I have been dating someone for a few months now (exclusively two). Based on how men have treated me when I was in my teens, I am very insecure in relationships. I have always been treated as an object and was constantly harassed, I have been sexually assaulted twice and I have been told from people over and over again that my body is my fortune. I share all that so you have an idea of why I am insecure... I have been treated as if I don't have much to offer outside of my physical when I personally know that to be untrue, I just am insecure that if other people realize that as well...
So here are my behaviors;
I text him, give or take, one to four times a day. (all spaced out typically and with purpose). He doesn't always respond and it is getting to the point I don't even want to text him anymore because it gets my anxiety up. I have a thought and I want to complete it in conversation with him. I haven't expressed that it upsets me but it does...
I call him on nights he doesn't call me first. Just to hear his voice because I love to hear his voice. He usually calls me every other night and we talk for twenty to thirty min. s.
I initiate dates because he isn't one to make plans, things usually just happen on his end. I feel like when I ask to see him I am being needy. I see him may one to two days a week and I spend the night at least once.
I do text him good morning occasionally and/or goodnight, wishing him a good day or sweet dreams. I don't get text's back usually. Sometimes, at night, a phone call shortly after and we talk for about thirty minutes...
So am I clingy? Needy? or?
I know he does like me and want to be with me but sometimes I wonder if he is with me just because he gets lonely from time to time.
Opinions are appreciate people. Advice is appreciated.
How can I snap out of thinking about him often? I don't have a lot of friends that I enjoy to be with because I am a homebody and every one wants to party at my age...
- You are clingy20% (1)14% (1)17% (2)Vote
- You are borderline clingy0% (0)43% (3)25% (3)Vote
- I don't think he is into you60% (3)29% (2)42% (5)Vote
- Let the relationship progress at it's own pace20% (1)14% (1)16% (2)Vote
- Other explain below0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
I am looking for advice not just confirmation.
Most Helpful Guy
I think your amount of contact with him is a little too much. If I were in a relationship, I wouldn't want my girlfriend texting me 4 times a day... hardly ever. Once a day is more than enough. I doubt he even has the time to check his phone and text back each time you initiate a text.
It's normal to talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend on a daily basis, but it seems like you're pushing the contact, making it abnormal. You don't HAVE to call/text his whenever he doesn't initiate with you. Sometimes a day or two without any contact is perfectly fine. For example, if he's out having a day with his buddies, maybe he just wants to chill and hang with the guys, and is perfectly fine without any contact with you FOR THAT DAY.
It's also not a good sign that you ALWAYS initiate dates. He should be WANTING to go out with you, but if you're always initiating, then it's evident that he doesn't feel this way.
I suggest trying to focus on other parts of your life. Your boyfriend shouldn't be the ONLY thing in your life. You have to have other interests and people that you see and talk to on a regular basis. Your boyfriend should be a large component of your life, but he's still just a component. He's not your entire life.0
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