So, I have been seeing this guy for a little while now and we both admit that we have never felt this way about another person. He is perfect (for me that is). Everything about us just clicks, naturally. I told him that he should ALWAYS be honest with me because that is the way I want my relationships to work.
He came to me, in a fit of this honesty, and told me that his ex wants him back. This was his first girlfriend, his first love. They dated in college and then she dumped him for another guy. Then YEARS later, they got back together and were together for 4 years and it ended, kind of badly, but they are still "friends."
He told her about me and she said that she realized that she may not have another opportunity to tell him that she wants another chance.
He says that he is confused because he knows we are perfect for one another and that he couldn't ask for anything more in me. That his feelings for me are real and that he knows we could make each other happy. BUT he doesn't know why he is still attached to this other woman. He has asked me to bare with him while he figures it out.
He sends me emails and texts all the time, telling me how important I am to him and how wonderful I am and how I shouldn't be afraid... but... if there was no reason to be afraid and I'm so wonderful, why is he confused?
So, stay and fight for a man I know I am in love with or cut and run because he is clearly not decided on me?
Most Helpful Guy
Tell him to figure out what kind of girl he wants, give him the time. If he can't even figure that out, and take the easy way out and say, "I want both", then you know what to do.
Don't compete for him, because that only escalates his price, as in an auction. It also makes you cheap. Although he is being treated like a commodity (i.e. a dead object, a trophy), he does get the advantage of playing both sides. Competition turns a relationship into war, the ego put on facades, use lies, manipulation, smokescreen ...etc, any means is justifiable to the ego, which worries nothing but survival.
Your boyfriend should realiaze what kind of ex he has gottten himself, especially if he has told her about you ---- a selfish girl who builds her own happiness on other's pain, namely yours. Remember, she dumped him too. If he is smart, he would realiaze how lucky he got off the hook last time.
If his ego is so stupid that it is thinking, "Now I can finally have her", and walk back into the same old trap, then let him suffer more tortures and learn his lesson, since he hasn't learnt it. You lose nothing valuable. Who wants to hang around with someone as stupid as this?0