Why should you be friends with a girl that friend zoned you?

Honestly, what would be the point? Why would I be friends with that girl if I have absolutely nothing to gain from the friendship. Being their friend would give me nothing, it'd be pointless and painful, and the girl would become the very definition of worthless. Honestly, how else could you define the girl that friend zoned you, not to say they deserve suffering, but they simply have no value or worth to you anymore, wouldn't it be best to simply discard them? I mean, once a piece of machinery stops working and you stand to gain nothing, it becomes worthless, right? And what do you do win worthless things? You discard them, how would discarding a girl that played and friended you be any different, how is it wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't mind being friends with anyone. Boy or girl. BUT I DO MIND AND HATE when people try to string me on and treat me like a therapist or use me for favors or a shoulder to cry on. I know how you feel and in terms of a relationship if you ask her etc.

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What Girls Said 13

  • So you don't value women as friends. You only view them as sex objects. And then you complain why they friendzone you. It's kind of remarkable that they manage to friendzone you, since you sound like a very hateful person. I wouldn't choose to be friends with you if I were them. Heck, I wouldn't even acknowledge you as an acquaintance.
    "wouldn't it be best to simply discard them" Discard? Did you really use the word discard? Do I need to remind you that you are talking about human-beings? Because you seem to forget it.
    Anyway, you make your own luck. That's all I can say.

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    • Haha, whatever. Discard, yeah, I said discard, let me tell you, if my life has taught me one hung, it's that most people don't actually matter. If my life has taught me one thing it's that being kind is pointless. If my life has taught me one thing it's that, no matter how many times you're friends go to you with their personal issues, their own depressions, they'll ignore yours and even ignore you outside of your pain. Haha, if my life has taught me anything it's that you could talk someone out of hurting themselves, and they still turn around and make fun of you. If my life has taught me anything, it's that you can be as kind as you want, people will still alienate you. If my life has taught me anything it's that lives don't even matter, because you're somehow weak if you refuse to hold a gun. If my life has taught me anything, it's that love is worthless and causes nothing but pain. So, yeah, it's pretty easy for me to say discard in such a context.

    • Yea you're pretty much right. Some people are really bad friends. But you have to understand that someone that hurts them self has something wrong with them mentally, and they still have those mental problems even when they aren't trying to hurt his or her self. I'm not saying you shouldn't be friends with people that have mental problems, just understand that being friends with them requires extra effort on your part that won't necessarily be returned equally.

  • I'm saying this with all seriousness, so don't think I'm joking or being sarcastic, you got some deep issues. I really do hope you see a therapist.
    You're the guy who hates being black right? The same guy who asks suicide questions? Same guy who constantly asks disrespectful questions about women? The same guy who hates humanity?

    I thought I was misanthropic, but damn. I hope you're just trolling.

    As for your question, no, you don't have to stay friends with her. But it's kinda sad how you compare women to machinery, and then have the audacity to want a relationship.
    If you really see women as such horrible creatures, why do you want to date women? If you're really convinced that the world hates you, that humanity has nothing to offer, why do you still associate with us?

    I really think you should seek professional help.

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    • Well, hey, they treat me like shit, always have, other than my mother, maybe some other family members. And, haven't you figured it out, I have nothing to be happy about, I have no reason to love myself, haha, in fact, I hate myself most of all. I am alone, I always have been. You want to know why I hate humanity, because it hates me.

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    • I'm sorry about my questions, I just have no one else to turn to, and I've just now started speaking to my cousin about my issues (she's the closest thing I have to an older sister). I don't know why I hate myself so much at this point, I hate my looks, I hate that I'm depressed, and, more than anything, I hate that I have so much hatred inside of me.

    • You can PM me if you wanna. I may be a jackass, but I do talk to people who have problems on here.

      It's good you're seeking guidance.

      If it continues though, talk to a therapist.

  • You shouldn't. If you have unrequited feelings for somebody it's just going to make you feel shitty and resentful.

    I'm NOT saying you shouldn't have platonic friends because that's stupid. Women can offer you a different perspective than men, and you should value anybody, regardless of anatomy, that can offer something to your life. If you meet a female physicist or philosopher that you respect without wanting to bone, you should pursue that.

    But it's kind of pointless to be "friends" with somebody that makes you feel disappointed, so unless enough time has passed that you don't feel grumbly, don't bother.

