Boyfriend might enlist and I am terrified?

My boyfriend used to want to enlist, but when we started dating he said he no longer wanted to because he wanted to be with me. He hasn't brought it up in months. He just told me yesterday that he is seriously considering joining now, and I'm terrified... I don't want him to go, I don't want to lose him... I don't know how to tell him this...

Updates:
I don't know where he wants to go, or what he wants to do, he hasn't said too much. I know he's really pissed off about ISIS, which isn't surpsising, everyone is. But if he's going anywhere near them... I'm not afraid of him meeting someone else, I'm afraid of something horrible happening to him... We also have not been away from one another for more than a couple of days since we started dating, so him being gone for so long.. I don't know how to handle that.. Also feel selfish..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell him you don't want him to go, but give him your support. It's not an easy decision for him, choosing between his future job, and you. So the best thing is to support what he decides, but you can still give your opinion. Just don't force him saying his being selfish if he goes or stuff like that, it doesn't help, and it will probably make things worse.

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What Guys Said 10

  • You need tell him how much you care about him and you don't know
    how to go on if he should enlist, tell him you prefer he go to college,
    get job but not the Army etc...

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  • Your profile says you're in Canada.

    You have nothing to worry about.

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  • Relax, Honey. First off, we're not heading INTO another way anytime soon. And second, what branch is he going in, and for what MOS ( what job )?

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  • Well, at least you've figured out that the most important factor for him to consider in making monumental, personal life choices is you and your needs. Now you just need to get him to realize this.

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  • Just tell him that you would prefer he not enlist and help him seek employment/education/worthwhile pursuit elsewhere.

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  • Having someone enlist is hard, but depending on branch and MOS the job can be fairly safe. If he scores good on his tests he can get some really high paying jobs (like a nuke or submariner in the navy). That's not to say those jobs are without danger, but I wasn't exactly getting shot at when I was in the sub. Most of the guys I was with were always talking about their girl back home so losing him to someone else isn't something you have to worry about to much.

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  • well just tell him!!! whats the hard part, living with an army person is hard... tell him to choose one... you or the us army !!! hard choice!!!

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  • its his decision so let him

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  • You can see if there's other options avaliable but if its something he wants to do you have to support him 100%

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  • What branch?

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What Girls Said 2

  • honestly, while i understand where ur coming from, i feel that we as women sometimes get in the way of a man's dreams. he gives up so much without realising, and in the end he loses himself and who he wants to be.
    girl, believe me, i get u. it's hard, but dont u think that since it's playing on his mind for so long, it means a lot to him? and as a gf, u should support his dream and just hope that he looks after himself and keeps in touch with you. who knows, maybe he'll come back an even better man, maybe he has a point to prove to himself... i dont know. whatever the case, i know that if we love him that much, we will support him, no matter what.

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  • I am in a new relationship and my bf is in the military. Regardless he was in it before we started dating but its still kind of scary. We are able to text every day n we call each other about every few days. If you are completely dedicated to your relationship you need to be supportive. He's not going to have an easy path either so try n stay positive at all times. But it sounds like you 2 need to sit down n have a serious talk about both ur futures.

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