An ex of 7 years from 4 years ago I still can't get over, what is wrong with me?

ok pls bare with me ill try to keep it short.
i dated this guy in my early 20's for 7 years the whole time we lived together. he got really heavy anxiety that dr couldn't figure out what was wrong with him due to that his anxiety got really bad he suffered for 2 years from it i stood by him the whole time we barley had sex almost never but he was sick so i still stood by him. to the point that i started to go depressed i took on to much emotions from him. so he got better and i was still depressed not recognizing it at the time. we talked about getting married bla bla. one day i came home and saw him with another girl who lived in the same building as us. i lost it and asked him why he is doing this to me. in order form him not to upset her he stood by her and told me u and i have nothing more to talk about. i packed and left. his till with her. its been 4 years now and i still cry about it. i try talking to my sis about it all she sais is its been so long let it go already. but i just can't. this 4 years i can't date cuz i push every guy away i act like a bitch to them cuz i think once another girl comes along there just gonna leave me anyways. so due to this I have no bf and I'm so lonly all i do is work and sleep sometimes i sleep for 24 hrs on days off i just can't get out of bed. i really hate my life and dreading for Christmas.
why can't i let this go its been 4yrs and i cry like it was yesterday. why can't i move on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds as if you're really angry because of what he did. You have every right to be considering he violated your relationship rules and values. He'll eventually will do the same to the new girl, if she gets too close to him. His anxiety most likely was either faked or caused intentionally to push you away. There's nothing wrong with you by the way, it's just that you are focused on him when you should be focused on you. This is called codependency behavior also your anxiety that has been unchecked and resolved lead to you doing depression. During the last 4 years your thoughts have become a self fulfilling prophesy you get what you think, you self sabotage any chance for a real relationship and subsequently you are alone and that won't change until you change how you think. The meaning you give to what happened to you, is like saying no good deed goes unpunished, truth is his infidelity makes him look bad and he will eventually pay for his infidelity. People cheat when things are good and they think they don't deserve a good person or good life. This is his self esteem problem and you did nothing wrong by being supportive, he just took you for granted and if you really want closure or revenge, then you owe it to yourself to live an extraordinary life, and in time he will be a distant memory, and if not PM me and I'll teach you something to help you overcome this trauma so you can learn to trust and love again a guy that is worthy of you, don't let one bad apple spoil you for the rest of us, there are a lot of great guys that would worship a woman of your caliber you just have to feel you deserve what you want. Shoot me a message I'll get you through this and won't ask for anything in return, I just want to help.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're in a major depression and need a Dr help

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    • but dr are so expensive, i can't afford it and my work dosnt cover that. and i my family all they say is just move on. but how do i let go of what happened. i feel like every guy is going to do the same to me. so i push them away even if i really like them.

    • what happened to if your a good person the universe will pay you back. i helped him through such a tough time and thats what i get. 4 years latery i still can't catch a break. and i see them so happy together which hurts even more.

    • Come be with me

  • If I could hug you I would and let you cry on my shoulders. I'm so sorry sweetie that your man treated you so badly. I can tell you that we are not all like that, but you need professional help. It sounds to me like you have unresolved issues that need to be dealt with and you are incapable of doing that yourself.

    Get help honey. You really can use it.

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