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    • Exactly, I honestly hate it when girls extend the hand of friendship after I get rejected, it's more of an insult than anything.

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    • Thing is, no girl would willingly like me. This advice is pointless because I can only get lukewarm at best, maybe I should just accept my status and find ways not to hurt myself because of it, yes?

    • Then you miss the end. Self improvement. That's the only dating advice. You've got a big fat brain, so look at how you dress. How you groom yourself. Could you stand to lose a little weight or put a bit on? What excites you? Are you into marathons or WoW or paper airplane conventions? Well get on it and explore that facet of your life. Interesting people are... Interesting.

      Most importantly, remember that you're a little ahead of your peers and give them some time to catch up to you. I promise, in a year or two you won't have this issue.

  • Plain and simple- girls talk. What you have to gain? Positive feedback and girl friends to turn to when you're confused about something. Just because she showed interest at first, doesn't mean she knew how she felt about you. You could meet a girl and find her absolutely amazing, but then you realize a few weeks later that there's really no spark or chemistry. You still enjoy hanging out with them, but you're just not romantically interested anymore. That's not playing someone, that's what dating is. It's a method to get to know how you feel about a person. Oh and what I mean about girls talk? Well if you date Suzy and she decides that you're not for her, but you drop her like she's "trash", then you decide you're interested in Jane. Well Suzy knows Jane through a mutual friend and the mutual friend tells Jane how you responded to Suzy and now Jane thinks you're callous. Also, girls who friendzone are likely to set you up with someone else. Maybe you keep Suzy around and she introduces you to Betty who she thinks would be great for you, and Betty turns out to be incredible. You gained Betty. You want girls to be like "Oh he's so nice and an amazing friend" when your name comes up in conversation. You're not getting that if you keep dropping them like they're hot.

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    • Yeah, they set you up with the friend that looks almost female that hates themselves and may or may not be disabled. I know how the game works, dearie.

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    • Most people didn't even acknowledge my weak moments. Why am I the bad one? I've been treated awfully for most of my life and I've only ever wanted to be loved, to help people, that's all I ever wanted, and people have always hated and alienated me for it. Honestly, I'm crying as I write this, I'm so angry.

    • I never said you were the bad one. I said rethink your approach. Instead of getting all mean about being friendzoned (which in my opinion and experience means she likes you but in more of a friend way, not that she thinks bad of you) let it roll off your shoulders. There is someone for everyone. Don't let other people make you feel less than you are, don't let other people take away the things that make you you. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. But if you are feeling this badly about yourself and this angry, you really should consider speaking to someone. It's not good for anyone to hold in that much negativity. Not every person is bad, you just gotta hang in there!

  • do you have guy friends? You don't want to have a relationship with them. So do they have nothing to offer you? This girl would have the same things to offer you as your guy friends would… someone to talk to when you are happy or sad or need advice. Someone to hang out with and joke around with. If all you were ever interested in was dating her than don't be her friend.

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    • Because I do shit with my guy friends, I actually enjoy spending time with my guy friends, they're fun.

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    • If I like her I wouldn't find being the puppy dog she would never be with appealing. See, in woman's logic, it's perfectly fine and wonderful being friends with someone you like that you know won't ever reciprocate, in sane logic that's some bullshit and a waste of time and energy.

    • Every guy i dated i friend zoned before we dated. I will not date a guy that i have been friends with for a while before. I need to know that the guy cares about me as a person and doesn't just want to sleep with me. All girls want to know that a guy cares for her emotionally and isn't just trying to get with her. Looks like this girl made a smart call.

  • Wow, you sure sound like a keeper.
    So basically women are only good for one thing in your life? Good for sex and nothing else? Cause that seems to be the basics of what you're saying here.
    All I have to say is good luck with that. I don't see it getting you far.

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    • You do know I have female friends, right?

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    • So you insult them back, that's mature. You'll go crazy if you try to be liked by everyone. Just don't take it so personally, I'm sure you've rejected girls before, whether on purpose or without even realizing it.

    • Clearly not on purpose, because no one would admit they like me, they'd rather die.

  • By friend zone do you mean she won't have sex with you or do you mean she doesn't want a retionship?

    If you only pretends to want to be friends bc you really wanted sex or a gf then you never wanted to be friend in the first place so there no really to continue pretending.

