How forward should a guy be about his accomplishments?

I have what most people call 'an extremely overachieving' and 'impressive' set of accomplishments. I know that, in the past, I have been really forward (after all, what I do/did is a huge part of who I am) in many conversations in general. After a few eye opening experiences I have been working on modesty. My experience, however, is rather limited when it comes to dating. And so my question is, when talking to a girl (for the first time) how modest should a guy be about what he has accomplished?

  • He should talk about his most serious accomplishments
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
  • He should talk only about the most recent a complements
    25% (1)0% (0)14% (1)Vote
  • He should ask questions and not talk about himself
    50% (2)67% (2)57% (4)Vote
  • He should be forward about his accomplishments
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
  • He should be modest (water them down) about his accomplishments
    25% (1)33% (1)29% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I picked C, but I didn't mean don't talk about yourself. Just, don't volunteer information about your accomplishments. Let her ask questions, and as you answer, they'll be revealed. Focus more on asking her questions about herself, and getting to know her. The key thing is to make sure you're not hijacking the conversation and talking about yourself for long stretches of time, or appearing as if you're reading her your resume/boasting. That puts off girls very quickly.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think its great that you have a lot of great achievements. Im pretty sure u work hard for it & your happy about it but it might come across as arrogant, conceited, showoff even if u dont intend for it to be that way. I voted for C (He should ask questions not talk about himself) because when Im getting to know a guy I dont wanna feel like Im doing an interview or as if he's a salesman. I just want the convo to flow. I dont even want it to feel like a q&a session. Im kinda an overachiever myself & I would love for guys to acknowledge things like the high GPA I work hard for so I do understand where you're coming from but no worries down the line your achievements can naturally makes its entrance. Good luck and keep working hard to achieve your dreams/goals.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Why are you talking about yourself? Talk about her, first of all. If she feels like you are relating to *her* she'll think of it as a good date.

    And when you do talk about yourself (as you sometimes will have to), be humble. She's dating a human, not a resume, and you don't want to make her feel inadequate or judged. If she asks, don't brag, just matter of fact mention it in a non-assuming way and move on from it.

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    • Not sure if that's your downvote, but let me clarify: you need to come across as attainable. If you present yourself as "perfection" it puts pressure on her AND it makes it impossible to relate to you! People can't relate to perfection because people aren't perfect. So if you make a list of how great you are, it can be alienating. You have to present enough to show you aren't some bum with no ambition, but you can't blow her out of the water. Be humble whenever you talk about yourself.

  • I don't tell a girl everything about myself to begin with. You should be asking her about her things. I've been international representative and state champion in two different endeavours. If you wanna chat me private go ahead I can compare notes. If it comes up naturally in conversation (i. e. she asked) then sure go for it. (For example she asked me if I read much, my answer wasn't simply "yes")

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  • I understand where you are coming from. I get confused on this too. I think it is normal to talk about such things and i also have a fair sized list of accomplishments. many people will call you arrogant. I dont understand because i am just talking about things i have done or achieved but somehow they get put off. i think it should be normal but a lot of people don't.

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