How do I tell him he hurt my feelings by forgetting our plans?

So been seeing this guy for a month, we've slept together & spent every weekend together but this week I've been super hormonal & started to really like him. He's been a bit more off than normal but I thought that was due to my hormones, but we still snapchat everyday. Anyway, we were supposed to go out tonight, but he never mentioned it. So I text him asking if we were still on & he said he forgot & he's having friends over to watch football. So I haven't said anything back, but tomorrow I want to tell him I'm upset he forgot our plans. I just need help wording it without sounding needy or aggressive. So can somebody help me write a text to him. So far I have "Hey, I wanted to talk to you, about last night. It kinda upset me"... I don't know what else to say or how to end the message.

So please can you help me write it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well IMHO you have a few options:

    1) you can go the "hey I don't want to be needy route" which ultimately is a good way to get run over time and again

    or

    2) you can go the "respectful but firm route" which might mean he walks away, but is probably the better route to make sure you don't get disrespected. If you can't respect yourself, how do you expect anyone else to respect you.

    So if i was going with route 2 (which I would) i would not text him, I would call him. And I was say that you really enjoy his company (or whatever words you want to use) and you are glad he got to hang out with friends last night, BUT you take your time seriously and do not like it wasted, just as you wouldn't waste his either. So in the future if the two of you make plans you expect him to either follow through or pay you the courtesy of letting you know (AHEAD OF TIME) if they need to change. You will promise to do the same for him.

    Now he might get bent out of shape over that, but if he can't pay you respect as something as basic as your time, how can you expect him to pay you respect over even deeper things.

    Best wishes!

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    • Thank you for this! I changed my mind & I'm calling him tomorrow & explaining everything you said. It's not okay & I do get walked all over by men, I just get afraid of loosing them, so try not to act needy. But there's nothing needy in demanding respect & not accepting when somebody doesn't do what they say they will. Thank you so much!

    • That is exactly right. LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY. I am going to repeat this again... IF YOU CANNOT LOVE AND RESPECT YOURSELF, how can you expect someone else to do the same? And yes that means that there are going to be many people that perhaps walk away. SO WHAT? It is better to be alone and happy, then with someone and miserable.

      Well done. Forgive me for saying this, but I am proud of you. Hopefully he just was a little clueless says sorry and doesn't do it again, but if not, then pat yourself on the back for standing up. You figured him out and now you can move on.

    • Good answer! Not just good, but a wise one.

What Guys Said 1

  • "That hurt my feelings."

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What Girls Said 3

  • Just say you are disappointed or say nothing and ignore him.

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  • just say it on his face because when they text they can be really rude. when you meet with him just say "please never ever forget when we arreange smo. "

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  • That's when you give him the cold shoulder lol.

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