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    • I usually make my intentions known from the get go, if they act interested at first then change their mind, heir friendship is utterly worthless and even trash to me, plain and simple.

  • Mmmm well if you still respect the friendship at least I don't see why not. I wasn't friends with most the guys I friendzoned because they simply told me they didn't want to see me after that. I understood and I don't talk to them anymore. When I was friendzoned, I was told by the guys to get out of their lives so I did. Simply did as they all asked even if I was upset about it. People can still be friends, it will be awkward but depends.

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  • Well it still means you're still close to her..
    You still have a chance?
    If her friendship is not close enough then just forget about her..
    If it hurts just leave her..
    If her connection with you means nothing to you, then what's the darn point on hanging out with her?
    Get a new girl, be happy, and forget the past..

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    • Or destroy the past.

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    • It would, but, when you're as miserable as me, your actually happy memories bring just as much pain.

    • Ya know... I won't go too deep in my side of the story..
      But there are other people who are at least trying to be positive of what happen in their past..
      I know happy memories can bring pain.. But, if you don't have them, then you'll just be more depressed and won't even know what happy memories really is..

  • If you want to be her friend go ahead.
    If you don't want to be her friend, don't
    Simple really

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    • We'll, in my last question, someone said I'd be wrong for seeing the girl as useless.

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    • No, not at all, it does, however, make her useless to ME.

  • You dont have to be friend with them if u dont want its your choice honestly

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  • I would say that she shouldn't be friends with you, you sound like a dick.

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  • Well if you don't see the point in the friendship I guess walk away but why not be friends, not every girl will want you as more than a friend so being friend zoned has to be done sometimes but the friendship can be good for you to actually learn how to actually value girls more

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    • Because, fuck them, that's why.

    • so then I guess they were right in friend zoning you

What Guys Said 12

  • Girls are not pieces of machinery, neither are guys - we're all PEOPLE.
    You sound pretty hurt about being friend zoned by this girl.
    Sorry dude, it's not cool, but I'll be straight with you - you need to get over it, cos the world mostly doesn't care.
    Your opinion is that she's now worthless in all forms because you can't have a relationship with her, and you're having a hard time with that. I question your opinion, because I think we all stand to gain a lot from all people we know, if we want to. I think right now you're more interested in "getting even" because you feel like she's wronged you for saying she's not interested.
    Yeah man, I don't think that makes her useless - I think that means you need to deal with your shit.

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    • You're right, she basically fucked me in the ass and I hate her now, you happy? I still have zero to gain from leaving her in my life.

    • It doesn't make me happy to tell you you're wrong, no, cos I understand that it actually HURTS sometimes.
      If you feel this way and want to stay as "the victim" here, then I'd say it's best that you keep her out of your life for both your sakes.
      If you can let go of the hurt tho and forgive it, you stand to gain something in yourself as a result of knowing her and having had this experience. (i know that's probably really tough to accept, and I'm NOT trying to piss you off)

    • She didn't do anything wrong…. just told you she didn't want to date you…. grow up

  • I used to be friends with girls when I was your age, until I realised that the friend zone was the place that they put the males who were not as 'exciting' or 'fun' as the bad boys who gave them that itch in their crotch. Girls just want to have 'fun', after all.
    The only time that any of these girls called upon me was then they needed money, a place to stay, or protection after the relationship with their latest psycho bad boy boyfriend went pear shaped.
    After I had inflicted grievous bodily harm upon what I think was the fourth of these psycho bad boys, it occurred to me that I should allow these girls to experience the full consequences of their choices. Shielding them from the consequences of their choices was to deprive them of a learning experience that they needed, even if it meant that their faces might not be so pretty after the bad boy had finished with them.
    Basically, if I was not good enough, fun enough, or exciting enough before they were in fear of their life, then FOAD. Enjoy your berth in the trailer part with the 'exciting' minimum-wage drunk or stoner.
    Women seemed to have more respect for me after that. Accepting friend zone status makes a man look weak, desperate and needy. I was (and am) desperate and needy, but I refuse to be weak. I refuse absolutely to allow any woman to see me that way.

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    • Exactly, the friend zone is the ultimate lack of respect, like saying you're not good enough to be with me, but good enough to be my bitch, to be slightly below me. I, like you, have nothing to gain, thereby making the girl worthless to me, why would I possibly be their friend?

