What is it that Nice Guys are looking for? Relationship or Sex?

I'm not exactly talking about men who are nice, I'm talking about who go on constant rants about how "it's hard finding a girl who likes a nice guy like me". I never understand why they say they want to be loved but they envy and obsess over players and pick-up artists. If they truly wanted love, wouldn't they look up to happily married men and guys in successful healthy relationships, not men who manipulate/use women for sex? Do nice guys really want a relationship of is that a lie to make themselves look better?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • girls wanting bad boys is a cliché. Similarly, boys wanting many girls is a also a cliché. Both are only partially true.

    its really a case by case thing. Even then it's different at different times. After my divorce, I was with a different woman every month. thenni realized that's not what I want. I stopped dating all together and gave myself time to heal. Now I'm with a sweet lady, whom I love. I get looks from women. I know if I want to I can have several women, but I wouldn't dream of cheating on her. I have something very special with her and I'm not going to risk it.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I will admit I am considered a "nice" guy. I am genuinely kind and I have manners to everyone not just girls. Now I won't just do what everyone tells me to do blindly like some people do. I look for a relationship and there are other guys that are too. What's wrong with having manners? Now there are "nice" guys who act "nice" and manipulate for sex and all, but what is the difference also between the guy who acts like a "bad" boy and "confident" to get a girl for sex. Either way you will always have those type of people just like you have women that are golddiggers and go to guys just for money. You shouldn't generalize these types of mindsets with every guy or girl. Unfortunately, it's true that society sees "nice" guys as deceptive and they finish last. The girls get the bad boy, which is true at some point. I have no problem with this. I can also ask why do girls ask where have the nice guy gone? I wonder why they ask that later on in their lives. There are also some nice guys that get bitter too because of this but not me. Either way I just use this to an advantage and I am happy if I am single. It will help me in my entrepreneurship journey to success and save time and trouble. The point I am making is some look for sex, some look for relationships, some look for both like any guy does. I hope this clears up this issue in society because it gets annoying sometimes, but it's good to hear it sometimes lol.

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  • Nice guys are just the poor saps who take the prevailing morality of society far more seriously than other people do. The bitterness of nice guys, and the bitterness that they receive from their critics, are an illustration of the messed-up situation that must exist when a society's professed morality is in fundamental conflict with the objective requirements of human life. Cue bitterness, anger, guilt, etc, all around.

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    • WOW that is sweet. You must be quite a catch!

    • Show All
    • @Temporary37 On the contrary, if you were to think about it, you would probably be broken up if your girlfriend, for example, were to say to you, "I'm not with you because you make me happy. You don't. I am with you because I feel sorry for you, and because it is my duty to sacrifice my happiness for you".

    • Isn't it dangerous to mix drugs & alcohol?

  • They want relationships, however the girls they want relationships with want nothing to do with them.

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  • "Nice Guys" are just socially awkward and they try to compensate by being a door mat for others. They painfully try to convince a woman to be intimate with them using logic instead of providing value with emotions and excitement, as well as their own confidence (or lack thereof.)

    All "Nice Guys" want is to have some attention at the very least, acknowledgement for their efforts. But they also need to know that their mindset isn't working.

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  • Lol depends on the guy. Generally, they are probably looking for a relationship but maybe some sex along the way too

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  • Some want both, some want one or the other, and some want neither.

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  • its both you can't have one without the other

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  • Depends on the guy.

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  • Being a Virgin myself I'm looking for a relationship

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  • I know what you're saying but only half agree, by the way Im one of those guys who complain about girls not liking us. You are certainly correct about the phoney baloneys who try to charm or woo girls. Another word might be manipulate. They may or may not be easy to spot but it has to hurt if you fall for one. There are people (guys & girls) who were raised to adhere to some very basic manners and it shows in their behavior. How sincere they are is something we must judge on our own. Clearly some are genuinely good natured and their manners and words are appreciated but some are devious or at least seem to be and that is where our judgement is crucial. Yes it bugs me when the smooth talker goes home with my crush and I go home with my good manners. It Sucks! Knowing who's good and who;s bad is extremely difficult. A bad decision can be devastating. But thats a learning experience too.

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  • How would they know? They seem to just be seeking acceptance. It sounds like they're working awfully hard and getting no respect. That's why I let girls work for me. It's more rewarding.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like you've pretty much made up your mind on this one so just ignore them

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    • Wow, thank for not answering the question with your false wisdom.

    • well if you have a preconceived notion that "nice" is always a phoney put on than you will be always suspicious of good behavior or mannners. It''s a judgement thing. Sometimes it is genuine and sometimes it is not. Let me try to give you an example from another perspective. Shy people are often mistaken for being conceited or disinterested. Usually that is not the case, but their lack of participation makes us swear that they're stuck up. I have been guilty of errors on both sides. I've judged harshly people who turned out to be OK and trusted people who turned out to be creeps. Figuring out who's good and who's bad is hard work and usually once or twice in life our judgement fails us and we're hurt. Don't let the hurt from the past cloud your judgement today. Look hard at the behaviors you question and go from there. You are young and still learning.
      Don't let the fear of being hurt keep you from taking a chance when you're just not sure about someone.

    • It was a pretty good answer.

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