I am 17 and he's 30?

is that too big of an age difference to date? i mean we really hit it off and we like each other a lot.


0|0
28|31

Most Helpful Girl

  • Go for it. I like mature guys they usually are better than college boys. If you really really love him then age won't matter. Plus I think that 13 years isn't much of an age difference. Good luck.

    2|2
    10|9
    • thank you so much love, honestly thats just what i needed. x

    • Show All
    • I wouldn't advise It. I KNOW from personal experience. I was around that age and did the same thing. Men that age dating someone that young have ISSUES. There's a reason they aren't dating someone their own age. Don't do it. They're sweet at first, but there's usually an ulterior motive.

    • To be honest, the man is being very inconsiderate to the young lady he's agreeing to date. An adult man who is dating a younger girl, is essentially taking away her good years for his own benefit. His benefits are far greater than hers. For example, he's dating someone young, attractive. He'd have bragging rights. He's winning all around.

      On her end it's quite the opposite. people would generally disapprove of the relationship, it will bring ridicule, and in many cases of relationships like this, the girl becomes more isolated. Not to mention, in a way it forces the girl to have to grow up to that level, and seventeen is far too early to 'be' thirty. Just remember, when you date a guy, you are also dating his circumstances, family, job, past history, etc. Those are all factors to consider.

What Guys Said 31

  • You know you're trolling, right?

    6|7
    0|1
  • You're still in school and he is not. This is going to limit you in the long term. You're also likely to just end up being treated like his daughter that he has "fun" with so he's going to have full control over you and it won't be good. He's likely just interested in your looks and sexual aspects. Plus while you may think it's great that he has "life experience" he's gonna know everything to say to make you like him and it will not be genuine. You're nowhere near as "mature" as him. I'd avoid it.

    3|0
    0|0
  • I'm going to laugh when you'll just be manipulated into sex and thrown away after like 5 months. You are 56% of his age, and the age difference between you is 76% of your current age. You have NOTHING in common.

    Of course, maybe I should just be a slight bit less pessimistic or something, but that would just be unrealistic.

    4|1
    0|0
    • I completely agree with this. The only thing they'd have in common is the lies he'll tell her to get her into bed. Not to mention, OF COURSE a thirty year old guy wants to date a teen. It's bragging rights on his end.

  • "We really hit it off" = "He gave me money"

    2|7
    0|0
    • Wow, please be more of an asshole.

  • You have zero in common with a 30 yr old. The difference emotionally and physically is like night and day. The only reason a 30 yr old man would want to be with a 17 yr old girl is sex. It is an ego boost for him. He he might pretend to have things in common but he cannot relate to anything that you find interesting.
    on top of that he can also go to jail for rape. regardless what the age of consent, if you are not 18 and someone reports it, and they get the wrong prosecuting attorney, they can go after him.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Good point. It's too easy for a 30 year old to impress a teen. He may have a new car, good job, plenty of disposable income, even own his own home. WOW, why bother meeting a woman your own level when you can rob the cradle and get away with it! Yes she doesn't even meet the age of consent in the U. S.

      Of course this girl is determined to hear what she wants to hear. She will ignore the negatives and feed on the positive responses.

      I can remember when I was 17, back when I knew everything!
      😆

    • Show All
    • Well there are always exceptions to the rule. So good luck..

    • Yes they could be an exception. The only thing we knew about this young lady is the question she asked and 2 short sentences. That is all we had to go on. How can anyone generate a substantial opinion from so little information.

      "I am 17 and he's 30?
      is that too big of an age difference to date? i mean we really hit it off and we like each other a lot."

      Truthfully I hope that I am wrong. I can live with her displeasure at my remarks if this instead blossoms into a lifelong happy relationship. However with such an age disparity the odds are stacked against them.

      I'm not going to add any more to this. There are enough responses that already concur with what we have all surmised.

  • As long as it's legal in your state, do it. I'd say do it anyway, but he could get in serious trouble if someone found out that you were together. If he were convicted, he would have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

    That said, I think that relationships like that can work very well. I'm 21, and the girls who seem to really like me are all much younger than me. The problem is that I can't date them because they're all in high school. Younger girls seem to look up to me in a way, whereas girls my age just tend to look for my flaws. Good luck :-)

    1|0
    1|1
  • Your both in very different life stages. That saying "age doesn't matter" is over played. It doesn't apply in every instance, and it's unlikely to apply in this one.

    2|1
    0|1
    • considering i dont like doing most people my age do we really aren't in different stages. I mean we met through our hobbies, and thats how we got along. Age wasn't really a concern until we actually thought about it.

    • Maybe you're the exception but I doubt it. He's almost twice your age and has double the life experience- two completely different generations. I'm just being honest.

      Never the less, if you're interested in dating him, by all means, date him. It's your life and you're only given one. You should never waste it living according to what others say or think.