    • how is having someone as your friend not respecting them or placing them beneath you. i'm pretty sure friends are on equal levels

  • Buddy, I can't tell you how to live your life, nor can I tell you to stop being cynical. But think about it: life is defined in moments. You might be able to have some great ones by yourself, but with others it's truly something special. I've never had the privelige to be so important in someone's life as o be their boyfriend, but I know when I do, I'll always be kind and understanding, and I'm sure you are too. But notice the word "friend" in there. To hav a true romantic partner, you have to have a friendship. A relationship IS a friendship. The only difference are the physical aspects. If that's all you're looking for, then you will never truly be in a relationship. You'll merely be in a hormone-induced trance, an while it may be fun, it's a waste of your time.

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  • It doesn't hurt to keep in touch. That doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of time with her, and it wouldn't be a good idea.
    She might have hot friends, either now or in the future.

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  • I never encourage any of friends to settle for friendship with a girl that they like. Why? Because how can a guy or a girl be friends with someone who they possess romantic feelings for? I find the guys and girls who accept the friend do so not to be friends but to try and use the friendship to convince and persuade the person in question to 'give them a shot'.

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  • Depends what you think a friendship offers you. If you're looking but sex and romantic love from people then it's understandable you wouldn't value friendship. Whatevs, you can do that but expect to be nigelated.

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  • Absolutely. If you feel you're not getting anything from that friendship, or you'll even suffer from it don't put yourself through it or waste your time just to cause "its what you do".

    Rejection is rejection. If you can get over it and you'd value her as a friend, then stay friends. If not, don't bother.

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  • I wouldn't talk to them anymore however if I were to bump into them then I would have a normal conversation with them and pretend it never happened but I wouldn't go out of my to be just friends unless I wasn't physically attracted to her then that's another story

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  • It never hurts to have a friend

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  • You shouldn't. If she doesn't think I'm good enough to have sex with, I don't think she's good enough to be friends. My friends admire me, and would date me if there was the opportunity. It's better to discard a girl like that, it only stops your progress. Kick them away, even if it takes you a few months to get over. There's always better looking girls with better personalities.

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    • I can't tell if this is sarcastic, but I'm really hoping that it is...

    • It's not. "Fuck me, or fuck off" that's my attitude. I have enough friends.

  • Haha, I remember this happened to me once. Except I wasn't even interested in her, she just randomly said "You're too good of a friend. I don't want to complicate that." I lol'd so hard, but as a result I knew that she was willing to just use me and that she thought she was better than me, so I decided to play around with her. I treated her like she was my five year old little sister. She got soooo pissed and eventually we stopped being friends the least awkward way possible because I came out on top. And everytime I see her I can just smile and she instantly gets pissed and runs off. It's awesome! :)

    by the way don't feel sorry for the bitch, she did this thing to so many guys. She had like 2 female friends and 50+ guy friends and she does this 'friend zone' thing to all of them because she's insecure. She wants to turn them down before she gets turned down, plus she wants to be able to tell people that so many guys want her so that they think she's awesome, because she knows she isn't awesome. She not pretty, but she's nice so she seemed like a good friend because she always does whatever anyone tells her to do. If only she wasn't so insecure lol.

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    • You da man bro. That sounds like the same girl who tried to friendzone me :)

    • Haha, did you treat her like a toddler too?

    • Nope, I treated her like she was better than me. I'll totally do that next time.

  • I think all the women making comments are harsh!

    What's wrong with a guy dropping a girl because she doesn't want to be with him.

    I dropped a girl last week after talking to her for 2 months. I mean we still talk once in awhile, but I did it because I made it clear to her that I was looking for a straight up relationship and something long term.

    She didn't want the same thing and friend zoned me.. So I dropped her. I don't see how that's a bad thing? I'm not using her for sex, I didn't abuse her in anyway.

    Am I really a bad guy because I want a long term relationship leading to marriage and kids? Time to me is important, I'm a busy career oriented guy, and I have no time to play games with women or be lead on, or lead a woman on.

    So yes, if a woman friendzones me and I am interested in her I will only talk to her here and there. But, I won't put as much time as I would if we were in a relationship.

    Ladies let the thumbs down begin...

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