Should I give up the hope of ever finding a girlfriend?

OK so quick facts I'm 23 never had a girlfriend
I'm too shy to approach a girl
I'm not attractive
I'm autistic
I dont have a lot of money
I can't drive
I have bad anxiety
I have ocd


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Most Helpful Girl

  • imma b real with u here.

    there was a guy on this site who was ALWAYS talking negative about either his looks, his personality or chances of finding a woman.

    u do realise that to some of us, we dont care bout all this shit^^ we just want a GOOD man. is it too much to ask?
    all u should change is how u approach women. just be friendly, u dont need to hit on em from the word go. if u have it in ur mind that u just want a friend, then ur making ur life easier. we aren't a commodity here. stop thinking of 'getting' or 'winning' a woman and think about KNOWING and UNDERSTANDING us. change ur mindset. this is how u win.

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    • man give her the best answer my name is mistninja314 and "I APPROVE OF THIS MESSAGE"

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    • Define "good" lol

What Girls Said 8

  • Aren't you the guy who was obsessed with getting a blonde girl? And I remember you posted a question saying that black or mixed girls were the only ones that hit on you. . .

    Regardless, only some of that crap matters, not all of it. BUT what's worse is this self defeating attitude you got going on. I do believe listing or acknowledging the "bad' or negative qualities can help BUT it's if you decide to improve on them somehow. Just moping about them doesn't really help. It makes you look like a person who complains and doesn't take care of his shit.

    And seriously money? Where are all these damn golddigging women that some guys on GaG just LOOOOVE to complain about? Lol wtf. I'm broke as a joke, nearly everyone around me is, and I only met like 3 or 4 genuine golddiggers, but they were men and women. So where the hell do y'all find all these damn golddiggers? Someone seriously answer me.

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    • I did say that but not me I don't get hit on by girls

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    • Take what I can get so if the girl is strung out on drugs or has a std

    • I wasn't the one who said that. Other people commented that.

      Really though? Strung out on drugs or has stds? You think black or mixed girls are like that?
      Do you have those same concerns when searching for a blonde chick?

  • You gotta start from within. Learn to love and accept the person that you are. I'd date an autistic person if they have the capacity to communicate effectively. Which I can tell you do. I know there are a lot of stereotypes and stigmas attached to those that are Autistic. A lot of people don't even know but a lot of Autistic people are highly intelligent and are quite talented in certain areas.

    You gotta get out of this negative self image slump. No amount of positive speaking will help you though until you see it for your self.

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  • Why would you be so weak as to "give up"? Just try hard, improve yourself, make an effort to meet new people etc. No one ever got anywhere by moping around and hating themselves. Gain confidence, attractiveness is subjective, autism isn't a deal breaker, a lot girls don't care about money, learn to drive (isn't difficult), people with anxiety still get dates, and just deal with your OCD. C'mon now!

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  • I get you, dude. I use to be super self conscious and depressed. It took me a psychic reading to actually help me. That stuff is bullshit but it helped me, so it's some good.

    Just don't give up, there's someone for everyone.

    I didn't get my first boyfriend until 16. He's pretty much the male version of me. Geeky. And he was worth the wait.

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  • Don't lose hope. Many people in generations past have had autistic tendencies but have no label. Now there is a label, and it can set one back in society. Dating is hard enough, but social and developmental disorders make it worse. I would suggest trying to network with others like via online. The fact that you recognize the issues and are trying shows that you are plenty capable of not letting your autism ruin a good relationship.

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  • Give up trying to find girls and let girls find you. That way she not forcing herself to love you,

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  • You guys giving meaningful responses are wasting your time. Asker will still be asking the same questions over and over again.

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    • No I don't ask this for fun I want a girlfriend and I wanna be happy but it doesn't seem like it will happen

    • I never said you asked this for fun. You get good responses all the time yet you still ask the same questions over and over.

  • Instead of marking all the things wrong with you, why not mark all the things that are right? Pinpointing every single thing about yourself that you think a chick won't like will only put you down and add to your shyness and lack of confidence. Try to have a more positive outlook on the person that you are and what value you have to offer in a woman's life.

