Is it bad to see/date two people at once?

I've been informally hanging out w a guy friend who I know likes me. But we haven't kissed or anything, just held hands and hugged.

Another guy I met asked me out on 'proper date', like dinner and drinks and I said yes.

Is this wrong of me? I haven't kissed either or had sex w either. It takes me a while to catch feelings so since I'm not sure how I feel about them both is it bad for me to see both for a bit and see what happens and how I feel. Obviously I wouldn't see both if it got to the point where we were having sex or something.

I'm British if that makes a difference.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • there's nothing wrong with it. I question the logic of someone who thinks you can't date 2 guys at once. so if you and mike go to dinner Wednesday you can only see him and must turn down any other guys who want to go out? your single

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    • okay thank you

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    • @jacquesvol lol, I don't have a bf or guy friends :p But if I went to a movie with a guy alone, I'd expect us to be kissing.

    • @HeartsBloodDupre ,
      That's your choice.

What Guys Said 13

  • If that's what works for you and you're being honest about it, then I think it's OK.

    Me personally, I have a one track mind, and I only like one person at a time. That's just me, though.

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    • yeah I couldn't keep it up for very long I don't think.

  • Just be upfront and honest, don't give any false hopes or expectations

    Say you choose the 2nd guy after some time, the first guy may feel that he was being led on and assume he never had a chance, but still you let him think so

    The guys should no u haven't made any commitment to them, u don't have to say it so directly, but it should be known

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    • okay , yeah, how would you be upfront, just tell them if they ask or just say im hanging out with another guy too?

    • Well if they ask, yes, it's best you tell

      I don't think you have to be as direct as telling them to start with (they may take it as a hint of lack of interest) but you can allude to it

      Say the first guy ask you to a movie you might let him know you've watched that one with another "guy friend", don't hide the fact that one exist from the other

    • Okay, thank you :)

  • It is fine, provided that you don't lie about it. (Note: lying is not the same as refusing to give information.)

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  • As long as there's a physical distance between you, where's the problem?

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    • what do you been physical distance?

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    • Just keep the table and your coffees or sodas between you.

    • ahh well I've already done that with the first guy (not kiss tho). but no hug, really? bc I would do that w friends

  • It's not bad to date two people at once, cause you haven't had the feelings of wanting to be exclusive with a specific guy that you wanted to.

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  • I have been through this before! I was the guy who ended up feeling betrayed in the end! My last girlfriend eloped with the man and waited 3 months to tell me. I flew into a rage fueled by anger and despair that lasted 2 years. I don't wish this on anyone! So be careful and be responsible in how you date. Trust broken is a friend lost. Honesty is always the best policy.

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    • I wouldn't do that if I was officially with some one obviously. But i'm sorry you had to go through that

  • Yes that's ok and if you form sexual relationship, that would be ok too.

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    • thank you for sticking up for this fact. I'm not bound by anyone so I should be able to do what I want initially

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    • I'm not privy to British culture so I can't really say on the matter. But if that's the case that's good for you
      : )

    • That's partly why I was unsure, not sure what the norm is here. but thanks

  • If your in a relationship (going out, boyfriend girlfriend) then it's a bad thing, but if your single and not in a relationship you can go on as many dates as you'd like.

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  • If you are Single then it's acceptable.

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    • yupp im single. cheers

  • I read it as 'sedate' lol. Psycho question.

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    • yeah don't worry i'm not really down with sedating people haha

  • I think as long as your being honest about it it's fine.

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  • Well I'll explain it like this. My ex broke up with me a couple of months ago and we haven't seen each other since even though I tried but that's a different story. But a few weeks ago I meat a really nice girl that I've been seeing and it's really nice. Well the thing is my ex has started making an appearance. I don't know what she's up to maybe she's trying to come back or just got jealous that I was seeing somebody else. But I'm not dating either of them and until I have all the facts about my ex and until I'm sure what's going on and we make it official with the new girl I can see my ex even though I haven't seen her.
    So my advice go on a date with the other guy the only thing I never want to do is hurt anybody so anything you do don't tell them about whatever and if you plan on letting the other one down do it gently and slowly.
    Good luck.

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    • thank you yeah. what to say if anything is my main concern I think and how to let someone down gently. cheers

    • The easiest way to let somebody down gently I've found is that you do it gradually. The same way you get together just in reverse. Just take it one step at a time. The worst you can do is just cut contact at least that's the worst thing for me. That's the only way you can really figure out what and who to be with in these types of situations just take things slow because nothing is in a rush and everything becomes clear if you just let it happen naturally on it's own. The worst thing is to force something because you just complicate things. The only thing I haven't figured out is does it also complicate things if you back away or ignore them when they are trying to come back subtly and you want them to but don't want to look like you do just want them to step up their game. This is a tough one because you never know when to stop playing hard to get and start returning their feelings.

  • No problem at all! Until you've had a conversation about being exclusive, there's nothing at all wrong with seeing other people. You're within your rights and so is he.

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What Girls Said 7

  • As long as it isn't "understood" that you are exclusive with someone, go for it. I juggle a few; if they ask I tell. I do NOT sleep with any of them. Dating is just that, dating to find potential compatible matches.

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    • okay, thank you. I feel kinda guilty about it even tho I know im not really doing anything wrong

  • To some people it's okay. Personally, I wouldn't do it, I don't think it's fair. Unless they both know it, I don't like the idea of lying and it's probably because when I start dating with a man, I only want to think about him.

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    • Yeah, I'm not sure if it's bad or not. Since the first guy and me aren't actually going on dates as such I don't know if that count because he just flirts with me, we haven't had a proper conversation about anything. Also I rarely get dates, its just annoying that there's been two guys come along at once grr typical

    • I understand :) it's just that if it become a little more serious, you'll have to be honest

    • Okay, thank you :) Yeah I don't like lying either

  • Honestly that doesn't sound wrong, at least not technically since you're only hanging out with them. But I think the right thing to do would be telling them. Just in case they're missing out on other people to be committed to you at this point. I don't know if that makes sense :/

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  • As long as they both know you're not exclusive with either of them, and are dating around. It's not fair to the guy if they are lead to believe they are the only one you are interested in.

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    • yeah. I don't really know how to address it or what to say

  • Is it a casual date like u only going on date with both and not in a committed relationship?

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    • I'm only friends with the first guy, we have been hanging out but not in a romantic setting or anything, and nothing has properly happened.

      The second guy has asked me out to dinner so more like an actual date.

      I wouldn't go out with anyone if I was already in a relationship no. So yeah casual date I guess

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    • yes but if the two guys thought differently then they might be hurt
      best to let them know u r keeping options open

    • oh okay I see what you mean. Thanks!

  • It is bad to see two people but if you are really not going out with both of them at the same time it really isn't bad. Just don't do

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  • Which 1 is hotter

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    • hahaha the second one. but personality wise I like the first one but he won't man up enough!

    • I think u like the 1st one more. But as long as u r trye to your feelings. Its not wrong.

    • hmm yeah I think maybe your right. the hotness if guy no. 2 may be swaying me tho i'm not gonna lie

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