I had called him to end it because I was sick of not knowing where I stood. I know he has baggage, like serious baggage, but I got impulsive. I know he probably loves me (at least really likes me), I know he genuinely cares about me, I know we could be together, we practically are if he didn't act so god damn distant. I told him I couldn't do it anymore and he got really quiet and then when I told him why he got angry. he said I was trying to force things and that that was no way to get any of this solved. this has been an argument with us before by the way, last year. I absolutely love spending time with this person, he is like my best friend, I can tell him anything, no one makes me laugh like he does, or feel more beautiful. but because we're having sex I needed to know where I stood and he basically froze. I told him find don't ever call me again then and he told me please I know you don't mean that. I know he's been through a lot and the only relationship he's ever had ended really badly leaving him with bad trust issues, but still. I ended the conversation, I blocked him from both of my phones. It's been two weeks. he usually tries to come back, I don't know if he will this time. I miss him everyday, the things he knows about me that no one else does, the jokes only the two of us share. I don't think it's because of another girl because a long while ago a friend of his said that wasn't it. he's hooked up with random girls here and there, but he says that's not the reason this is hard for him. so I don't know, and he won't open up and I don't know if he ever will, but on the phone he was very frigid and then angry (not in a mean way), and that's when I ended it.
- he's hurt right now but probably does want to see you againVote A
- he probably doesn't want anything to do with thisVote B
Most Helpful Guy
I don't mean anything judgmental by this, but I am going to say that if I were in his situation, I would not come back. Please read on, I really hope you find this helpful.
You said the following:
"I told him I couldn't do it anymore"
"been an argument with us before"
"we're having sex I needed to know where I stood"
"fine don't ever call me again"
"I blocked him from both of my phones"
"he usually tries to come back, I don't know if he will this time."
It sounds like there is a long established pattern of drama, and the frequency and nature of it is quite unhealthy. You mentioned he had baggage, and that he's come back before. Based on that, I think he has very weak personal boundaries, stemming from poor self-respect. Based on what I read in your question, you also have weak boundaries, stemming from insecurity. Weak boundaries, in my opinion, are one of the top reasons that relationships fail. If a person can't establish a firm sense of self and the type of behavior they will accept from others, relationships spin out of control, and people get hurt.
Because I have a very defined sense of self and boundaries, I would not come back to you if in his position. I think he should not go back to you. If he come back, it is further evidence of his weak boundaries.
But further, if he does come back, you should not continue with him. You also have weak boundaries and, for your own benefit, should not accept being in a relationship with someone who can't help you grow. Neither of you are mature or secure enough for this relationship to continue in a healthy way.
I think it is good that you two are apart right now, for the good of you both. Take this time for self-reflection and self-improvement. Try to grow from this, see where your behavior and attitudes are lacking, and try to address them. It will be easy and comfortable to get back together, but you'll slip into the same unhealthy pattern of behavior.
Demand more and better for yourself.0
- Show AllShow Less