Is he done with me? Or do you think he genuinely likes me?

Me and this guy met on tinder. We've been on 5 dates already, and we have had sex. We talk every single day, he's told me he likes me a lot more than once. He mentions things in the future like me maybe going to his best friend's wedding in may with him. He lives 30 mins away from me and he came out to me Monday night just to see me and grab coffee, and Tuesday he took me out to lunch. Wednesday he was upset about something at home so I offered to come out there to make him feel better and he said "idk babe let me see and i'll let you know." i don't know why that made me feel so insecure but then I started asking him a bunch of questions like if i was just sex and if he liked me and if he saw this going somewhere. BIG NO NO's. I already know I messed up. He told me he likes me a lot, I'm not just sex, and that he wants to take things day by day. The problem is I kept repeating myself and apologizing and then I said "is everything ok between us or are you cutting me off?" he said "Omg again? I'm about to cut you off, you ask me the same thing all day" So then I felt he was distant but when we said goodnight that night he said he missed me. We still have been talking everyday and Thursday night he said he missed me and then yesterday he said "hey babe how's your day going?" and then he said he had to get back to work and that he missed me. He made a joke yesterday too and I played along with it and he said "oh you're great" I said "why" he said "because you're funny and you know how to play along." but he hasn't mentioned anything about seeing me :( I worked late last night and tonight I babysit so he knows that but I don't know. I feel like I messed up.

1. Do you think he genuinely likes me?
2. Do you think he's done with me?
3. Do you think I messed up and now he's only talking to me for sex?


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Yes 2. No 3. No

    It sounds like this guy is yours to lose. Freaking out at him over your own weirdness, especially when he's just told you he's having a rough time, is not a good idea (as you know).

    Seriously, I've had girls do that to me and it really puts me off. Don't do it again. When you get those insecure, unhappy worries, keep them to yourself. It's hard, I know (I hate not knowing where I stand with someone either) but until you have real probable cause to be worried, don't be.

    Aside: When a guy pays you a compliment like 'you're great', don't throw it back at them with 'why'!! I hate that!


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What Guys Said 6

  • he likes you
    no he is not done with u but u r on a short lease eat his head on what you are on too much and he will have too
    and no u didn't messed it up yet

  • Just relax. Apologize for freaking out and never mention it again. He likes you for more than sex. Relax

  • I think he likes you. If it was just sex he would've cut you off a lot sooner. But don't be so clingy, that can drive a man crazy. I know a lot of women like reassurance and everything. But if you do it on a daily basis, he might just cut you off completely, no warning or anything. How old is he?

  • 2 a little and 3 partly, he just wants ex, so does most guys on tinder. Just leave him and find someone you know like a friend, works so much better, you did nothing wrong, just leave it :)

  • 1) yes he genuinely likes you.
    2) no he's not done yet, but you need to relax. You're coming off as clingy my dear. That's a no no. Just relax and take it day by day
    3) no but refer to number two lol

  • It began online and you already had sex with him... sorry but it's getting nowhere.


What Girls Said 3

  • I hope you won't mind a wise ol owl's Opinion here first, sweetie, for I know you have asked for "Guys" but I see as clear as a bell what is going on and it doesn't have to be etched in stone.
    You both have been on '5 dates' and Hopefully counting. He has taken the initiative to drive many miles to be with you, has taken you out, has even started calling you pet names which in itself would give Me a Secure feeling that I may have him where I want him at the moment.
    However, with your own 'Insecurities,' asking questions over and over, Over thinking the problem Not at hand, he was patient enough to continue Answering your Pleas to Please pacify me and still hung in there.
    With him putting you aside a bit for that one moment, with you wanting to make him feel better, he wanted you to know he needed his space but even then, you didn't let it rest... you started in with More in store that you started to throw in. This was the beginning of his beguine to start surmising that you had a few problems of your own and may have Started putting a sour ball in his mouth.
    The topper to the cake came when you threw the joke at him of "Because you're funny and you know how to play along." He may have taken this lightly, found it no joke and now you are standing there with egg all over your face.
    He has most likely grown cold duck feet and is possibly wondering if it might just be best to put you on hi spay no mind list because he feels there is a problem child pattern going full circle.
    The best you can Try is to rectify anything right now is text him an apology and tell him you'd like to meet up and talk. Tell him you realize you've been in the wrong lately, but you'd like to start over and show him another side to you that you feel he might enjoy better.
    If he doesn't respond, then leave sleeping dogs to lie. You would have learned from this little lesson in love the next time to not over react when nursing and nurturing a newbie relationship.
    Good luck. xx

  • WOW. Ok, some damage control.

    Do NOT bring up that conversation ever, ever, EVER again. Do not apologize, just never EVER bring it up again. The fact that he didn't turn and run screaming into a 4 lane highway at rush hour means he likes you enough to overlook your sharp left (and hopefully temporary) turn into clingy insanity.

    Guys need some space at times. Him telling you he basically wanted to deal with his issue at the time alone should not have been a red flag to you so early on. You need to take a deep breath and let him be HIM. He would have called you when it was all over. Add to that, you gave him more stress when he was trying to cope with whatever it was by throwing the "what are we" card at him... waaaaaay early. Then, you didn't let it go. Again, it speaks volumes that he didn't ghost on you. He apparently likes you, maybe even a lot.

    Your feelings now are going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy... if you let them. You need to relax... anything you do now is going to come off as more super clingy behavior and, well, guys don't like that very much. If he hasn't asked you out again but is still talking to you, maybe he actually listened when you told him you were busy this weekend. Another plus for him, lol!

    You did mess up. For a lot of guys, that might have been a deal breaker five dates in. This guy is willing to stick with you and ignore the behavior, YAY for this guy! He sounds like a keeper.

    For sex, well I can't help but think guys run the other way when presented with the situation you gave him. No strings attached sex is pretty easy to find for them, isn't it? Don't hold me to that one though because I am not a guy, but I think he would pass on sex with you after those shenanigans.

    You can't undo it, so you need to pretend it didn't happen and never let it happen again. Sounds like he is a great guy, so stop second guessing his feelings for you and try to act more secure with him.


  • I think you're too sensitive and there is no issue here. He's joking around with you so it's fine. :)