I guess the kind of girl I have been dreaming about doesn't exist?

hello, i'm 19 years old and never had a girlfriend, i'm too romantic i guess? my kind of date is just me and the girl i love, in my bed at Christmas time, looking at the stars and the snow outside and just cuddling... that's too romantic isn't it?
So i met this girl on badoo (dating app) she likes good musique, sport and video games, i've been spoking with her and got to know her hobies, what she was doing later and since she was asking me what i was doing when i didn't start another conversation i guess it was because she was interested a bit, so i got really happy, i was more happy than ever at my job. Before i got to work (i work at night) i told her i had to go to work and i'd talk to her later with a smileyface, she said *kisses, see you tomorow xxxx :)* when i saw this, you can tell i was REALLY happy. but then the next day, i asked her what she was doing after we spoek abit and she said she was bored and a guy cancelled the date few minutes before. I said i was sorry and that wasn't nice of him, then i invited her to go take a cofee and she said now? haha? i said no haha, when are you free? she said she didn't know so i asked her what about tomorow? she said she can't so i said *well i guess you're not interested, you seem like a really nice person with a lot of good qualities that i would have liked to discover, i can already tell that you are really nice and sweet, you don't care about people religion skin color or anything :) she said it wasn't because she wasn't interested but because she wanted to do something today... HOW COULD I KNOW? so i said oh okay, well i would have invited you today to a starbucks but i trought you wanted some time for yourself because of that guy. she didn't reply for a few hours then replied saying she forgot to press send on the message she wrote me. then she went to bed and said good night xxx. (she never message me first by the way, even tho she's always online on Badoo)


Most Helpful Girl

  • In your defense, if I was talking to a guy and he said all of those things to me, I would assume he wasn't interested either. Especially if they brought up the fact that they were going to go on a date with somebody else. And about what the anonymous person said about her ignoring you if she wasn't interested, that really depends on the person. I carry on several online conversations with guys I'm not interested in, because I just try to be nice to people. I don't think you jumped down her throat or anything, but you may have come off as clingy, but there's always room for trial and error. Plus you're nineteen, you'll have plenty more opportunities to talk to other girls if it doesn't work out with this one.


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What Girls Said 3

  • You seem like a nice, grounded guy. That's good!
    But girls just wanna have fun (cliche) :)
    Go easy, date around and look for fun, a little sex, and show her you're a guy in waiting for the right girl.

    to be honest you would probably scare me off right away as too needy.
    Girls as a rule do not look for needy guys, at least at first. Needy can indicate insecurity.
    Also you do seem a bit self centered. Yeah I know so are girls our age, because I'm your age.
    Make it all about the girl and trust me you will be hitting more home runs than any guy you knows.
    Girls like to be loved, and love to be liked. That's me anyway.

    • You are right, but i'm not that self centered, i think more about other peoples than myself all the time, wich is bad. I almost got on a date with a girl and she cancelled the day before saying she forgot it, same thing with the second girl. So i got insecure :l This girl i'm speaking to right now, i invited her, yes i did it, and she said i'll tell you on Monday :) she seem interested but she never message me first even tho she's online all the time ): so i don't know what that means really... she said she wanted to meet me too... maybe she wanted to be nice? help :l

  • I've never had a boyfriend either but that's just because I'm ugly haha :) I can understand where she's coming from but I understand your reaction as well. I think if you really like her just send her a message apologizing the way you acted earlier and that you'd really like to meet her :)

    • You are not ugly at all, everyone is beauthiful but we all have our own type... i want to... but i guess i already fucked up ): there is so much hotter guys on that app... i'm not even good looking myself, i mean not enough for these girls?

  • you came across very judgmental and clingy, all she said was she was busy that day and you jumped down her throat with a passive aggressive message ending things because she couldnt go. she would tell you or ignore you if she wasn't interested. then you sent another passive aggressive text message sulking about the other guy.

    • You are right, at this point i can say i always fuck up on everything, i always make mistake even tho that is how you learn. I hate my life, but i keep thinking one day something will make me happy, but this *one day* is never comming close, so during that time i'm hurt everyday, i'm have a fake smile everywhere i go, i just can't take anything anymore :l i thank you for taking you're time to write this, i'm a stranger you know.

What Guys Said 3

  • Never jump down a girl's throat if she says she's busy... it comes across as desperate and clingy. If i ask a girl out, and she doesn't respond, i leave it and let her text me first. If she doesn't, i'll ask a few days later as though i never asked the first time.

    I did that last week with this girl: asked her out, she said she was busy on the day i wanted to see her, i changed the date, she didn't respond. I thought there wasn't a date, and found out today that the date is on. If i jumped down her throat because she didn't respond, or because she was busy, that would've been the end of it before it even began.

  • Don't overreact, don't overthink, don't worry, don't get anxious.

    I first got into a relationship when I was 21, I was always rejected before. I'm doing okay now. So don't worry.
    Just don't overthink it. And try to meet people in the real world.

  • You will die alone. Good luck with this.