Why would she say "not now" instead of just a simple no?

I asked a friend out today and she rejected me, but instead of sayInge a simple no she said
"Uh, not really right now. Sorry."
why would she say that instead of a simple no


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She was probably caught off guard and didn't know how to let you down easy. So instead she kinda left it open that maybe later you can go out. Sorry hun :/

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What Girls Said 4

  • Rejecting someone can be difficult because you don't want to hurt the other person, but you know that they will likely be hurt anyway. Sometimes people try to "soften" the rejection by not giving an outright no. Another reason people sometimes give a "soft no" is because rejecting someone sometimes results in that person reacting angrily/aggressively, and people want to avoid that.

    That said, I realize why "soft no"s are shitty, because they can give people false hope, but those are the main reasons why people don't give outright "no"s.

    Of course, there are likely some instances when someone says, "not right now" or something of that sort and really means it---I just wouldn't hold out for it.

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  • She wanted to let you down gently without hurting her feelings.

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    • That's stupid, it's just going to leave me with false hope and wind up causing more pain overall

    • She's just trying to be nice

  • Its probably because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings or wants to keep u as an option when things get really lonely. But i will go with the former.

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  • She's trying not to sound harsh.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm sure the other feedback on here is accurate, and said with the best intentions. That being said, my brother is happily married to a woman who said something along the lines of (somewhat hesitantly) "Not now... but maybe some time later... if you really want... I guess."

    Maybe its the exception, but just felt obligated to throw that out there. They're super in love now, and have an adorable baby daughter and everything.

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