Would you really date someone only for his/her personality?

Im a guy, i am not attractive, but i have friends (male and female) that tell me im a very nice person. I have never had a girlfriend, i've asked a lot of girls out, i do my best to be nice, friendly and kind, but all of them rejected me for my looks.
I like to know if there's even the slightest chance of someone liking me even if im not attractive?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a very complicated question and why I think a lot of men get confused as to what women want.

    It is very possible for a woman to not be jazzed about your looks, but become more attracted to you because of personality, yes. This usually only occurs when you have an open door however, and are around her enough to demonstrate that confidence and sense of humor.

    So If she doesn't know you, and all she knows about you is your looks that don't turn her on, and you'll likely never be around her again without a phone number or date, she'll pass you by. If you work together, have the same group of friends, go to school together, etc. there's a better chance she'll get to see your personality and you can get in that way.

    If however, she's on the fence about your looks (some things she likes just not totally sold), you'll have an easier time getting through that door while she decides if she likes you. This is why it's more common to see an attractive girl with an average guy, versus an attractive girl with an unattractive guy.

    So bottom line, looks DO matter to extent. Girls feel it doesn't matter much to them because they can recall a guy who didn't totally turn them on at first, but his personality grew on them due to being around them a lot, or at least slightly attracted to him enough to give him a chance. They're not recalling the tons of guys who hit on them on the street who they were unattracted to and never gave a chance.

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    • Thank you, you helped me to understand what i should do, i really appreciate it.

What Girls Said 13

  • in my opinion, being attractive could hardly matter less. I actually tend to like not-as-attractive guys more because i know there must be a gem of a personality hidden behind an exterior most girls won't even glance at because it's not "classically attractive." all the guys I've liked weren't the cutest guys or the ones with the most social media followers, but the ones that made me feel beautiful when I was around them and the ones that treated me like I really matter to them, and if a girl isn't willing to see past the exterior and look at someone's real substance, they're limiting themselves severely.

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  • The most important thing about a person is their personality. There can be a really physically attractive person but they could be the biggest douche bag in the world. You can have a not so physically attractive person with a really sweet/nice guy personality. I'd personally go with the second guy because I don't want to be with a douche. But lucky for me, my man has both a very attractive appearance and a very attractive personality so it worked out perfect for me :) But you'll find your girl one day. And she will see you as the most attractive guy in the world. Just keep being sweet and you should find her :) You're not even 18 yet so there's tons of time.

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  • Yes. Obviously if you are attractive getting girls is easier but like I have a friend alex and at first i wasn't interested in him at all. Our first day was like this :
    i just looked at him and moved on to be honest. But once we strted talking , he always looked into my eyes, and leaned down and subtly flirted. when we were seperating I realized I had actually begin to flirt back somewhere in that conversation.
    Ofc. We talked a couple of more times , he nver made a move so i moved on but still., yes attraction isn't just based on looks.

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  • Yes of course people date just on personality. I've dates guys that my shallow friends have asked why because they weren't the best looking dudes but they were definitely the nicest and most thoughtful guys I've dated. They're the ones I miss more than the better looking less nice guys. It's harder when you're younger especially high school people are still so shallow and quick to judge but it gets easier later. Try befriending girls first. You don't even have to be interested in them when you meet but over time when you find things in common with people the unexpected happens. It means so much more to have a person you can get along with and connect with than what they look like.

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  • To be honest, no. Of course personality is important, but physical attraction is also important to me. So, in order to date someone, I must feel physically attracted to them.

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  • I honestly don't care for looks, I care for personality. I'm not dating the persons looks i'm dating their personality. Most of the times guys that are good looking are players and don't know how to treat women. Trust me you will find a girl give it some time!!!<3

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  • Yes, there's a lot of chances. You ever seen an ugly couple? Sure you have, I've seen loads, I've seen some of the most hideous and badly dressed people walking hand in hand with wedding bands on, it will happen. I won't tell you soon, or that there's someone special waiting for you but it will happen. You aren't even 18 yet, trust me - you won't be alone forever.

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  • yes, of course, don't be the nice guy door mat though, be the cool nice guy. either way, there's going to be a woman who comes along and she will appreciate everything about you. just keep it up

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    • "Cool nice guy". I haven't heard that one before. Can you explain that to me?

    • Show All
    • Based on your description you wouldn't date either. You said like a boyfriend. Would being a 'cool nice guy' really help his chances?

    • yes, because cool nice guy ends up having her wanting him without him even having to try, i know this because it happened to me.

  • Yes!!! Girls will really date a guy who isn't Brad Pitt. Let them know you. Be confident that you are a tremendous person. If you show your inner self, they will feel good about who they are, and then be drawn to you. It takes a lot of confidence, but that is very attractive.

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  • Only? Most likely not. That would maybe 'seal the deal' though.

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  • If i were to ever want to date anyone, even though i don't, then simply, yes.

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  • Look, I will ONLY date someone I find attractive. That's it. No question or doubts about it. Of course, in what way do I find people attractive? Looks or personality? My answer is both. I like a guy at the moment who is NOTHING like my "type" at all. He's not skinny or small. He's chubby. Some would consider that unattractive. I don't. I like him for his personality, BUT I also find him attractive in the looks department despite his weight. I didn't see him as anything more than a friend at first, but because of his personality he grew on me. Looks are not everything when it comes to dating. Trust me. I have liked many guys that were not the typical "hot" but to me they were.

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  • I've been thinking about thi. People say that looks don't matter and the personality does then they get together with a good looking asshole and wonder why things are bad.

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What Guys Said 5

  • oh yeah I would. well to a certain extent yeah I would. its all about balance. you stand a chance buddy.

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  • Did the girls that rejected you actually say it was because of your looks? If they did, forget about them. Looks only get attention, Personality keeps it (or stops it). Think about it, why do you see some geeky looking guys with beautiful girls? It's because their nice and intelligent. You're not even 18 yet. Girls in college are a lot better than girls in high school in just about every way.

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  • Nope. Personality is only half looks are the other half. I can't really see myself with anyone it there wasn't both. Half only gets you a friend slip maybe.

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  • I had physically attracted women dig me because of my personality.

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  • Absolutely not. A person's personality reflects on how they look and how they look will reflect on how much they care for themselves. Anyone who can't see that doesn't deserve to date and that's most people.

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    • These people... How exactly are they encouraging you if they don't know what you look like. You could be a burn victim for all they know. Since when is lying to people good for them?

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