I need some relational advice from male or female?

my ex destroyed my heart, I don't want to go into details, but it was and still is a horrible break up, I can't seem to just get away... I started dating this guy and he is fabulous, but im so guarded and freaking out, and I feel like its holding back the potential for our relationship. How do I let this new guy in without letting all my past relationship come out and project it on to him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • that's what exes are for !!! joke a side I always say this to people, don't go running to a new poor guy right after you beak up so horribly. its not fair. when you do that you still have feelings for the old guy so what you start doing is to compare this new guy to the old guy and even in some cases blame him for all your trouble or hold back because you still think that your ex might change and come back... big mistake. give yourself some more time before dating again. just enough to forget all about your ex. one you forget how to spell his name then your ready. good luck

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    • forgot to tell you what to do, talk to your new date and tell him everything. be honest and tell him that you need some time and space. keep in touch with him (oh and never talk about your ex with him that's a red flag in our book) and date nut nothing more... you goanna be fine and if he is really interested in you then he will give you the time you need.

What Guys Said 4

  • tell him why you're struggling to open up. If he's as great as you say, i'm sure he'll understand and try to help (just don't use him as your personal therapist)...

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  • Depends of the age of the guy or rather the maturity level that he posses. If he is mature then have a convo with him describing, without going into great detail, that you had your heart shit on and that you want to know his intentions. But give him an "out." For example, I want to know if we can start really trusting eachother so I can let myself open up to you or we can take it slow and see where it goes but that will come with me being more guarded. Guys are usually straight forward if they are mature adults and have good intentions. I'm sure you'd be able to tell by now if he is a player.
    Personal question. How long have you been dating him and have you been sleeping together. If you have not slept together or the relationship is still pretty new then I would wait to have this convo.

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  • Just take it slow and try to evaluate your BF's current actions on their own. Communicate with your bf that you are gunshy

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  • I'm the same way, once you've been screwed over a few times you're naturally more guarded. In a way I feel like my feet are on the ground more with relationships these days, it takes time to develop that trust with people. Most guys will be pretty understanding if you tell them how you feel.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I know the feeling, kinda. I've been cheated on twice before and one guy turned out to be a complete psycho, so now I tend to overreact every time my boyfriend says something about another girl, or whenever I get suspicious really. But then I remind myself that I'm just being paranoid, and if I don't want to drive him away I should calm down. It's like having a panic attack really, if you understand what it is and why it happens it gets easier to control it.

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