Would you "wait" for her?

If she wants to wait until marriage to have sex, would you wait, or move on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would probably even date a girl that wouldn't want to wait until marriage. I value virginity and I'm doing so myself, it's really great that you are waiting and we need more women like you!

    ps. Don't get discouraged but the comments, the right guy will totally respect your decision.

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    • If someone wants to wait there's nothing wrong with that, but you imply that it's a good thing to want to wait (That is presumably you think others ought to want to wait)? Why do you think this?

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    • @Tdieseler you are right but some people also lie. I hate how everyone has this artificially created idea of virginity. I didn't lose my virginity until 23 and I'm still the same person. My penis is still intact, so is my body and mind. The longer the wait, the more of your life is wasted not having that intimate/enjoyable experience. That's the way I see it at least.

    • and experience is what counts these days... thats why im not marrying a virgin. Might as well let her know that im going to have sex with someone else before and after marriage. Not all virgins are pig headed though, but a whole bunch of them are, two virgins I've been with scared ME... I think I've written or asked a question about this before

What Guys Said 105

  • It depends on how long the engagement is. I am not waiting 10 years to have sex. We would also need to reach a point we're we could at least talk about our sexual needs so we could know if we were compatible sexually.

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    • this is so funny. i wonder how that meeting would go. 'umm, honey, we need to talk about our sexual needs'. lol

  • Any guy who wouldn't is not worth your time, hon.

    They are self- eliminating problems. Deny them sex and they will walk away. Any man who who would to skip being a man and putting the time in to get to know, love, and make a life commitment to you is not worth dating.

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  • Definitely move on, because marriage is an arbitrary social construct, which just means she is enough of a gold digger that she is unwilling to trust me unless I buy her two expensive rings and a banquet. I never understood the idea behind how females are capable of romanticizing the idea of "withholding intimacy" and making marriage be all about nothing but a license for sexual activity. If you are committed in your partner, you should be okay with having sex with them as well, with or without bureaucratic pacts. Alas, this is like DRM - I would rather just look elsewhere.

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    • I... kind of get what you're saying.

      You're saying that a girl should have sex with you before marriage if she trusts you enough? That's fair enough logic.

      But the problem is, you can't trust everyone, and you can't know whether to trust someone until you've spend a considerable amount of time with them. So asking a girl who's known you for three months to have sex with you, because you might as well be married, is kind of ridiculous. Just like asking someone about marriage after being together for three months is kind of ridiculous.

      And coming to your gold digger comment, that's just off base entirely. From what you're saying, any woman who wants to save themselves for after marriage is simply using their virginity as a trade for a guy's money, which is absurd. I'm saving myself until marriage, and I'm a male who fully expects to pay for rings.

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    • A bit of an unrefined view of marriage, but I agree in principle. +1

    • @Metlahead I have no problem with the idea of marriage for the sake of establishing a pact of commitment, but making it be a license for sexual activity is silly to me. :P

  • Of course. If she is worth the wait, I would definitely respect her decision. Yes sex is important, but it isn't the only thing that matters when loving someone. Love goes deeper than any physical connection. A true man will value your virginity because it takes a real woman to stand by her beliefs and to not have her legs open for every guy she fancies.

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  • IT seems that you are struggling with this. You are young - most guys who date you now are not thinking marriage. IF you have reasons for waiting, stick to your beliefs. If a guy loves you enough to marry you, he will wait because he will want you for something more than sex. HOWEVER - do not be surprised if this drives off a lot of guys. Today most guys expect sex with dating in a realtively short time. If you will not "put out" they will go else where. ALSO - if a guy says he loves you and pressures you, he does not love you more than he loves sex. You are taking a stance that, in this time, is not very popular. Anyway, if you want to email here, feel free, I will be happy to answer ytour questions.

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  • If I loves her then YES I can wait forever.

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  • Eh probably not because I'd want to know if we are sexually compatible before marriage.

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  • If she's a girl you have unconditional love for, I would sacrifice sex and wait until marriage with her, I mean Im not a virgin but I would wait because I love her and respect her decision. If you can't repect that and have a mature approach about it then move on it's that simple.

