Can't say no - Mistaking sex for something more?

I think I’ve been confusing sex for something more and thinking that sex means that the guy likes me. I’ve been hooking up with this guy for about 3 months now but I can’t seem to stop doing it. He literally just comes round and we have sex and then he leaves. There’s no chit chat, no interaction - just sex. We only really started hooking up because he told me on the first date that he wouldn’t see me again if we didn’t. Recently I’ve been finding myself wanting more and trying to figure out whether this means anything. Does it mean anything or is he really just using me? I know he’s probably just using me but I can’t seem to tell him no. Even when he does things to me that I’ve explicitly said he can’t do or is forceful, I still just let him do it because it’s easier than saying no. You know? I know he’s a decent guy but I just don’t know how to make him care more? Can I? Or should I just stop seeing him? How would I even do that? He keeps asking if he can come round tonight - I don't know if I want to see him, but I know that if I say no he'll me gone. What's wrong with me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're too nice and being too nice makes you a door mat that is easy to wipe feet on. In any relationship for women it's relationship first then sex, if a guy can't prove he has more of an interest in you other than sex, then you should drop him. Your first date encounter should of set off all types of red flags and warning bells. Your personal boundaries are too soft, and easy compromised and you are easily taken advantage of. You have to set boundaries with him or any other guy or risk being so hurt you will shut everyone to avoid being hurt again. He's not a decent guy, he's a douche. A decent guy wouldn't of made such a demand of you on a first date, yet if it happened he would be cool about it and want to see you again if he was into you. Other wise he would wait till you felt safe and comfortable to go all the way. If he's hurting you now, just wait until you guys are together for awhile, wait till he starts controlling you and demanding you ditch your friends and isolates you from family so he can condition you for the coming tide of emotional and psychological abuse he has plans to unleash on you. This whole thing is toxic and you my dear are going to get very hurt. You can't change him and no amount of love will do that, he's not into you for the reasons you want him to be. Don't see him again if you want to really find love. No matter what he says he's not being forthright with you. He will tool your emotions and he knows your lonely and desperate for love. Move on, sex doesn't mea love to a man, respect and appreciation means love to a man, sex means love to a woman. Write me here if you need help. Hope this wakes you up a little.

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    • 👏👏👏 beautifully said!

    • You know you deserve better, yet you have to really believe that you deserve what it is you want. I want you to check out www.hypnosisdownloads.com/relationship-problems also look for the ten steps to self esteem, if you sign up for the mini course they'll send you by day 3 a link for 25% off. This stuff works, and I don't get paid to say that I've used it to help me too. :)

What Guys Said 2

  • using you only. He's in it for the sex, nothing else.

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  • lol you're practically a cum dumpster, I kind of feel bad for you. He doesn't care about you in the least, you're there to satisfy his sexual needs, nothing more. There's nothing wrong with 2 people having casual sex but you developed feelings and he probably has none for you. You can't change him to make him 'care more' about you. If you threaten to cut it off, he might even go as far as sweet talking you and appearing to 'care more' about you but believe me, it's bullshit. He's saying that so he can continue getting laid. You're probably gonna get hurt even worse at the end.

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What Girls Said 0

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