Why doesn't he compliment me?

We have been together for 2 years, he used to compliment me all the time, never looked at other girls or anything. Im pregnant and its been hard but now all the components are out the window replaced with out downs ugly fat stupid, etc. But he tells our cats how pretty they are constantly!! I have started to notice that he compliments others and says they are beautiful and sexy, the closest i get is cute and that is once every now and then. Why has it all changed? I try to talk to him he just says I'm jealous or there's nothing wrong. I have to pry it out of him to compliment me, but cats and other girls he comes out and just says it, he doesn't see how much it hurts me and depressed i am, i try to say it but he gets mad and start a fight. I barely have a self esteem do to bullying growing up. I am not bad looking, because even at 9 months pregnant i get men who hit on me. But why can't he compliment me any more?


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What Guys Said 2

  • This is hard to say but I must put on my relationship coaching hat and give it to you straight, from my perspecitve.

    1) It's natural, unfortunately, for compliments to decelerate in relationships, regardless of the dynamics (pregnancy, duration since wedding, etc.) Why? Because it's not natural for men to be expressive and their initial expressiveness is generally attributed to their wooing/courting of women. AND, women naturally accept the deceleration and thus men don't have to change that stripe.

    2) What's important is that you teach people how to treat you. Meaning, compliments mean something to you and they've decreased but I bet you haven't decreased in providing in areas that matter to him. In other words, you're not getting what you want but I bet he still is. Translation, you're teaching him that it's okay for him to compliment you less because there really is no repercussion for doing so. And I don't mean this from a 'tit for tat' perspective of always keeping score but, in the general sense, relationships are and should be about mutual respect and mutual giving. The giving here isn't mutual so make it so.

    At the end of the day, you can't and don't want to force compliments, otherwise they're not here with sincerity. Figure out how much they matter to you and assess your actions based on that. And, teach people how to treat you.

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  • He got used to you.

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