Online dating and trust?

this question is for both buys and girls. when you meet somebody online, what gives you the trust to meet them in person? i find it really hard to trust people i dont know that well, I don't know if thats good or bad, but thats just the way i am. im about to meet this girl i met online and now all this thoughts are coming to my head, like was she just playing me the whole time... or was it even a real profile? i actually do believe that she is a real person lol but im really really insecure and can't help myself for thinking these things. does anybody else also have these type of thoughts? what makes you trust a person, you never personally met, to meet them?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think I would have to Skype with them a lot before I trusted them.

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    • apparently she does not have Skype

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    • No. I would want to see their face and voice together. I personally wouldn't meet with someone I hadn't skyped with many times. But I play things safe.

    • as you should! thanks again:)

What Girls Said 5

  • Three years ago, hoffery, a man from Egypt found me on FB and it changed my life. After several months of getting to Know him Better on Skype, I then felt Assured enough to fly over to the magical land of Cairo, where I stayed for 30 days. Things went so well that after returning home, I then boarded again, this time tying the knot with him at the Ministry of Justice. I resided there with him for awhile, learning how to be a Muslim's wife...
    I am back in the states now and with our many ups and downs online, breakups and makeups due to me not going back for a long time now, I ended up Cheating on him with someone whom was a Coptic Christan, living closer to me. He found me on Badoo dating site and right away gave me his cell number...
    I have had this dating site profile for four years now. I have never once had a problem of a fake or phony profile, never was scammed... however, I have spoken to many guys on there who were duped by many girls who were only out for money and maybe even a guy behind the curtain...
    It's good to do some homework of your own to get better educated in online dating, scammers and so forth. I did this when I first got on Fb for I had a strange experience that brought me to some chill and possible kill if I had left American soil. I am smart when it comes to many scammers for if I deal with them long enough, I Can become suspicious as to who they really are and who I am speaking to.
    The best you can do for yourself is get a cell phone number and hope that it is real. Go on Skype to familiarize yourself with them and stay on your toes and be alert and Prepared to pick up on Anything that may not seem right.
    Online dating is getting more and more prevalent now a days, for many people are tired of the bar scene and expense. I have had very good luck in meeting the real deal and even if it isn't a 'Deal' that would lead to a Real relationship down the road, it wasn't down a beaten path where I got Taken Nor------Beat.
    Good luck. xx

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    • thanks for sharing your story. its good to hear that in 4 years, nothing ever happend to you:) i would think that more girls get fooled online then guys. i dont think that she is after my money at all, since first, atm i dont have any lol, and she doesn't even know what i do. my biggest concern at this point is just if she's real or nor? I've seen her pic and heard her voice (through audio message, we didn't talk over the phone or skype) and honestly the only reason im doubting is because she just seems to be very sweet when talking to me. wich basicly never happens! i think im should just go through with it! :)

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    • Okay, sounds fair enough then... xx

  • It's hard to trust completely, but I think you just have to go with your gut on this one. For guys, I think the biggest fear is being catfished. So talking on the phone beforehand, skyping, or meeting as quickly as possible is probably your best route to avoid getting to deep in with a faker.

    For women, I think the fear is safety and that he's going to be a creep. This is why I spend a bit of time messaging before meeting, and also make sure to meet in a public place without giving him too much personal info (I won't let him pick me up from my house for example.).

    There's risk involved, but online dating has become so huge that the risks are getting smaller. It's no longer a tool used for the anti-social and the weird, it's as common as Facebook sometimes. If you feel like you can trust her, then just go for it. What's the worst that can happen? Even worst case scenario, it wouldn't be your fault if she were dishonest. That just says a lot about that person's character.

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    • i do feel like i can trust her, as much as i allow myself to trust almost a stranger... even if something could go wrong and it would not be my fault, it would really piss me off lol. but i think im meeting her anyways. as you say, nowadays the risk is smaller, but there is still risk. but then again, isn't there risk everytime you meet a stranger wether it was online or not? i think i should just go:) thanks for your opinion

    • To be honest, it's not much different than if you were to briefly meet a stranger at a bar and then set up a date for later. There is obviously the guarantee that they look the way you expect them to (unless they gave you a wrong number), but they're still a stranger.

      I think it's worth the risk if you like this girl.

    • looks mostly dont matter to much, at least in this case it really doesnt! but i agree with you, i also think its worth the risk. thanks again! :)

  • Well you can't, initially. That is why first dates should always be somewhere public. Also, daytime (coffee etc) are good just in case Mr. Athletic-and-Toned turns out to be the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. I also mention before meeting that I need to XYZ at such and such a time to build an escape route if I need it. Lastly, I let friends know who i am seeing and where I will be.

    The epic fail stories are actually funny in hindsight and a way I break the ice with the good ones. They share theirs, too, and we laugh plus I get a feel for his sense of humor. One guy's story still makes me laugh. Any

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    • story that starts with "I knew I was in trouble when I saw her parking the car...' is a classic, lol.

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    • Yup. :). I have had several. It's at worst an hour or two if it doesn't work out, but if it does... Well you'll never know unless you take that leap :)

    • absolutely!! thanks again:)

  • For online dating, these probably aren't as relevant for guys but:

    1) I always drive myself to wherever we're meeting.

    2) I only agree to meet in a very public well lighted place, that preferably doesn't sell alcohol. .

    3) I never give out my phone number unless I know I want to go on a second date.

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    • Atta girl :). What she said. I would go one step further and say these are good tips for the first dates no matter how you met.

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    • Because I've gone on first dates where they guy drank himself stupid and then got angry when I wouldn't go home with him. Sadly, this has happened more than once.

    • oh i see. while i do like have some drinks every now and again and i even wouldn't mind have a nice cocktail or 2 on a first date, i would never be so stupid lol. its understandable that you do this now!:)

  • Well I met a guy on-line once actually my last bf I took a chance and we Skyped then met he was on a social site. I guess it was how friendly he was and his honesty and looking in his eyes the trust just came, but not sure if it was like gaming stuff I could do the same

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What Guys Said 5

  • well im a guy so im not too worried to meet a girl in person. but obviously we build the trust up first and VERIFY before going further.

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    • thanks dude! by verify, i assume you also just mean a phone call or Skype or something like that?

    • yeah like check multiple social media and then maybe snapchat a video with their ID or something or Skype works too.

    • i dont know her last name and apparently she does not have Skype

  • If you feel weird, imagine how most women must feel...

    Everything he says is great, but the relevant bit starts about 1:45
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTULoJlD_V4

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    • hilarious!!

    • YES! but like he said, it takes loads more trust for a girl to meet up with guys, unless she is a weight lifter or secretly a dude, you don't have to worry about murder or rape.

  • Talking to them at length, getting to know them, judge their character as best you can. I've chatted to a few online that I just didn't like and so I didn't meet up with them.

    When you do meet them, do it in a public place where you can leave if you don't feel safe. A coffee shop or similar is best, lots of people around so they can't stab you.

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  • U can dump them anytime not like ur obliged to stick with them is it '-'

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  • Well, if Craigslist is anything, sex makes me trust them. :3

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