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  • I would move on.
    Sexual incompatibility will destroy most relationships, so why sign a "lifetime" contract and take a huge chance that she will be compatible?
    It's not worth risking my financial future to be stylish.
    I would really be unhappy, if say I waited two or three years, went through the wedding BS, and then found out on my wedding night that she wouldn't do this or that, something that I had waited years for, then denied and "no way out".
    What REALLY annoys me , is that if she won't do something, and you really want it, they won't let you go elsewhere for it.
    Yeah-sign me up for that one...

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  • I'm only myself wanting to wait like a year or two, but yeah I'd wait until marriage of it was her thing. As long as we do subordinate stuff before then, though.

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  • Believe me on this one, many relationships today is nothing about sex. couples become couple because of that very thing, relationships today's isn't as pure as its use to be. today some only seek for a relationship so that they could have sex and release some pent up stress. believe me, it felt so good to love someone who knows how to wait. find someone who can wait until you are comfortable enough. and truthfully. I think its much more exciting to love a woman who wants to wait for marriage before they have sex. because that way, you will have something to expect. because that way it would be much more romantic and special, while the others it's just normal for them. but for those who waits for marriage. believe me, its worth it. Even though I am a guy I know that girls should treasure that experience. wait for her. don't pressure her, and if he continue to bug you about it. then he's not the one for you. as it showed that he will not wait for you and he isn't willing to marry you.

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    • hahah, I am not surpized to hear this from an otaku. NIce saying bro. I couldn't agree more with u. :)

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    • Yeah, I know it's actually very rude words in the japanese language. it litteraly means that you only watch anime all the day and have no life. :P LOL, I know I should not use it, but here in the West it's have become a common thing to call a animefan an otaku. But sorry about it. :P I hope you know that I didn't mean it like that. I guess I should rather call you an animefan? :)

    • don't worry. no harm done. well I could be considered a fan as I usually watch one during my free time, but it's not like I am devoting my self into it. I just do so to pass time. maybe once in a week.

  • Yes indeed, but that means she's got to agree to sex me everyday, set aside, her monsterating, for the next year till I'm sick of it, and shed have to make that pact with me...

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  • Heh. I don't like to mix sex and marriage. When I'm getting married (if I do), I'll be thinking about spending time with her, maybe start a family, not really thinking sex... I don't want to marry someone whose gonna be so different from me sexually that I'll be tempted to cheat. Rather avoid that mess.

    I'll wait until she's comfortable and trusts me, but marriage is not something I take lightly whereas sex is mostly pleasure to me.

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  • no way i dislike that. i'd tell her how dumb it is to save yourself till marriage (marriage is EQUAL with electric chair imo) and then leave her.

    i'd not waste all my life to be with her in an invisible prison cell!!!

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    • Man I feel sorry for you, you don't understand marriage at ALL. :(

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    • I guess we all have different opinion, but I don't see marriage like that. If you want to marry someone then you are truly to her and only her and I think that's a good thing. I don't know how it's for you, and sorry about calling you spoiled person, but a virgin like me that hates to go to parties and sleep with random girls I never seen before, see marriage as something good. You can settle down with the one you love and do everything with her.

      I don't see why marriage is such a bad thing. For me it would be more right to have one girl you truly love and only her than sleep with dozen of random girls you have hooked up on a party.
      But I guess we all are different and I shall respect your opinion. :P

    • We don't always agree Klaatu51 but I like this one hahahah.

      I also want to know which girl upvoted because I think I would like her a lot too.

  • Depends on the "marriage". if she is holding out for a ring, ceremony, and signing some legal documents then no. But I don't view that as marriage. To me marriage is when two people vow to be loyal to each other. Marriage is a connection of souls, not a show for the public. Its when two become one. If she is waiting for that the of course im willing to wait. Sex is fun but it isn't love. if she wants that connection that we won't nothing more that for the other to be happy then I will wait till the end of time if I feel I want that connection myself. Of course that may explain why im single. im not chasing sex, im looking for someone that I feel like I can be completely open to because she is open to me. And I don't need a ring and a paper to tell me im truly married to her

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  • Totally because I am as well.

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  • My fiancee and I are both waiting for marriage (we are both virgins, and Catholic).

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  • I would nothing wrong with it, would show the girl at least is no rush to have sex and is willing to wait till marriage.

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  • I would wait, no question. Call me a prude, but I am faith-bound to insist that we both abstain until the proper time and sex will complicate any relationship that isn't both permanent and committed anyway. Those who start will find that it hurts to stop and divided sexual loyalties will ravage the capacity for trust.

