Why does my boyfriend talk about himself a lot/what should I do?

My boyfriend and I have been going out for over 6 months now, I feel like he talks about himself all the time. I actually feel like he barely even knows anything about me because he hasn't bothered to ask (obviously he knows my basic details etc) I've never confronted him about this.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If I put on my relationship coaching hat, here's what I would tell you.

    We decide what stamp we have on our relationship based on our actions and words and things that we accept. If you're six months into this and it's been all about him so far, you will have a challenge changing that scene but here are two ways to approach it.

    1) Play a game with him where you ask questions about each other. There are plenty of these games at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc. which just have basic life, background, favorites, etc. type questions. You need to see how he asks the questions and, when you answer some of them, how much a pulses for more than whatever you said. If it's just you answer and he moves on to another question, it's bad and you need to assess whether you can stay in a one-sided relationship.

    2) Don't ask him any more questions about himself or, when he opens up about him, nod and do whatever it is you were doing. When he notices you acting differently, he'll raise the issue. And when he does, you say something like "well, I assumed that since you had no interest in details about me that you would understand why I had no interest in your details'.

    Bottom line, you much teach people how to treat you. To date, you've taught him, by virtue of what you accept, that it's okay that he has no deep interest in you. You must change that dynamic.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Now you know how men feel when women only talk about themselves

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    • I think all genders speak about themselves as much as the other.

What Girls Said 1

  • Some people are obsessed with themselves no matter how open you keep a conversation... I've been there. It's a hard thing to confront without him getting defensive. If it gets to a point where you're saying things and he's almost just blatantly ignoring them, end it. It's frustrating and relationships need to be equal.
    @mazeoflove is more optimistic than I am, though.

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    • I'm not optimistic about it, but realistic. I don't dispute you've done everything you can. I was simply noting that once you've done what you can, it's time to move on. The things I noted above are examples of things you can do if you're looking for approaches.

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