What's wrong with me? (Serious)?

I'm 20 years old, I've never kissed a girl before, never had a girlfriend, never even been able to take a girl out on a date. What's wrong? I'm not shy, I'm social, have friends, and can talk to girls just fine. I've asked girls out before but they either said no, or flaked. Please note that getting a girlfriend is not my priority, I just want to know what the issue is and if I can change it. I'd like to find one, but It's just frustrating seeing all my friends having girlfriends, or being able to get one. and then there's me... I would appreciate it if you guys could give me straight answers, none of the "Don't worry, you'll find her someday" bullshit. I'm just a guy looking for some clarity.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • :**************** Well not anymore :p

    Jk, but yeah I feel you. Although I've been with a few people, right now I'm single and all over my Facebook people are saying cheesy things to their SO, and then there's me :/

    But seriously, I'm being completely honest here no bullshiting and there's nothing wrong with you. In all seriousness, finding someone is not as easy as some people think. Some people have more luck than others when it comes to dating. If they reject you it means they don't like you. Why? Because they just don't. Go look for someone that likes you for you, and then BAM. There's no clarification to make her, apparently you just haven't find someone that's into you yet, so keep looking.

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    • And maybe don't go for popular girls, because then your chance of being reject is higher. Don't come off as creepy either. Maybe see how your friends flirt and copy them if you think it works.

What Girls Said 2

  • What type of girls did u approach? Are they outgoing, introverts, very good looking, mean bitchy ones., sweet ones? how many girls rejected u ( I need to know if u r exaggerating)
    maybe u r not pursuing the type of girls that really suits u or those who feel that they might click with

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    • 4, to be exact. Guess I should have said "some girls." My standards are not too high if that's what you're assuming. Two were more outgoing, not out of my league, and friends of some of my friends. I was introduced to them, we kind of hit it off, hung out a few times, then asked her out on a proper date. One flaked, the other said no. One of the other two girls was one I worked with, and the other was one I met on a bus. pretty much the same stories there. One of the four even said she like me, but when I asked her out she flaked :( Oh well.

    • try more then, u seem like a normal guy to me. try flirting first be4 asking the girl out to check if she's ok with it. don't give girls the impression of being too friendly to the point they friendzone u

    • u need to spice things up more

  • Unfortunately, since none of us know you personally its hard to answer this but, possibly just asking the wrong girls. a lot of girls just don't see guys in THAT way it doesn't mean anything is literally wrong with you. I hope you find some luck :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • What's your general approach when talking to girls?
    How do you text them? How often? How do you ask them out?

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    • I talk to them normally, I don't hit on them, I don't come up with pickup lines, or do anything that could be considered creepy (I can be a pretty cheesy guy though). Yesterday I held the door open for this girl. She was studying at the same time as me and happened to leave same time too. I simply asked, "You cramming for anatomy too?" We had a small conversation as we walked back to the dormitories. Just small talk. I made her laugh some, and got her snapchat. So I got that going for me... Which is nice. When I'm texting a girl I think I do pretty well. My banter is on point, and sarcasm to match, and they seem to be into it. But when I eventually ask them out, It's always the same response. "Oh sorry, I only think of you as a friend." or they flake. For all intensive purposes, I don't do anything that would be clingy or weird when texting or interacting in general.

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    • Haha thanks man! The number one problem with texting is that people never know when to stop until the conversation is completely dead and it leaves this awkward pause where someone is left to ignore the other. It's completely fine wanting to know what the other person is up to but never say: "what's up" it's so dated, overused and boring. When I wanted to ask her about her week, I brought something slightly more exciting to the table, I said: Hey,____! Yesterday I had just about the biggest shrimp of my life when I went to this restaurant with some friends, I don't think I'll be able to eat for a couple of day lol... then she said: Oh really nice of you to think of me haha (teasing of course).. then I said: I planned on getting you some but I couldn't resist :D then I asked her about her week, she told me some things, I teased about some decision and she did the same back to me then I said: Oh I have to go to class now but we should hang out soon... She agreed, we made plans

    • ... On another occasion and the important part is I cut off the conversation at it's high point which leaves with good memories of me lol (it's weird but dating is a freaking mind game man haha)

  • heck there are people aged 23 and older who are still single, always have been

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  • You want clarity, be forthcoming. It is impossible for people who do know you to fully discern and give an educated response with such marginalized information. You will have to be more specific to even have a chance at someone being able to recognize a tendency or issue and conclude an intellectual response which will help you.

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    • My, quite the intellectual use of wording there my friend. To answer your question, I think I'm just normal. I'm a cheesy guy, I don't hit on girls, I'm not clingy, and I don't play games with them when I text. I'm just me. Sarcasm is my game, and I'm not awkward when interacting with people. I don't really know how much more detail you need, except an example of how I talk. But like I said. Normal, add a little bit of fun sarcasm, and nothing too weird.

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    • I was definitely friend zoned by these girls. I never hit on girls in person really. Normally I'm just chill, sarcastic, and I can keep a conversation going. I feel awkward when I hit on them, I feel like they're going to get weirded out by me. I don't really act, or look, like a guy that would hit on a girl either. Normally what I do when I flirt is tease them... Sarcastically of course. I tease them about something they said, or what they're wearing etc.

    • There is sarcasm and overly annoying sarcasm as in it is constant and is replacing genuine contact. Be aware of that. "Hitting" on a girl should be defined by my standards. Using pickup lines, randomly conjuring some moronic narrative or anything of the sort will never get a guy anywhere 9/10 times unless the girl is either wasted or desperate.

      However, direct communication based on sarcasm and being funny is a different matter entirely as women, the vast majority of women, prefer men who can talk and socialize as many of us can't. In other words, you have to give some sign and indication there is interest or the girl will walk away thinking "he was so funny... but he didn't show any interest" which I think is the issue here. There is absolutely nothing wrong with low end flirting being mixed into your manner. Be sarcastic, add a compliment, be sarcastic again, talk about your favorite movie, buy a drink for you both, be sarcastic, casually bring up going to see the movie. Win.

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