I like hanging out with this guy, but I'm not attracted to him. He asked me out again. I want to go but only as a friend. Any advice?

So there is this guy who I thought at first was only interested in friendship. I'm in my late 30s, and he's in his late 20s, so I didn't think he would try to get with me. He has given me compliments like "You're hot," but naively, I thought he was just stating his opinion, not hitting on me.

We went out one time, and I went because I thought we were only hanging out. During the date, though, he did mention that it was a date. He didn't try anything. Now, he's asking me to go with him to an event as his date, and I don't know what to do. On one hand, I enjoy spending time with him because he's sooo funny. On the other hand, I'm not attracted to him. In fact, I'm attracted to another guy who is around my age, but not a boyfriend. I don't want to lose his friendship, and I want to keep hanging out, but I don't want to string him along. What do I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly is always the best policy. Look, you know this guy has a thing for you and that is why he is asking you out. It is wrong for you to accept knowing you do not like him that way. You need to be honest with him and tell him you are simply not into him that way and you think of him as a friend only. Tell him he is a great guy, but you are simply not attracted to him romantically. Tell him if he wants to go out, that is fine, but it will be only as friends. Then you give him an exit by saying something like, "I know you wanted more from this, I am sorry it won't work out that way, I understand if you want to ask someone else."

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What Girls Said 1

  • You are definitely between a rock and a hard place with this overly friendly friend, sweetie, and with liking him just enough to want 'Only hanging out' with him, you must also be Comfy enough with him that you can actually let him know right Now, which is no better way than the presence That-----I'm not attracted to him.
    Before you go to out with him to Anymore Anything, set the record straight by being honest with him. The more you hang out, the more he he will be lead to believe that you Really are enjoying more than his company... he is blind and apparently doesn't want to See anything but a potential partnership before his eyes.
    Just level with him and explain that you like to be with him as a good friend, and before anything goes anything goes Any further, you both are not date mates but just hanging loose with no strings attached. Also tell him about your other Interest and hopefully if he still wants to continue what you are merely sharing now, it won't go down a beaten path of him him ending up with a broken nose or with a sad puppy dog face.
    Good luck... hope you won't end up in the dog house because of the misunderstanding... however, he is barking up the wrong tree in Assuming too much right away.
    And with a friend whose company you so enjoy, it could one day hit you that he has other qualities that suddenly have struck you with another certain chemistry... it had once happened to me in my life so I know that it's possible. xx

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    • "And with a friend whose company you so enjoy, it could one day hit you that he has other qualities that suddenly have struck you with another certain chemistry..."

      I was browsing through my history and saw this. You know what the funny thing is? He and I are together. I did realize that I really liked him, so I decided to give it a try. We've been together for a little over a year now, and we're planning to move in together this summer. He's an awesome boyfriend, a wonderful human being, and I am in love with him. :)

    • Wonderful, sweetie, and best of Luck and with the Question now closed, I guess too we can close this chapter now somehow. xx

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