How should I help myself get over the fact that every guy I have ever liked, rejected me?

Many guys have liked me, but none I could even try to get myself to feel something for. The ones who showed interest and who I liked back, always ended up rejecting me. Usually during the initial stages (first few months), This clearly indicates something is wrong with me. They have every right to reject me, especially if they feel they can find something better. I hold the same right. But at the end of the day, no matter how much you hold yourself strong, if every liking has ended up becoming nothing.. then I eventually realised that even when a guy flirted, he didn't like me. And it was true every time. Even when I was convinced the guy loved me the same way back. I don't fall for someone easily, I always took my time and enjoyed the stable increase towards a closer bond. The guys seemed just as fine.. that is until I made it clear that I wanted more. I am a beautiful and classy girl (as friends say) so I know I must have some nasty personality traits. I have tried to figure those out and fix myself but the outcome has never been any different. How can I distance myself from this pain? How can I stop hurting every single day? How do I stop feeling like I'm not good enough/worthy enough? How do I HAPPILY accept that no man will ever love me the way I always imagined myself finding? Everyone around me has gotten in and out of relationships or found someone, but I am always the single one... always. I realised at this stage that I will not find anyone, I'm too damaged. I am extremely confident and fun loving, but when it comes to love... I just won't open up again because I associate that with being rejected.. its all i have ever known. How do I see the positives in being single forever and how do I fix myself so that I can be happy in solitude and that if no man will ever love me, then its fine too.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't be a defeatist. You're a good person with crap luck. The karma of the world's in the toilet, fools can find 'love' anywhere n good people are a needle in a haystack. Dating sucks for people with an honest desire to love n be loved. Yr gonna have to learn to say Fuck it n get acquainted with grief. No-one wants to but eventually you'll see it separates the adults from the kids (not a great answer, Ha, good luck)

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    • Yeh I hear that a lot from friends. One of my guy friends said "you're not a girl that guys would reject so you need to weed out the bad ones. I don't know why you have such bad luck" Very sweet of him and the dozen others who say that. Its because I make a great friend, perhaps his opinion would change if he actually had to be with me :P. Anyway, I digress. How do I "get acquainted with grief", what do you mean with that? I don't want to feel grief. I want to be happy with fate. I don't need to find love anymore or to have a guy. I have been single my whole life and I know my life isn't a move, I know my luck won't miraculously change. And as I said, I am way passed the whole get out there and try, it has been 8 years of shit. In the 6th yr I felt like it, then I tried in the 7th yr and found someone who then after a yr of pursuing me, said nah ain't happening. the 8th yr is a realisation that some people never have their luck change.

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    • well not everyone :P. I think I deserve it, but im not worth it for most guys so in that case I perhaps dont :P

    • Nevermind, were in the same boat. Ask someone who hasn't been crapped on

What Guys Said 2

  • did you ask some of the guys "why" ? i mean there seem to be a lot of guys who like you initally but if they reject you in the initial stages, it just means you are not for them, not that you are inherently bad.

    i think i will just pass the unsatisfying advice i allways get: you are a good person and you will ultimately find the right partner. you´ll just have to wait and endure the pain...

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    • Yeh but since you're a guy, I'm sure you know a guy is never completely honest. They sometimes say, oh I think you're amazing and such a good human being and I really care about you but I can't be with you. I ask why and they say "we're too different". I probe and then they say "No its not about you, I'm just not in that place right now". All bs stuff really, we all know that if a guy really likes you... he will make it happen, despite the odds (if there are any). But no I won't find anyone, thats ok. I just wish I knew how to accept that I can't attract a guy. Whenever a guy talks to me or is nice, I don't take it too seriously since guys never really do want me enough to be with me so I don't bother. When the odd guy tries a little harder to be friends or to get close, I try to make an equal effort. Thats when they are out. Sometimes I have had to throw them out, because they weren't being good to me. I don't need to waste energy and time on someone who doesn't think I'm worth it

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    • Yeh could be, maybe I don't give enough. But its because I'm careful.. due to the rejection and shit I have had, despite the guys being good guys. its a vicious cycle. But thanks for taking out the time to help a complete stranger, I'll give what you said serious consideration :)

    • i am not sure if it´s good advice though since i am in the same situation (even worse than you) but your´re welcome :D

  • oooh i like cutiee like u who are brave enough to approach meh. i give u credit for that ;3

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    • I don't approach men :P. They come to me, act interested.. get to know me and reject me...

    • oh dat sux than -_-
      guess ill have to go elsewhere >.>

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