    • well thank you x

  • I hope this is a troll.

    If it's not, well... what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

    3|0
    5|4
    • um? seriously? i honestly dont understand why you had to be so rude, i was just trying to find some advice. There are so many older men that date younger girls and have even bigger age gaps, so i dont really see what the problem is.

    • Show All
    • Somebody's seen Billy Madison quite a few times... Don't feel bad girl.

    • I applaud you!!

  • I think it really depends on your maturity levels, but I can understand why it might raise an eyebrow with some. I cannot imagine dating a 17 year old, but that's just me. I knew of a couple who were married for around 40 years, and when they met they were of similar ages to yourself and this guy you like. So it can work. Go for it if that's what you want, but take on board the advice that has been given to you here.

    1|0
    0|0
  • in here if you are 18 you can do whatever you want but you're also responsible for everything you do.
    my oppinion is to wait till 18 and think twice and if you still believe it's the right decision good luck

    1|0
    0|0
  • Wait until after your 18th birthday for legal reasons. I understand that 17 year olds can prove themselves to be more mature than 21 year olds in certain circumstances. But the law can get you and especially this guy in trouble. I'm almost 30, and personally I wouldn't get in a romantic relationship with a girl younger than 22, although I would consider have a fling with a girl who is at least 18.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It might cause problems. Most relationships have potential problem areas.

    Are you in college? What's your dating experience like?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I have had many serious relationship, and yeah i am in college

    • If you were in high school it would be highly eyebrow raising. Not that odd for a 30 year old to date someone in college, it can cause issues, but if you were 21 in college, wouldn't be much different.

      If you were inexperienced might be more awkward. 30 year olds don't typically want a high-school pace relationship, so you sort of need to be ready for a 30 year old's pace, but sounds like you are.

      Like most relationships, odds that it lasts forever are low but non zero. Beyond that? It's the relationship you have, not the relationship the average 17 year old and 30 year old would have. Have fun.

  • Well... Assuming he is not a pedophile... Or into you cause you a fresh piece of meat ( young and hot) I'd say go for it. You are going to faces lot of social obstaclea, but love is love and we have no right to object what is that is not mine. But really... How long have you known him? I'm bias... But seriously...

    0|0
    0|0
  • 17 and 30... That's quite an age gap. I don't think you realize just how much, or what you're getting yourself into, to be quite honest. At his point in life, he should be married, have children, be a home owner with a career, things like that. You're just barely gonna be graduated high school, at the most. You 2 are at completely separate stages of your lives. Not to mention, 13 years? Woah, I'm not being negative here, but that's kind of a lot. He was in middle school while you were in diapers. But, its y'all's decision ultimately. Wish you the best.

    0|0
    0|1
  • Lool. He's 30, ur 17? He got a BMW and a house at Atlantic city? Grils are so weird sometimes. If u like the guy go for it, in my opinion it's a big misstake. When u turn 25 he'll be what? 38? When you turn 30, he'll be 43. Lol. Again, if he got money and u like that kind of stuff go for it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Enjoy his mid life crisis lol

    1|1
    1|0
  • if you're above the age of consent then it's fine

    0|1
    1|0
    • the age of consent here in australia is 16

    • Show All
    • age of consent has not mattered in many areas. Outside of the USA they take it more serious. but int he USA men have been sent to jail if the girl is under 18. age of consent is a joke in the US.

    • There's an exception if the adult is in a position of power (teachers, police, doctors, etc).

  • THERE ARE TWO THINGS WHICH MAY HAPPEN...

    1.) at some point you will realize that you want to explore more as you are just 17... way to young...

    2.) you will at some point wish you had a partner around your age...(trust me on this one)

    but if you truly love him then go for it

    0|0
    0|0
  • Go for it. Just go for it.

    1|0
    0|1
  • He's almost twice your age. He's almost old enough to be your dad. I'm typically not too concerned with age. My sister is married to someone a lot older than herself. But a 13 year difference is really pushing it...

    1|0
    0|0
    • how is it pushing it? I know people who have bigger than that and have been together for more than 40 years!

    • "Pushing it" is not the same as "can not be enjoyable".

  • i wouldn't pursue it. whats a 30 year old doing trying to date a 17 year old? trying to relive his glory days?
    im sure you can find someone thats more closer to your age and is mature.

    1|0
    0|0
    • We both didn't know how old we were until recently. So our intentions were to have a relationship.

  • I think it's too much, it would be different when you are 27 and he is 40 for exmpla but now it's too much

    0|1
    0|0
  • This relationship won't lead to anything good. Its meaningless and based just on sex.

    0|1
    0|0
    • How is it just based on sex? neither of us have even thought about it. We only recently found out each others age, and before that we really hit it off. We always did gigs in the pubs.

