You know that feeling, of seeing someone and thinking OMG I want him/her. No one feels that way about me. No one has ever chased after me?

I meet people everywhere, all of the time. I see guys check me out but it's really just a look or two then the continue on with what they are doing. I have dated guys but they were all weird, naive and uncomfortable relationships that had no meaning. I truly don't know what it feels like for a guy to chase after me and truly WANT me and me only. I'm almost 25 and this has been my life for 4 years. I just feel like maybe there isn't anything special about me. Maybe what guys are looking for, is not me at all. I am seriously considering just settling down with a guy who's a lot older than me, like over the 45, just to have someone, just to have a partner, just to have someone to do things with. I am SOO alone all of the time and this is how my life has always been, it's depressing and scary.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel the same as you do, but you are younger than me. And slightly older guys may not be such a bad idea. They're more attuned to what they want, and are more mature.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Based off of what I am reading, your attitude and self esteem plays a BIG role. You keep discouraging yourself, which always repels guys. You seem to have the Romeo and Juliet attitude. I am sorry to break it to you but it doesn't happen in real life. You have to just look, maybe the guy is right under your nose but you aren't recognizing it. Settling for a man al least 20 years older because your lonely is definently not the solution. Your settling because your lonely, not love. Two big differences. You have to learn to enjoy life. You have to have a positive attitude and have communication and flirting here and there. Maybe try approach guys. Your life isn't enjoyable because you aren't making it enjoyable. Don't become desperate. Right now it seems like you NEED to have a guy. See, it shouldn't be a desperate need, to the point where you would go with any man at any age. Maybe just take a break and stop looking. I find that sometimes if you stop looking, they come to you. Don't you have friends? You can watch a movie with friends and have fun. That's what they are for. All in all, just change the Disney Prince Charming mindset, raise self esteem, communicate, and enjoy life and you will be fine. Good Luck

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    • But I mean I'm not looking for anyone. I haven't looked in over 4 years and it still has not come to me that's why I feel so freaking lonely, because nobody wants me, nobody wants to date me, nobody even talks to me. I watch plenty of movies, I've travelled plenty, I have a great life, really all that's missing in my life is a guy. I always see people find their perfect match and fall head over heels for each other, but nobody seems to want that with me, I've been on many many dates, they never get anywhere, the longest guys keep in touch with me for is like a month, then they move on and find someone else, someone "better", I am the female version of Dane Cook in Good luck chuck, nobody wants to be with me.

  • feeling alone always sucks! but settling with somebody (specially somebody at least 20 years older) just because, is just as bad. im shure you are fine in every way! maybe you should just start approaching some guys...

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    • How? What if they are taken? What if I'm not their type? What if they reject me?

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    • technically you would only be to easy if you had sex with them right after you met them. just making initial contact, specially if it is somebody you see often, is absolutely fine, IMO! you can still ditch the guy if you see he's not for you after all

    • Well I like a guy but he has a girlfriend...

What Girls Said 4

  • Lol do u want guys to kneel before you or something. Have u ever thought that the reason those relationships were so uncomfortable was because u made it be so. Your concentrating on achieving that Romeo & Juliet feeling which is just unrealistic. It seems that your chasing so impatiently that you're scaring away some preys. You're NOT old so just be patient, it's not like there is an exact age which its like "yep my prince must come now or else I'm a loser".

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    • Yeah but I mean I have no one to even watch a movie with or text late at night and laugh around with have nothing

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    • Because the culture that I grew up in, isn't like that. Women are supposed to be modest and allow men to come to them that's just how I was raised and that's how my mom and my cousins and my aunts live and that's how i want to be as well. Women are delicate and supposed to act like it, not aggressive and bold and ballsy, this is how I was raised and I don't care if you think it's wrong but this is how I am.

    • It's not that I think you were raised wrong at all. If that's your beliefs and how you wanna portray yourself that is absolutely ok. But the thing is since you chose this path you've gotta walk on it and tolerate it. Assuming you live in the US, it's a country of diversity and woman approaching men are becoming more commen or sometimes the guy & girl meet each other half way. So that would be a reason why other girls are getting more attention then you, so you'll have to be more patient till ur time comes.

  • tell me about it :/ i understand you completely :/ like you could never imagine someone thinking about you all the time like I think about my crush right? :/

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    • Yes but you are also a lot younger than me. When I was your age I pictured myself to have things figured out by my age right now. I guess don't do what I did. Don't put yourself in meaningless relationships because all it will do is damage your self esteem. Don't turn down good guys with potential because your first impression of them isn't what you expected, give them a chance.

    • thanks for the advice and i really hope you find that special someone :)

  • It happens to me to much I wish it would stop don't be sad though there's someone for you

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  • First & foremost you have to learn to enjoy your life even if a guy is not in the picture. Set goals. Have fun with your family & friends. It did not work with those guys for a reason so learn from all of them. Sometimes I reflect on past romances & I realize what they did wrong & what I did wrong as well. Sometimes we repeat the same mistakes & instead of growth we fall into a pattern so try to see the part that u might play in your failed relationships. that way u dont keep making the same mistake. And again, do not rush & date anyone because you're "sooooo alone" or just tired of being single. sometimes things can go really left when we do things because we're lonely. Best to just enjoy your life as it is & keep working on being a better you :-)

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    • But my life is not enjoyable... I really don't want to go into the details of it but it's just not. I am very alone and have a very weird life. I try my hardest to cope with it but sometimes it takes a toll on me

    • You have to make it enjoyable then. I dont know if u believe in God but nothing is hard for him to fix so whatever is going on in your life He is more than able to take care of. There's so much more to life than dating. Not saying that you're suppose to be alone forever but since being single is ur reality right now u have to just make the best of it.

    • well... in many ways I have. I spend a lot of time with my family and people close to me. I have traveled to many places, I am doing well in school, I'm smart and I know what I want in life, but... I am always always always single. Almost everyone around me has found someone that they're happy with, but nobody seems to want to date me.

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