I'm afraid having self respect will leave me all one?

I feel like no guys are interested in me to date me. I was really interested in this guy and we've never hung out before but tonight he texted me and asked me if I wanted to come over and "watch a movie"... we all know what that means. Well I didn't want to be the girl who goes over there and pretends like I don't know what it means so I told him I didn't feel like watching a movie and he told me "never mind then". I feel like a nice guy who actually wanted to get to know me would have asked me what I wanted to do instead or would have suggested something else... did I do the right thing if I have morals or am I losing out/come off as a bitch?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I hate guys like him. YES you did everything right. Never lower your standards/morals for someone who doesn't have any. There is someone out there that thinks your beautiful and that knows how special you are. continue to have morals and you will attract the right guy.

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    • Remind me never to ask a girl to watch a movie with me. o. O

What Guys Said 3

  • Being a girl and then becoming a lady takes a lot of practice. He pushed for something. And the emotional of your answer was total rejection. Like placing a million mile window in from of the candy he wants.

    what you need to do is learn then like... "how about we do something outside?"

    I am supposedly a smart guy. But women do shit all the time expecting me to know (and honestly i should, u really should know what she means) but i am such a guy that is flies outside of what i know. example. girl sits on my bed next to me... in my bedroom... and we're chatting and she says look what i can do and sticks her fist in her mouth. Naturally the brilliant man i am with fantastic memory, i recall third grade when all of us tried this, and i reply, "Oh yeah we did that when we were kids too." and stick my own fist in my mouth. My IQ is 131 and test in the top 97% percentile of the united states. But it takes me hours to realize things like, wait was i just invited to a threesome with two girls where one models? And I was like that sounds great, but I promised my uncle I would stop by this weekend. Pretty sure he would have understood if i had skipped for fantastic sex with a caramel skinned south American and a smoking hot gum drop nipples African girl.

    Point is. We really have to think on how not to reject opportunities from other people or assume we know what they mean, by considering why did they do that?

    You are fine. Call him and let him know. If you have another suggestion i am interested and if he does do not reject it, simply say that sounds good what about ___? { if you are afraid he will try to please his penis too soon.}

    Maybe what you need is self defense training and two electric stun guns if someone ever tries to force themselves on you. If you shoot them it is absolutely important you empty the entire gun into them.

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    • I'm confused, are you saying he doesn't know why I didn't feel like watching a movie and he thinks I rejected him?

    • Yes. He doesn't know why you didn't offer him an alternative? If you like him, then recognize his effort with some of your own.

  • Is it really self respect or fear?

    Watching a movie means watching a movie. Why does he have to ask you what you want to do? Why didn't you tell him what you wanted to do? Don't just wait for a guy to keep trying to pick and choose something that you want to do--just friggin' tell him what you would like.

    To him, it sounds like he just wanted to watch a movie. If he wanted to do something with you, then he would have asked what you wanted to do. Instead, he was probably getting ready to watch a movie, then went, "Hey. I wonder if she'd like to watch this, too." Then, when you said 'no', he was going to watch it anyway, because it wasn't about you, it was about the movie.

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  • Its rude to just assume that he meant sex when he asks if you want to see a movie. I mean at least you could have asked "What movie" you know try and make it clearly about the movie.

    Also there's nothing inherently moral to me about not having sex. Im not saying go for it and have casual sex when that's not what you personally are into, but don't equivocate having sex with someone you like yet barely know with an immoral act.

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    • I asked him what movie and he said
      "havent picked yet" then said "any suggestions"

    • then I said "ehhh I don't really feel like watching a movie" and he said "alright never mind then"

What Girls Said 1

  • You don't have to pretend. Just tell him movies find bit no sex. If you really think that's his aim he's not that great anyhow and he's just one guy. There are others some will be nice.

    But to have self respect doesn't mean playing dumb if lying. You didn't tell him why you didn't feel like it if call him out even though you were willing to react to your assumption as if it is fact.

    If you really believed that was his aim call him out on it. No reason to be subtle when he's not. And if you're wrong you'll learn.

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    • I feel like I didn't need to call him out on it thought because he's not an idiot, he knows exactly what he was doing and by me saying I didn't feel like watching a movie he knows I'm not an idiot either. I think that's why he was rude and just said "alright never mind then" when if he really wanted to spend time with me he could of asked me what I wanted to do instead or suggested something else

    • well exactly if you're so sure everyone is referring to sex or not having it then way not just say that. you dk if e thinks you're an idiot obviously if he thinks he can get you over or sex just like that he doesn't think you're not an idiot.

      a lot of people are going to want to see movies just bc and not for sex. so just for the sake of keeping a clear division between trying to have sex vs a movie id just speak honestly. but that's me. since that guys not worth your time i see nothing wrong in what you did.

      but he hardly represents all guys. if you expect all guys to be that way then why would you b worrying about missing the bc apparently ll men are disrespectful. which obviously isn't true.

      so the men who dont respect you toss away. dont give it a second thought. you won't miss out on the nice ones by walking away from the jerks. nothing to worry about.

    • think about it, if this guy had gone from trying to gt you into bed to suggesting something else, would your opinion of him be so altered?

      its best he or you, didn't suggest anything else he's not worth your time.

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