  • Yeah that's to big of an age difference

    1|0
    0|0
  • Age doesn't really matter as long as y'all really into each other. But there will be people that's gonna backlash against y'all

    0|0
    0|1
    • already started with all the people below

    • Show All
    • Well in that case, everything should be good to go :)

    • thank you x

  • Guess what!!! He's only using you to boost up his self esteem. FACT!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Matching of Physical appearence is a matter not age.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well, you should be okay your about the age of consent i was 13 years older than this girl i used hang out with

    0|0
    0|0
  • Go for it. Don't listen to anyone else. Life is too short. And if it doesn't work out then take it as a learning experience.

    1|0
    2|0
  • My girl is 17 years younger than me. We click like nothing I've ever experienced. We finish each others comments, think the same way, have the same interests. Yes, at first I think it bothered me more than it did her, but as we dated more and more we fell in love and she's now become my second true love. My first passed away. This girl is my whole world and although we are engaged to be married we've not set a date. Something that gets in the way however is her era and being friends with so many guys. It's a bit intimidating and can sometimes spark some jealousy on my part. I do wonder sometimes if I don't love her more than she loves me, but maybe that's just the age thing too. With that said, you are 17 which makes you a minor so before you do anything with this guy make sure you've turned 18 at least. It could cause some issues for him that can be avoided. Aside from that I say go for it. Good luck.

    1|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    1

What Girls Said 27

  • He's just gonna use you for sex. If you're fine with that, go ahead. This big of an age gap, and you're nothing but a young vagina to him.
    Girls like you are young and dumb and easy to manipulate. This is why he's with a teen in high school as opposed to an adult woman in a career around his age.

    So if you're fine with just being young pussy to him, go ahead. But you have been warned little lady.

    1|1
    0|0
  • If you really seriously know what you're getting into, no one's going to stop you or tell you what's going to go wrong... It's your business.

    1|0
    1|0
  • Nope. it's fine people like different shit. I don't like men my age or younger I'm 26. I been dealing with a guy who is 43 for years sometimes you just like to go for old.. "DO YOU" ;-)

    1|0
    0|1
  • Yes that's too big of an age difference. If a 30 year old can get along with a 17 year old in the way that a relationship would require he has some serious detriments.

    2|1
    0|1
    • How so? I have experienced way more than a 30 year old. But because i am 17 he has to have issues to want to date me? Age wasn't even a concern until we actually found out how old we both were. We met through our hobbies and hit it off so greatly. So i can't be with someone who makes me happy because of an age gap?

    • Show All
    • I'm not saying you haven't had hardships.

      You just haven't realized yet that everyone has. You, along with everyone else have the right to be happy. I don't dispute that. But it's worrisome how painfully easy it is for a 30 year old to take advantage of a 17 year old. All he has to do is say "Wow you're really mature for your age!" and it's like music to a teenager's ears.

      Putty in the palm of his hand. Clearly you're not going to change your mind (which kind of makes me curious why you'd even fuckin' ask) so please tread carefully because it's very very very easy for someone with his age/experience to manipulate someone like you

    • someone like me? you make it seem like you know me. I asked this question because i was genuinely curious. Yes everyone has had hardships, at no point did i say they didn't. But for someone who doesn't even know who i am to tell me that i can't be with some one is ridiculous. Mind you neither of us knew each others age until recently. We both thought we were around each others age, as i do look a lot and older and he looks a lot more younger. There is nothing wrong with me or him, but geez for two people to have feelings for each other it will never be right unless, the status of each others weight, age and height. You can never win. But i won't deny my happiness and thanks for your opinion.

  • Mm, it depends. I did something similar (I'm 18, he's 33... We aren't together anymore but it was interesting while it lasted) so I say that if it feels right, by all means go ahead and do it. The problem with me and the guy I dated though was that I'm really close to my family and respect their judgement, but they don't want me dating anyone more than 4 years older than me, so I had to keep my relationship secret. That eventually didn't work out so we just kind of drifted into friendship.
    Just keep in mind your circumstances and how you two relate to each other, especially if there's someone who you know will strongly disapprove. If I recall correctly he can be charged with statutory rape because you're under 18 and he's over 4 years older than you. Otherwise, follow your heart.

    0|0
    0|0
  • 13 age difference not that big. But you are younger than 18 so it doesn't sound good to me. If you were older than 18 , i could say "go for it"

    1|0
    0|0
  • Ewwwwwwwww. Yes, the age difference is too big.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Let me put it simple: Yes. Yes, it is. It's not only a big diffrence, it's a HUGE age gap. Ask yourself - He's a grown man in his 30's and you are a teenage girl in your 17's. What could he possibly see in you that he cannot find in a woman that is same age as he? He probably screams 'WRONG' if he cannot attract a person his own age and goes for a teenager. He probably wants to use you in some way and he will say anything you want to hear to make you believe otherwise. And if you are asking a question like this than I assume you are not so sure if this right yourself. So listen to your intuition, there is nothing a man his age could offer to you.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'm 19 and my guys 30.
    That said, 19 is older than it sounds than 17.
    Also, he has been a family friend for like 10 years so there are some differences.

