Why have I never beenIn a relationship?

I am 19 and in my second year at university and have never had a boyfriend. I have had sex and have been flirted with at parties and bars but no one has ever actually asked me out. Not long term or short term, just nothing. Admittedly i am a stoner ( i dont usually open with that but these are the facts) i spend most of my time with a couple of guys i met in my first year (i have girlfriends and live with 4, i just have a harder time making girl friends than guy friends... i guess thats the issue right there) anyway, i have been told im attractive and i think im fairly decent, and I've seen people take an interest in me but for some reason it just never gets to that relationship point. I try to be chill so i dont want to ask my guy friends about relationship stuff, but i spend all my time with guys and still can't figure out what it is they want...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm assuming you are not so beautiful and intelligent as to threaten and intimidate the male ego who might fear rejection. That you do not fear rejection. You look good and dress right. It is in your favor if a guy does not know that you've slept with someone he knows, I think.

    You will have to upgrade your social skills, get out of the house, and meet a broader range of guys. Don't tell anyone you smoke, never mind that everyone does. Here it is in a nutshell, and you may know all of them but forget to do it: Make appropriate smiling and eye contact. Make a list of conversational topics, build on this as you think of light conversational things, no need to be intellectual or funny. Limit what you reveal about yourself to avoid saying something you might later regret. When he speaks, nod yes or no to keep him talking and listen well. If you feel nervous take deep breaths (count 10) and lower your voice. Never complain, criticize, or utter a negative word. Smile some more. Wear a bit of red. If you feel like it, hold hands. If you can, stand so close that your shoulders rub when you stand beside him. Sitting together allow your leg or foot to rest against his. Rest a hand on his knee or thigh. Hold hands when appropriate.

    If you are dealing with a stoner you will have to take charge. Invite him to Starbucks first to scope him out. If you like him, later tell him you need or want to go somewhere, but not alone--a movie, restaurant, museum. Tell him you need his help with something he might know about, such as a class subject maybe. If a guy accepts your first invitation, you may continue. If you have a contact number use it, call him once in a while just to chat. You would flatter any unattached guy just by calling. Finally, quite smoking a few days to see whether your verbal proficiency improves.

    Otherwise, it is a numbers game. If you meet enough guys you must inevitably meet your equal Mr Right.

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    • Thanks, i guess i never really considered stepping my game up and putting myself out there more. As for quitting smoking i have no doubt it will help my anxiety around guys! Its at least worth a shot. Thanks great cornholio

What Guys Said 2

  • " I try to be chill so i don't want to ask my guy friends about relationship stuff"
    Why shouldn't you?
    If a guy is slow in asking you out, you can take a first step.

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    • Thanks for the input! I guess its just an embarrassing thing for me to talk about in person, ill work on talking to my friends about this :)

    • Take the guy apart and be bold.

  • If u hangout with guys more
    Then most of guys think u r taken so they will not approach u
    Show yourself available approach some guys u think is, cute
    And, dont appear needy
    Thats it all the, best

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    • Maybe you are right, i could see how being around guys might give off that impression! Thanks :)

    • You are welcome

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