -_-

      But the women who require or prefer the men to pay I find are usually not feminist women, most are those "traditional" type of women. Yet some guys like to lump them in with feminism just cuz they're women. Nope. Not all women are feminists you know? lol

    • I guess I wouldn't mind having a relationship with a woman who makes a little more than me as long as she's not the condescending-type who tries to compete with me on being the boss of the household to prove something and show how "strong" she is compared to me.

  • I think it is old culture as a small thing to show about how that guy is. If you can't pay a meal for girl how can you take care of her. Since meal is a basic of life and it is such a small thing. If you don't willing to pay for meal. It kind of how this guy. And it is a small thing that guys can show off for dating. If you think you wanna plan to show her your house. And you wanna invite her to your house. She would say no. Or miss understood. So meal is the first step to show. I think things being change. If girl pay for your meal. She is very self confident and have strong personal. And mostly guys will question after "why she wanna change me"

    0|0
    0|0
  • No I expect it to be even. I've never dated someone who paid for me all of the time. It's a nice gesture to pay for the first date, but I always offer anyway.

    And I expect to pay for the second.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Yeah, I can understand that whoever is the person that initated the date should pay the first one (regardless of gender) but when it gets to the point where a woman blatantly cops herself out from paying, having responsiblities and expect the man to do every single thing for her, then that's when I can see that it's the type of lady that I'd should never waste a huge chunk of my life for.

    • I know women like that, but I wouldn't even say it's a majority.

  • It's just the gentleman thing to do. Maybe I'm old fashioned. But I just believe a man should pay on the first date out of courtesy. If you asked to take her out, you should pay for it. If she asks you out on the first date, YOU should still pay for it. Now should you pay for everything there after? Probably not, you'll be able to feel things out and know when it's safe to pay for something or safe to let her pay. Most girls would insist on paying if they wanted to. But just be a gentleman, pay on the first date.

    0|0
    0|0
    • While I disagree with your views, I still respect it but in my view, who ever initated the date first (regardless of gender) and has more money should be the the one to pay for it because how is a woman or a man (who never initated) supposed to know how much the foods at a specific restaurant that the initater have picked, cost on average. I think it's a little rude to initiate the date yet still expect the other person to pay for all of it but that's just me.

    • Show All
    • That's my point. But I'm talking about in the case where the LADY asks the man out. I'm simply saying if the lady both makes more money and is the one who asked the man out/initating the date, then I honestly that's when the woman should be the one paying.

    • ok, good for you, good luck on that. like I said, we'll have to agree to disagree. I don't think who should pay should even be an issue on the first date, I think the man should pay, period. to sit here and wonder if she makes more or to expect her to pay because she asked is tacky, to me. but cool

  • It's a sign of generosity.

    If the man asks the woman out on a date, he should be prepared to pay, and vice versa. If the man DOES pay, the woman should at least offer to pay the tip.

    1|0
    0|1
    • IME, stingy people tend to be less giving in ALL aspects of life, including the bedroom. No thanks.

  • nope. never have. sou;lent allow it. there's 100% no reason for this to be an expectation less im a hooker or call girl which-- not.

    0|0
    0|0
  • My sincere answer:

    YES I expect guys to pay not he first date... just because I think its sweet and romantic and a huge turn on.

    NO they should not have to pay for everything... after we are together I can pay for him sometimes, he can pay for me sometimes, or we can pay for ourselves. We share paying.

    0|0
    0|1
    • I mean, I wouldn't mind paying for the first date that's afforadable if I was the one who initated especially since the woman wouldn't even know how much the foods at a specific restaurant I picked costed on average but if it gets to the point where a woman blatantly cops herself out constantly from paying, having responsiblities and expect the man to do every single thing for her (even paying for toilet paper and have me wipe her own ass for her), then that's when I can see that it's the type of lady that I should have never waste a huge chunk of my life for in the first place.

    • lol thats extreme... I said once we are together we share the responsibilities.

      All I said is its nice when the guy pays on the first date.

  • It's not expected, just really sincerely hoped for. I've had guys that made me pick up the tab repeatedly, guys that split the bill with me, and one guy who has actually paid for the date in full. I'm all for equality, but I'm no radical feminist, I'd much rather be treated like a lady occasionally than expected to match up to a man all the time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm not for equal rights ( yes I know a ton of girls are going to down vote me I don't care). But I think the guy should pay for the first meal. Or when they are not close and he asks her out he pays. If the girl asks u out she should pay or pay for her meal aleast. But after awhile of dating I think they should take turns or split the check.

    1|0
    2|0
  • No he should pay on the first date if he asked me out. Its kinda rude to ask someone out then make them pay half.
    Like wtf?
    After that, I believe in splitting the bill.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I wouldn't mind paying for the first date that's afforadable if I was the one who initated especially since the woman wouldn't even know how much the foods at a specific restaurant I picked for us would cost on average but if it gets to the point where a woman blatantly cops herself out constantly from paying, having responsiblities and expect the man to do every single thing for her (even paying for toilet paper and have me wipe her own ass for her), then that's when I can see that it's the type of lady that I should have never waste a huge chunk of my life for in the first place.

    • I mean I want the right woman for me who can actually treat me mutually and treat me like an actual husband/boyfriend with a meaningful relationship, not her sugar daddy or her atm to leech off of and then leave me when I become broke.

