Is he being manipulative?

Been with my bf for 9 months. We 3 hours away right now, so communicating is a big thing of course. But thd past few months, he will abruptly stop texting mid "conversation" and then I won't hear back from him at all until the next day if I text him again. He prefers text not calling. I try calling, but he won't pick up. When I express how much i dislike it when he cuts me off, he gets mad at me with a "geesh I went to bed". I tell him it's rude to cut me off wo telling me, "hey I'm going to bed" but he still does things like this. I find it very manipulative.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think it's him not calling you or him abruptly ending your text communication is manipulative but it is selfish and inconsiderate. He prefers a relationship where he gets the bells and whistles (sex, companionship on his terms) without having to put forth much effort.

    The real problem, however, is this. You're tolerating/accepting it. If he's been like this and continues to be like this and you're still with him, why should he change? Teach people how to treat you! Next time he blows off your concern about his lack of communication, tell him one of your needs (not wants--BUT NEEDS) is better communication. If he doesn't provide it, break it off. Sound harsh? Perhaps--but in the maze of love you should only accept what you expect.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He's cultivating that sense of longing, he prefers text because it gives him the chance to think about what he says. When you confront somebody for doing something wrong it's not uncommon for them to counter your argument with aggression, this is a decoy to throw you off the scent. Yeah, pretty manipulative.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't say manipulative but, you're right, it is rude. Manipulative is more like doing things that he shouldn't to get his way, you know? I think that if confronting him isn't working you need to FORCE him to listen to you and if it sparks a fight let it play out. Don't back down! This is your relationship too and you get a say in how it goes.

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