11 years gap. . . . HUGE issue?

I have been told by ladies on numerous occasions that, I am very good looking, however, I am a bit of a shy recluse with excellent communication skills oddly. Anyway, I met this absolutely beautiful girl 6 months ago. . . A mutual friend told me she (the girl in question) crazy about me and that I should probably make a move, I didn't. . . Not because I didn't like her, but because I was too shy. I guess she noticed and decided to ask me out herself. We started slowly but soon, I was just as crazy about her. . . We can't go a day without seeing or speaking to each other, everything just seems perfect. She is pretty, mature, intelligent and devoid of any kind of drama. The quintessential dream girl for me at least. Problem is last month she asked me my age and it turns out she is 18 and I am 11 years older. She says it doesn't bother her, but I have to be be honest, I freaked out a bit. . . I always thought she was 22 just like her best friend. The whole situation has had a crushing effect on me, I was really thinking and hoping she was the one, now I am just confused and in a psuedo-depressive state cos she tells me she dreams of spending the rest of her life with me, however I am a practical realist have to be true to myself. . . . We are in different stages in life, and I don't see how this can possibly work. Can't explain how hurt I am at the moment.

Thanks guys. . . I must say prior to posting this I had given everything a good thought, and I really want to be with her, but I am trying to see things from a realistic perspective. What happens to her teenage years of wanting to go out, party with friends and just have fun? Won't she feel bored with me considering I am almost out of my youth, and might act different from guys in her age group? Just a lot of questions surrounding this situation. M love for her is however not in doubt.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well if you aren't comfortable with the idea of dating a girl 11 years younger than you. Then don't. But keep in mind, you mentioned that you thought she was 22 and not 18. Lots of people don't really care about age, like me. I guess one of the major roles that plays a part is maturity. If this girl is mature and can actually be in a serious relationship, then I don't see the problem. She makes you happy, she's mature, intelligent.. I honestly see nothing wrong with dating her. But, the main issue is that you aren't comfortable with the age gap. Maybe continue seeing her for a while and see if you can still be comfortable with her and have fun while knowing her age. If it still bothers you, then be honest with her; explain to her your feelings and break things off. But at least give the relationship a chance. Who knows, it might actually be the best relationship you'll ever have. Try it, and if it doesn't work out, then at least you will know that you gave it a chance.. Hope this helped a bit :)


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What Girls Said 2

  • Wow. I think she's lucky to find a genuine guy. Maybe your a good thing for her to steer clear of that path. Partying got me into a lot of trouble, had I found a guy to keep me away from that in the end probably would have made me happier. Im sort of going through that but im the young one. there's this 32 year old guy, and im 23. Its so new to me with the age difference and I don't want to freak him out since he's got a salary job, his own house, head on his shoulder, and yet im 23 a shift manager at a burger joint, with an almost 2 year old living with my parents haha. She might be worried that your a successful, sweet rare guy and that she's just beginning her life. Id say if thats the only reason maybe show her why you'd be good for her.

  • Does her age change her level of maturity?

    • As clearly stated, In no way whatsoever does it affect her maturity. . .

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