I am unbelievably picky when it comes to the opposite sex. I nitpick at EVERYTHING, especially looks, education and social status & I wanna change?

I am 23 & have been single for over two years & yes I obviously know why that is. Because I am VERY picky! I pick at a guy's looks, education, what he does, what his parents do, what type of family he comes from, where he likes to hang out, how he speaks (really I do), if I dont like the way a guy talks, I pass. I am like constantly eliminating guys cause I am constantly picking at everything that I believe is wrong with them! Now I sometimes think to myself and ask "well who am I to be judging them?" but then right away I have an answer, & I think " Well I guess if I were to be their potential partner, I should have a lot of say", but I mean again, I eliminate everyone before it even gets to the point of stable dating. Its really the first encounter that does it for me. I really can't go into why & how I got to this place its a combination of many things, my past relationships, extreme pressure from my family in finding someone "perfect", & just personal preferences too. I dont wanna be like this anymore because I know that I am pushing away guys & I could end up being alone for a long time but I can't HELP IT!!! just when I think I like someone, I'm like "oooh wait no u studied Music Theory..." or "Oh I can't be with a guy who drives a shittier car than me" or "Nope it's not going to work, u spend all ur weekends at music festivals" just on & on & on about things that I think are deal-breakers and I have reasons for all of them and I think are legitimate, for example: the whole 'the way a guy talks thing' I always think of the nightmares of having to introduce him to my family & even worse having to put with someone who says things like "ooh kill em" you know? or the car thing honestly I have nothing against a 'shitty' car but I've dated guys who didn't drive a car as nice as mine and honestly they're the ones who get insecure and take it out on me in other ways... I know my reasons make sense to me but they obviously have not helped me since I am single & alone.


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Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 7

  • I used to do that. I woud always have a reason why a girl would not be my type. I realized that I was just making up excuses to not have to go and talk to her. You should think to yourself if your reasons are legit.

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  • Yea, your really picky and at this rate your gonna even filter out the gold. You shouldn't judge men at what they have and finance and all that much. People change better or worse. People go up and down the ladder. Just because they have a "sh*tty car it doesn't mean they don't have wealth. I like to stay low and not flash wealth, never judge a book by its cover. The "perfect Romeo/Prince Charming" is a lie and you will never find him. That is a big issue to the pickiness. That's good though that you want to change. I am happy to hear that. I would say take it easy and look at personality and not immediately judge on what they do. For example, Mark Zuckerberg was a computer programmer. Typically it's seen as nerdy or boring but it pays good $ and he became a multibillionaire. I am not saying to judge the jobs based off of pay. Believe it or not, a lot of girls are like this. But it's become so bad in western society. It's quality that matters, not quantity. These things such as the car and the other things are bonuses. They don't last forever like looks. Eventually they depreciate or change. Personality is definently important. The point I am making is try to give things a try.

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  • It's difficult enough finding someone that you are compatible with when you merely want someone that is going to stick around and care about you.

    With the list of deal breakers you have, I hope for your sake that you are the complete package yourself.

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    • I think I care more about quantity than quality. I would much rather have a guy who looks great on paper and in person than a guy who genuinely cares about me. I actually don't even think about that stuff.

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    • What? Guys don't care about wom... wait, what? I feel like I'm getting trolled now. I genuinely wish you good luck in finding your perfect man. Let's leave it at that.

    • Men don't really care for women lol
      They just want women for sex and to take care of them like clean and cook and take care of their home and stuff like that.

  • You probably filter out a lot of losers like that.

    You also probably filter out a lot of diamonds in the rough.

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  • I know what you're talkin about.5 years ago i was like you. Yes YOU. Picky about how a girl walks her stance and how she plays with her hair, how many times she blinks everytime i see or spot her with her friends. And ultimately how she chews and drinks, but again yeah some flaws either make the person who they are or make the person your worse nightmare.

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  • nothing wrong in being sallow

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  • Oh shut up. You are normal.

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    • am I really? Honestly, I always feel so guilty but the way that I think and think that I'm being too judgmental

    • Yes, you're normal.

What Girls Said 1

  • Focus on the things that are most important to you, and give a chance to guys who meet that criteria. Definitely at least more than one date. Also, do what you can to make sure you're also a good catch to the guys you want to date.

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