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  • Unless she was ok with oral VERY often, no.

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  • I'd wait if I loved her and I had other physical needs filled in to tide me over. If our sex drives don't line up, then I would move on. Nothing worse than one person wanting to makeout and the other person just isn't "feeling it". Sex/sexual needs matters

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  • doesn't sexual compatibility factor into your idea of someone you want to spend the duration of ur life with? I mean for real there are a steadily rising number of reproductive mutations and what not world wide... no lie. just saying, but i mean to each their own. I am genuinely curious about the compatibility issue just on mundane things like sex drive and frequency desired can have real impacts on the quality of a marriage

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  • I would wait because if I truly loved her I would respect her decision

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  • It would probably put me off, not because I couldn't handle not having sex, I'm not that shallow, but people who want to wait until marriage to have sex are usually doing so because of deeply held religious beliefs, and as a committed secular humanist I don't think I'd be very compatible with a devoutly religious person.

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  • I am not sure if someone else had pointed this out before, but one factor can be more powerful than what either one of you may "want"; it's the fact that you are together, or presumably so. If you're both cooled down and agreeing to an unannounced moral code regarding your sexuality which obstructs intercourse or any other sexual act, then both of you are going to subconsciously hold onto that moral code without any feelings of deprivation. In short, so long as you're compatible from the start and on good terms; i. e. averagely attached lovers, neither of you would have the will to jump off.
    A more concrete answer in the same field of this perspective is that couples do naturally adjust; you sexual desires as well, thus if he's really into it then he might as well convince you before you will worry about him going away.

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  • i would wait because i'm the same way. sex is for a married couple.

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  • If I could imagine spending the rest of my life with her then yes

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  • Nope. I want a woman who wants me rather than a contract merging our legal status. If she won't have me for me, why would I want to for a lifetime irrevocable contract to only ever be with her?

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  • No, I'm willing to wait, but there's a thing called sexual chemistry.

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  • I'm still a virgin. You do the math

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 11

  • YES! That's a biggy for me! I'm saving myself for marriage, but if that person is ready and not pressured into it then I no opiníon on it

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  • If I was a guy I would. Even if a guy didn't want to get physical until marriage I would wait, but I do see disadvantages in this kind of thing.

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    • Yes there are disadvantages, but it's a decision I have made, and I plan to stick with it.

  • I know how you feel. When I was younger I dated a few guys who friend zoned me the moment they found out. I learned a lot from it. I learned that they weren't the guy for me. It helped me find the one who is. My point is the right one will. The jerks won't.

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  • Guys, find her vibrator!
    XDD

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  • I only date poly so that situation is probably never gonna happen, lol. But if she wanted to wait for like a super long time I would be totally fine with that, sex isn't something I demand in all of my relationships, or even any of them per se. I would wait for her :)

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    • This was my answer! Kind of... in different words... less appealing words. When do you move to Canada anyway?

  • if you love her and value her yes and you are so lucky to have her.

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  • If you truly love her, wait. Wait forever if you have to.

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  • You're on the right way according to me :)

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  • Guys on here are so dumb and can only think about sex

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    • hey, I resent that. not all guys are like that, but I could see your point as it is justified for there are guys like that, but don't assume that all guys are like that. there are those who was still looking for a pure relationship, guys like that are rare this days but they still exist.

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    • Jerking off to what? @metlahead
      There's nothing sexual about what I said

    • I was being facetious due to the ignorance of your comment.

  • Ofcourse. We'd be waiting together.

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  • If you are with a guy and he does not want to wait for sex until marriage don't expect him to change. So many women these days feel self entitled. Waiting for sex does not entitle a guy to fall in love with you or marry you. And the same with a girl having sex too early. It does not entitle the men to fall in love with them. The same with men. Being a nice to a girl does not entitle her to be your girlfriend and the same with waiting for sex until marriage for a guy. It doesn't entitle the girl to magically fall in love with him

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    • There is nothing wrong with waiting but Im tired of men and women on here expecting a reward from a person. He/she is not entitled to anything.

    • Amen. Finally, a sensible person. Waiting is just a social pressure from religion, I don't know anyone who waited otherwise. "waiting until you're ready" is the only right way.

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