    Just be careful if there is any sexual contact. If you get pregnant, some states might choose to press charges against him.

    Big question. Do your parents know about this?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I want to date older guys in the future, I'm 18 but the highest I'd probably go is 20 and then stop there. But if you really love that person and want to be with them for the rest of your life then go for it. I still think that's a big age difference but then if that's what you want then go for it.

    0|0
    0|1
  • I think that it's too big of an age difference. You have to keep in mind that you are still a minor in the eyes of the law. There are also a lot of guys who there who purposely go after younger girls because they see it more as a game. Even though you may disagree with me, I can pretty much assure you that the two of you are different maturities.

    0|1
    0|0
  • there must be something wrong with the guy if he can't get a girl his own age and he's dating a teenager

    1|2
    0|0
    • Absolutely, but our girl here knows more than the rest of us. After all she is a whole 17 years old!

    • Show All
    • you all can seriously go fuck your selfs.

    • Well, why bother asking GAGers if you KNEW you were going to get replies you won't agree with it? This is why I think the asker is a troll.

  • It's worth trying!

    I was 19 and dated someone who was 33 years old. It didn't work out later on, but it was a good experience. :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • NOOOOOOO!!!

    2|0
    0|1
    • nooo? as in nooo dont worry or noo age gap is too big?

    • Haha no as in don't date him

      It really is a big age difference.

    • but does age really matter? i mean we hit it off so great. This could well and truly be the guy i could spend the rest of my life with but, i shouldn't because of 10 years?

  • Too big of an age difference. Wait til you're older.

    0|0
    0|0
  • When i was 16 i was with a man 30, i felt crazy but we had a better connection than boys my age. And he was attractive so i didn't feel to bad lol if that makes sense.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You dont know is he Love?
    A wrong relationship

    2|0
    0|1
  • Troll a little harder, will ya?

    0|0
    0|0
    • thank you! you know being a bitch won't get you very far.

    • @normal_dude grow the fuck up and stop stalking my profile. You're defending her because you're a creep just like her bf.

  • When are you turning 18?

    0|0
    0|1
  • Two words: statutory rape.

    0|1
    0|0
  • That's way too much , You're still in school or just getting out. This is a full grown man , Who has lived. I dated a guy older when I was around your age , Not as old as he. And a lot of times , I believe they think they can parent you in a way , I didn't like it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I see no problem with it. My parents are 10 years apart & happily married! Just make sure you're happy & safe.

    1|0
    0|1
  • Don't do it!!! I'm telling you that any man who is dating a 17 year old is immature. A grown man won't have anything in common with you. Trust me. I have family member doing it and I told her to leave him cause unless she has no ambitions or care for herself she's just ruining her life. He has nothing to offer a grown woman so he uses what he does know about women to charm younger girls who are so enamored with how he treats them. It's because he's older so he's been around. Don't listen to girls who say to do it. Older men are okay but only after you've hit at least 28 years old yourself.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Well age doesn't matter, if you're in love and he's a good person then just keep going!

    1|0
    0|1
    • Another example of self delusion coming from people with sooo much experience.

    • please fatherknowsbest just go have fun with your right hand.

  • Yes, it's pretty gross. What do you even think he want's with a 17 year old?

    1|0
    1|2
    • he didn't even know i was 17 until recently. Please dont be shallow, and just consider the circumstances for a second before you comment again.

    • Shallowness is about appearance. He dates a 17 year old, you are not even out of your teen years yet, and he have been for a long time - you could be in 10th grade for gods sake! That is disgusting he want's to be with someone that young.

  • What matters most is that you like each other a lot so why bother? I am 20 and my boyfriends 39. We started dating when I was only 18 and he was 37. Now, we have bigger age gap than yours, what do you say? As long as you both know your limitations.
    It's working just the way we both want it. He makes me so happy like he's the best thing that ever happened to me and he's my first boyfriend, hopefully my last. I'm so picky and he's got every quality I want in a man. I would say I prefer to date a man than a boy who knew nothing else to do than being such a jerk, don't even know what he wants. Don't worry about age gap. If you're happy then go for it.

    2|1
    1|0
    • thank you so much, if i could choose most helpful opinion i would choose you instead!

    • You are welcome. I knew you needed this right now. I just have a question. How often do you and boyfriend see each other?

  • You would have to be very mature for your age or him be really immature.

    0|1
    0|1
    • i am really mature for my age, but its not even that we have such a great time with eachother

    • Show All
    • Just take things slowly then and don't rush into anything

    • thanks hun x

Loading...