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    • Cause I ain't got no positive features and I could eliminate allvtgat other stuff but the second I tell a women I'm autistic its over

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    • Being autistic is one of the first things I do mention cause it's me being real with her and upfront about what I have instead of trying to lie and hide it and her finding out later

    • By doing that it seems like you're projecting your autism when there's no need. allow yourself to have a decent conversation with a woman without mentioning your autism off the top, and I'm sure you'd see a world of a difference. It doesn't make you a liar to keep that to yourself initially. You're giving her a chance to get to know who you are, and see that being autistic doesn't affect the type of man that you are.

What Guys Said 11

  • Dude I see your post and they are always overly negative. Why don't you stop focusing on the negative and look at the positives in your life. Additionally who cares if you're single, stop thinking that by being in a relationship will change your life somehow, because at the end of the day if you don't respect and love yourself no one else will, no one person can change you or what is already in you. Work on building self confidence, self respect, and love the person you are because no one else will last in your life if you have non of that. no one likes people who are going to bring everyone down with their insecurity. Work on yourself before worrying on being with anyone else, because ultimately it just won't last if this is your self image.

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    • yes. thank you!

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    • Well I plan to build on it like I said I started to think with a new mindset one that I never did before

    • This question is contradictory to a positive perspective, so hopefully that's the case. I wish the best for you though.

  • He's right, you are only complaining, but to put it nicer, you seriously need to go to therapy, i went to it and it worked really well, allow that time to start working on yourself, then worry about the ladies... honestly dude people put too much emphasis on love and not about themselves they are too afraid to do so, that they may look bad or treat someone bad, its not the case. Remember you are you and you have got to take care of you. No one else will. The relationships that last are the ones that both people are whole.

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  • never give up hope, unless it's your choice that you don't want to be on the dating-game.

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  • Start off by building your confidence, date girls that are a 3 - 5 at first. Once you've developed an aura of manliness dump the broad and start going after 6-8s.

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  • with that self esteem you will get no were my friend. you have to start somewhere, try to talk to someone you like and show them what best about you and show interest by asking things about them. confidants is the golden key for starting a relationship, if you dont have a lot of it, dress extra nicely/workout/do your hair and smile in the mirror and the person you like, it helps a lot.

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  • There's always a girl you might've seen who Is/was interested in you. There always is

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    • Nah man just got to much going on to ever find a girl willing to accept me like that

    • Well, how do you expect to have one if you don't even approach? Also, there are quite a few females out there who crave for a man's attention. If you lower your standards of only wanting a 8 or 9 and come down to 5 I'm sure you will find people

    • Dude Im not looking for 8s

  • i got this from a book about approaching and attracting women, sadly i feel the guy is very right:

    "A Man will often distract himself with hobbies, work, p*rn, his friends, or other things in an attempt to mask the pain of being unsuccessful with women. No matter what they do, nothing replaces their primal, instinctive, innate desire to have a loving, intimate, sexual relationship with a real woman.

    Accepting defeat is not going to fix any of your issues with women. Your desire to have sex with women and be loved by women is not going to go away if you play more computer games, video games, other hobbies, work harder on your job, career, education, or making more money. You want women and that is that, it is not going to go away."

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  • I used to have zero confidence too but now I'm full of confidence except for one day like 4 days ago lol but the thing to do to get confidence would be to tell yourself that just because a girl doesn't like you doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. You gotta be happy, practice in your mirror or in ur head. Think how to confront a girl. Then go to the mall with a friend or 2 and practice on the unattractive girls. Build that confidence and always have a mentality of what's the worse that could happen.

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    • Its seems like it cause I take rejection personally because not only do girls reject you but they attack your apperance and how you look

  • doesn't mean anything you'll find that perfect somebody for you. Someday you just got to be patient

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  • Wow, I feel sorry for you for having zero confidence.

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    • Yeah man it comes from a lifetime of people making fun of me, no girls ever thinking I'm attractive, not having a good job, no car, and the list goes on

  • I leave for months and come back and you are STILL making these overly pathetic posts...

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    • Pathetic man its facts

    • There is a different between asking how to improve this/that. I respect that. But asking the f'ing internet communities about if you should give up on this/that?

      That right there, THAT, is why they want nothing to do with you. You're an emotional trainwreck. Once your get that handled your chances will go up exponentially.

    • Difference I meant to say.

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