I love my boyfriend but have feelings for another guy. should I break up with my boyfriend or not?

I've been dating my boyfriend, Luis, for almost a month now (a month on nov. 21) and lately, i haven't been as into it as usual. i find myself making up excuses not to sneak out of class to see him and not kissing him as much as we used to. i still hold hands with him and hug and kiss him goodbye but i just dont feel like i used to.
added on top of that, i think im starting to like one of my co-workers, Jake. i still love Luis but i think i have feelings for Jake and i feel guilty about it
i dont know if i should break up with Luis or try to add a spark back in or what.
honestly, i can't see a future with Luis but i dont want to hurt him. when i tell him that i love him, i honestly mean it. but im not "in love" with him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You should be honest with him rather than leading him on. Better to hurt him now than later when he could actually develop more feelings for you. (Didn't mean for that to sound so harsh) but just be honest, you can't fake love, he'll find out sonnet or later

    • it didn't sound so harsh. and i dont want to hurt him like, the day before our 1 month. my last ex broke up with me 2 days before our 1 month and i dont want Luis to have to go through that too.

    • I understand, but there will still be some level of hurt before or after your one month. You shouldn't drag it out too long though if you decide to wait after the one month anniversary. You don't want to be lying to him though on your one month though and pretend you have feelings for him when you don't. I think that's be worse.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Shiny sparkly new boyfriend smell wore off!

    If you can't see a future with him (and it's because of more than "I'm not as attracted to him as I was 2 weeks ago when he was super new") then leave him as soon as possible... otherwise you're just setting the two of you up for trouble.

  • If u don't love him, tell him. As a person who's cheated and been cheated on, it's best to come clean and take it on the chin. Tell your bf what's up. No need to lead him on if u don't feel the same. It's gonna hurt him but u can't force yourself to be with anyone. However can u really be sure u have feelings for this other guy? You've only been with ur bf for a month and now you're interested in someone else? I highly recommend just taking a break. You're still young and discovering who u are and what type of guys u like. Take a break for a couple weeks and think. Last thing u wanna do is be one of those girls who bounces around bf to bf because she can't decide what she likes. And don't be so quick to jump into relationships. Dating takes months not days before making things official.

  • What you're describing is the "spark" that comes with a new relationship. It's a chemical reaction in your head designed to perpetuate procreation.

    If that, or the lack of it, makes you want to dump the guy you're with, then by all means do so, just remember that this "feeling" isn't love, and it always fades in time, no matter who you're with, so it's probably not the best thing to measure the viability of your relationships by.

  • What's in Jake that Luis doesn't have?

    • i dont know. i guess he's more mature than Luis and he make me laugh more. i enjoy talking and hanging out with Jake more and with Luis, sometimes i just want to be alone.

    • nope cuz Jake is more of a bad boi playa like and he has the looks. thats what the cuties usually after ;3

    • Keyspirits, actually he isn't. Jake is mormon boy. Luis does more bad stuff than Jake. as for looks, Jake has a baby face which he uses to his advantage xD

What Girls Said 1

  • No, you don't love Luis if you don't feel the way you used to. When you love someone they are your wold and you wouldn't be finding excuses to not see them. Clearly something is wrong somewhere and yes, you should break up with him. He deserves someone who wants to kiss him and who only wants him. Switch the roles here. Would you like a guy staying with you if he actually liked another girl and doesn't see a future with you?