If you look at dating rituals and expectations, especially traditional ones, they seem to be based on the idea of women being intrinsically worthy of love, and men having to work their way up to deserving it.
Women are treated (and treat themselves) as the source of love and intimacy, while men are the demand who must trade something, lest she have no reason to stick around.
Sex is seen as something girls are generous enough to give and men are selfish enough to desire. (Or "skilled enough" to earn.)
And why else would it be such an atrocity for a woman to buy her own meal on a date? If a guy is "cheap" for not paying for his and her food, what does that make her, if she upset that she has to pay anything at all?
There's a lot of talk about how every woman deserves to feel desired. That men should compliment their ladies often. I'm not against that: The world desperately lacks uplifting. But if a man is insecure because he hasn't received a single compliment, he's just a demanding, whiny boy. If he does receive a compliment, it's seen as an undeserved ego-inflation.
Just think about that for a second, girls. Imagine a guy who not only doesn't compliment you, but demands you pay for them just to be considered a good girlfriend? You would have none of it. Nor should you. But guys must either accept this or be considered whiny.
It's a common theme in film as well. If there's a fight, it's because HE either screwed up, and she deserves none of it, or she screwed up, and HE isn't accepting enough to deserve her. I can't stand chick flicks for this very reason.
Now don't get me wrong, this hasn't been all of my dating experience. While I did date a girl who was like this, I've managed to date some awesome girls, and I love doing nice or chivalrous things for a girl who isn't expecting it.
But that isn't the overall culture of dating. I've had to weed through and find the exceptions.
Most Helpful Girl
well I don't know bout other women, but this is certainly not the way i see myself or a good man.
i dont mind paying for my own food.
i dont mind driving myself to a date.
yes, i want to feel desired, but gosh, it's so sexy when a man shows it in subtle ways. when it's just flat out, i feel it loses depth. i compliment a man when i want to. not when he asks me. if i give a compliment, i ensure that it will not inflate his ego. all about wording. people should practice that artistry-.-
i realised you referred to films as examples. not solid ground if ur trying to talk to us about real life. they aren't accurate representations of males or females.
as for expectations, i dont have many, but i do have standards and i will never drop those for anyone.1