A year ago this guy liked me but I told him straight up that I was only interested in him as a friend. Every so often he would still ask to hang out, but half the time I would blow him off because I felt he was still trying to date me and I didn't want to lead him on. However, I felt bad because I do genuinely value him as a friend and enjoy his company.
Anyways he just texted me asking if I would come over to his apartment to watch a movie with him around 4pm when he gets off work tomorrow. Should I go? I just feel really bad always making excuses! What should I say back? Does this scenario seem like a "more than friends" hangout, or can I go and keep it friendly? I really don't want to lead him on, but I don't want to be mean to him. The signals I got the last time I was with him told me he still has feelings, but I also don't want to make the assumption that he still likes me when he could just want to be my friend. And I can't lie to him (by saying I have a boyfriend...etc) because we go to the same college and he will find out. Thanks!
I am 19 btw
Most Helpful Guy
Oh for christ sakes. This is the kind of bullshit dishonesty that causes guys to think that women are dishonest, and your avoidance is what makes guys think twice about ever asking a girl out.
Ok so you feel bad making excuses? Fine! Stop making excuses. There is always the chance he just wants to be your friend. Some guys can get over a girl. So you here have the option of either telling him you rather not because you feel uncomfortable about him, because he asked you out, or going to his place watching the damned movie and just let whatever happens happens. It isn't rocket science dear. Just hanging out with a guy isn't leading him on. It's fine. If he tries to pull something then you have yet another opportunity to just shoot him down and then explain it to him in great detail what the problem is. Telling him that you're not interested, and really wish that he'd stop.
Let me ask you, is a little direct, open and honest dialogue with a person really so hard? I mean everyone says they want honesty, but frankly I'm seeing less and less people engaging in it. Seriously just drop the bullshit, and then either be his friend or tell him what's what, or both. But don't ask us to give you ideas on how to lie to him or ask us how you can come up with more lame fucking excuses on how to keep avoiding him. Not only is it completely pointless but frankly if you did you'd makes you seem sad pathetic, dishonest, unlikable and entirely unsympathetic.
This situation seems plainly like a simple friend get together to me, so take him up on his offer or don't, you choose. Whatever you do just be honest for a change.
Try it out. Good luck.2
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