Is he in pain or just being an ***hole?

Ok so i've never asked for online advice in my life but im really kind of stuck...

Let me sum up events:

-I was friends with this amazing guy for around a year.
-About 7 months ago we decided to do the "friends with benefits" thing.
-All was for some months, although we did grow closer and started talking about relationships, love etc.
-About three weeks ago his best friend and the girlfriend of his best friend got into a car accident, the girlfriend died onthe spot, his best friend was kept in a two week coma, a nerve-wrecking time..
-One night i gave him a massage and while i was doing this he was looking up songs on his phone, out of the blue he says; ï love you", but WHILE looking at his phone, and puts on tracy chapmans "sorry"... i honestly didn't know if i misunderstood so i asked him, he just smiled...
-The VERY NEXT DAY his best friend died at the hospital.
-I had to leave the country one day after so asked him through text message if he wanted me to postpone my flight, i never got a reply.
-I left for about two weeks and sent him supportive msgs throughout but he never replied.
-Two days before my return he messages me out of the blue äre you really coming back?"
-I came back and everything seemed fine but he seemed more distant, he was quite open about how hurt he is bc of the situation.
-Then he really pulled back and out of the blue his friend had a conversation with me about expectations etc, i thought he was talking about us, but not sure...
-I brought him a present and left it at his door, he sent me "thank you"the next day but no contact after that.

This is where i got stupid... i freaked out and started reading online about friends with benefits and how it never works, so the next day i texted him and told him honestly that i have very deep feelings for him and the friends with benefits situation isn't working for me anymore, so i would leave him alone for a while until my feelings cooled down.

No reply...


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What Guys Said 1

  • His friend just died. I don't think you understand what "sympathy" is.

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    • Do you really think im being unsympathetic? I really wanted to be there for him so much but sending message after message and not getting any reply is confusing me... I really want him to be well and i hurt for him seriously but i have a feeling i can't reach him...

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    • You are so right... i want to fix it, he's the most amazing person I've known in a long time... so just give it some time? thanks for being harsh i guess i needed that by the way :)

    • And thats not sarcasm, i mean it, i need a kick in the butt

What Girls Said 1

  • His is definitely not being an asshole. Give him some time and space. His mourning his friends, you can't really expect everything to be exactly the same.

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    • Thanks for your reply, ill do that, i really didn't mean to be mean or a bitch but i dont know what to do... ill call him in a couple of days...

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