He seems distant, what to do?

I've been seeing a guy for about three months. We have different schedules however and lately we have only been seeing eachother once a week at most because of it. The first two months Jace texted me pretty much every day, he always beat me to it, and we could text for hours once we started.

I met his family, friends and colleagues pretty early. He's been talking about me with them and his boss, even showing pictures of me lol. He's the first person I think of when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep. We aren't in a relationship, he wants me to spend Christmas with him though.

The thing is that it's been two weeks since we last saw eachother and we don't text as much as we used to. I miss him like crazy, which I've told him and he told me he misses me too.

Nowadays we pretty much take turns on who texts first, and sometimes when I do he seems really distant so I always cut it short. I hate texting first because I always feel like I'm disturbing him. But then whenever we see eachother we have the best time; he is showering me with compliments, we tease, laugh a lot, kiss a lot and so on. I'm still a bit worried about the texting since it's (unfortunately) a big part of it, or us.

Why is he being distant? Or am I reading too much into it?
I think the whole thing about us not being in a relationship yet is making me uncertain about how he feels, even though he already told me he wants a relationship and that he's never felt this way before even though he was in a four year long relationship with his ex.
What do you think?
I've also been thinking of maybe spicing things up, any ideas on how to do it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm, well, as a guy I can give you my experience in texting a lot. A little backstory as it is related to my advice. I moved semi-recently, and where I used to live, I like a girl a lot. I found out just as I was moving she really really liked me too, and for the past half year or so, we have talked almost every day. But recently, I haven't felt like texting or talking to her and when I decided I liked a girl at my new area, my feelings may have waned a bit, not sure. So, this guy you like and stuff, you two may just not see each other often enough and texting has become stale for him, possibly. Would it hurt to ask him if he is tired of texting and if he just wants to see you more often? I personally enjoy talking to a person face to face more than talking or texting on a phone. I hope this helped

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    • I think we both prefer seeing eachother in person, but we work at stupid hours and he lives a bit out of town so it makes things harder. He once told me that one of the downsides with him is that he's got quite a lot going on, which means not seeing eachother as much as we'd like to. So I don't want to push him or make him feel bad for not texting or talking as much.
      I knew he was a busy person from the beginning, something he seemed nervous about. I told him that of course I want to see him as much as possible but I want him to pursue his dreams, which he is doing alongside his fulltime job, I wouldn't want him to drop it because of me.
      One of my concerns though is that we are getting used to being away from eachother for longer periods of time, two weeks is kind of a long time.

      I don't want to give up, I can really see a future with him, but when he finally is available I feel like dropping everything else so that we can be with eachother. I've had my doubts from time to time.

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    • Don't worry about it, it helped actually. Thank you for both your time and advice :)

    • You're welcome, I love to help people!

What Guys Said 1

  • Wow, I'm almost on the same boat as you. I am the distant guy. This girl I'm dating lives miles away and we used to date once a week. We kissed and all that romantic stuff. I used to text her a lot and enjoyed it. But just recently I'm becoming distant. I'm not sure why but maybe it's something to do with distance (travel is expensive). I'm not a texter but I'm feeling the texting has become stale and I wish she just calls than text. She's not a good flirter either so maybe spicing things up may help?

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    • But you like her? I wouldn't mind calling him but since he already is distant I feel like I'd be disturbing him and be too clingy if I did. How come you don't call her? :)
      My thoughts exactly, would you "regain" interest if your girl did?

    • I do call her. I even call her just to reply her text 'cause texting I stale.

      And yeah I like her - just that the distance is ruining it now that I think of it. But, if she does call me out of nowhere (you know, like a surprise) with interesting conversation, then I'd be interested in her more. I just wish she does this.

    • Oh okay, that sucks. We rarely talk on the phone, only if we need to know something quick and if it would be faster calling. If you call her I'd tell her you prefer talking on the phone if I were you, she probably doesn't even realize :)
      Any advice on how to spice things up? Thank you for your time :))

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