My relationship is falling apart because of his dog.. what do I do?

So I've been with my bf for 1 1/2 years and we've been living together for a few months now but his dog is making me hate my life. she's a Chihuahua pomeranian mix and its like I always come second to her. She pees and poops on the carpet even when we just took her out or we leave the doggy door open. She steals food while your eating it. she's very dominant so I can't get another animal.. she was mean to my cat before it died and my friend brought her dog over once and she attacked it. My bf gives her treats even when she's just been bad and its not dog treats. He gives her our food.. which im broke and im the one who buys a lot of the food. She sleeps in our bed. He won't even kick her out of the bed when we have sex and if I try to ever push her off the bed he freaks out on me as if im abusing her. She won't listen to anyone except for my bf and even then she barely listens. She just had puppies too so he just let her piss and shit everywhere when she was pregnant. Then when she had the puppies he said she wasn't peeing on the floor anymore but I found out he was lying to me and laying newspapers down so she could go per inside and then he'd just clean them up so I wouldn't know.
He knows how all of it affects me but he does nothing about it. He has ptsd from the military and he got the dog when he left the military so he uses that as an excuse. He just tells me that she's his companion and baby and that she's not doing anything wrong.
He wants us to be a family but even when he gets home from work or when I get home from work he spends most of his time with her. We barely hang out anymore. It all just sucks and its really damaging our relationship.
So what do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There are two issues i see. 1: your man isn't treating you properly. 2: you dont have a relationship with the dog. It's pretty bad, dont get me wrong but here's the thing about dogs and men. The dog will unconditionally love him, and has been there. So the dog ain't leaving. If you try and put a wedge there, not only will the dog respond accordingly, ie: poop and pee, dogs are territorial. But your man will resent you. You need to focus on your relationship with the dog, since your man is to pussy to do it himself. If you aren't willing to do the work, then see where your priorities are. You can't change a man, if you try, your destined for pain. Instead, figure out the middle way, compromise.

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    • i completely understand that. i've been trying to get a better relationship with the dog though this entire time, but it doesn't change anything.. she literally acts the exact same way regardless of what i do. i literally was playing ball with her yesterday and then when i tried to take her outside to go to the bathroom she wouldn't come, so i tried to pick her up and she attacked me. my whole hand is swollen. no matter what i do, nothing changes how she is... so what more can i do?

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    • He says he wants to find some sort of compromise so that we're both happy but every time I suggest anything he shuts it down. I've said things like give her treats but dog treats not human food.. dont always let her sleep in the bed but sometimes she can... I've said plenty of things like this but he says none of them are compromises. He says it's just me getting my way.

    • Those aren't compromises. A compromise is an agreement between two people. What I see here, is a girl that puts her foot down, then pulls it back up when there's a little resistance. Reach an actual compromise and get back to me. ;)

What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • How much is that doggie in the window? I am sure you have heard this old song and it looks to me like She is Worth--------More than his supposed soul mate of 1 1/2 years. She is taking over, becoming his Prize pooch and possession, leaving you on the curbside as though you were road kill and this Queen bee bush tail is Rolling over in Royalty.
    If you stand for this, you will always be stooping for whatever puppy poop he decides to throw your way. I don't care what 'Military' Mix lame dog excuse he comes up with, he is In a Real doggone relationship with this mutt, making you to practically sleep on the floor while She lays in bed as if she were his shaggy soul mate.
    It's high time you became your own Commander and Chief and instead of laying out the bills for the grub and taking on the hub bub to boot, you need to stand firm, stand on your own two feet and tell him straight out how it is going to go down with his four legged love.
    It's unfair to you, he is treating you like a door mat. He's barking up the wrong tree and taking this hairy scary Bitch with him, putting both their feet and paws before you. He obviously is finding Something in Her that he is missing with you... he is even informing you that She is his companion and baby and therefore, she can do no wrong.
    He's in the doghouse, sweetie, and so is your relationship. The way I see my own puppy pad list that is in front of me with some serious solutions Is: Either tell him to loosen his leash on the lady of leisure or give him his walking papers, should he start Growling at you, and wish him and the puppy love of his life a good life... until death do they part.
    It's a dogeatdogworld... he is being disrespectful and may even have it in his Play dead head that you should move out because-------Two is company and three is a crowd... think about it...
    Good luck. xx

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    • i completely agree with you! he treats me perfectly when it comes to any other problem we have or anything else, but when it comes to his dog we fight all the time because he never sees my side. she literally attacked me last night and now my whole hand is swollen and he's not even concerned.

    • Oh, my God... I hope you're okay, sweetie.. keep an eye on this, please.. if he i snot even concerned about something as bad as being attacked by this dog, then you know with your hand----just where you stand... you are not important, the pooch is more so and they may as well be this cuddly couple for you are just his door mat, she is the Queen... think it over... it doesn't sound like it will get any better.:)) xx

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