  • if he initiated the date he should pay #justsaying
    same goes for the woman. i've paid for dinner when i've gone on dates with my bf

    0|0
    0|0
  • I do believe in the guy paying for the first meal on a date, but even the girl has to meet the guy half way. There can be an alternating thing, where the guy pays for the meal and the next time the girl will, but there's also just paying for your own meal. It's a nice gesture for a guy to pay for the meals, but I understand that he can get tired of that. Money doesn't grow on trees after all.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Unless the girl asks the guy out on the first date, he should pay. After that they should take turns treating each other.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Pretty much. It's whoever initated and has more income. Unfortunely, the vast majority of women hardly ever go trying to pick up men themselves or initiate first dates (Sorry if I'm generalizing all of you women, lol).

  • No. I feel like if a woman asks her boyfriend out on any occasion, she should pay unless he wants to. If the guy asks his girlfriend out on any occasion, he should pay.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think men and women should either pay for their own bill, or alternate paying for eachother. I agree with the gender equality. How can you ask for gender equality if you expect your man to pay for everything for you?

    0|0
    0|0
  • both should pay

    0|0
    0|0
  • On the first date... I always offer to split it, but if he tells me he's got it I'll let him pay for us, if I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing him again and I can return the favor. If I know I don't want to go on second date, then I insist on paying for my share. That's typically how I do things. In a relationship, it's pretty even. We treat each other. Most girls I know who are in relationships don't expect their men to pay for everything.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No I do not expect it. If anything, I'd offer to pay the whole bill because that's the type of person I am. I think it should be equal. If they guy really insisted on paying for it then that's cool too. The further the relationship moves along it should become a 50/50 kind of thing.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i think the first date yea, it is a really good impression to make. this might surprise you but most girls are girly-girls and still want a man to be THE MAN and be able to provide, its sexy and it shows he really likes her. on the 2nd date she can offer to pay or they can split it. but first date its very masculine and sexy and i expect a man to pay for me. if doesn't even offer to pay, i won't go on a 2nd date with him. its not the actual monetary action of payment itself but rather the gesture behind it.

    1|0
    0|1
  • Honestly that's just rude and stupid for a girl to think that way. You pay for your own stuff

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 8

  • I will pay every bit of my date's expenses on our date. I'm not rich by any means but I'll be damned if I'll make her pay for a damn thing. That's how I was raised so yea. I don't see what the problem is, and this isn't directed at you asker, this is just what I think :)

    3|0
    0|0
  • Hope you are prepared for a laundry list of bullshit answers as to why the guy should pay. And if you don't then you aren't a gentleman, you are cheap bla bla stick my fingers down my throat.

    "whoever asks who out should pay" - Most women

    "the guy should be the one to ask the girl out" - Most women

    It doesn't matter who the hell asked who to go out on a date. If both parties agree, then the time they are willing to spend with each other should be enough. It's not fair for one party to assume the other should pick up the tab, it's ridiculous in this day and age and all it does is put awkward and unnecessary pressure on the male.

    Women have just as many dates that don't lead to more as men do. And they fail to see this from our point of view because out of all those dates that didn't work out we are the ones who had to shell out useless money for them. But it doesn't matter to them because they were all free for them.

    I seem to have a backwards opinion compared to most on this. I don't feel the need to give any women any special treatment until I get to know her and develop some sort of relationship for her. That is the point where I will go out of my way to do special things such as offer to take her out and such.

    Women expecting the man to pay is unfair and outdated, it's not 1920 anymore we both have jobs.

    With that being said there are women out there who do understand and will insist on splitting the bill. These are the women who earn my respect. I make my views clear before I go out on a date that way it's not awkward when the bill comes. Don't let these BS social standards prevent you from doing what's best for you.

    0|0
    3|1
  • If you ask the girl on the date, you pay. Asking her out and assuming she will pay her own way is rude. You won't get many second dates that way.

    6|0
    0|0
    • But let's be fair, who's ever idea it is for the date and initated should be the one to pay for the first and that would include women who initated it, not the other freaking way around. However, the vast majority of women hardly ever go and directly ask men out themselves.

    • Hence why, I want a woman who can accept the fact that relationships are a two-way street, not a woman's entitlement for man's salary.

    • Well that's true because most women are in high demand while men usually get zero interest from them. So that means girls get asked out on first dates and don't have to do the asking.

  • My girlfriend insists on paying for me sometimes, she's embarrassed by how I always offer to pay. Also, if a woman insists on you paying for everything and gives nothing in return, is she really worth dating? Just steer clear of selfish people like that and you'll be fine!

    2|0
    0|0
  • both guys and girls must pay their OWN stuff. guys aren't idiots to pay for both LOL

    2|0
    0|0
    • Yeah. Funny how no woman in here wants to answer this question at the moment. lol

  • You pay for the first date because it a courtesy. You are try to court this girl. And impress her.

    I feel like your On a job interview With girls.

    buy I see this like this when I invite the homie to go see a movie I buy the tickets cause I asked that foo. But he good buy his own food a and shit lol. So it on the invite person. Luke you invite someone to your party but you ain't got no food. Lol

    but seriously don't pay for the girl after the first couple. Of date 3

    if she ain't giving you shit or if she ain't paying than why u paying

    0|0
    0|0
  • ThIs is why guys earn that dollar extra an hour. That and the whole titanic/hostage situation thing.

    0|0
    2|1
    • Seriously though, you're on the titanic it's going down. Who do they get to the lifeboats first?
      Same with hostage situations who do they negotiate for first?
      Women and children, like freezing cold water and bullets can't kill me too.

  • Isn't it interesting how women are all about abolishing gender roles, except when they're not?

    Isn't it also interesting how they say "whoever asks the other out should pay", and yet they expect the man to do the asking?

    Convenient, eh?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypocrisy

    0|0
    2|0
Loading...