Ruined something that was going great. How to get past it?

Yes, I asked this before. I didn't get any helpful answers.

This past summer, I was in an accident that nearly killed me. Next day, I met this girl on Facebook who I wasn't entirely sure if I was attracted to. We had a lot in common; both draw and write (same genre, even). Huge geek, didn't do drugs. Now, I had my doubts because I wasn't sure if I was physically attracted to her, she isn't in school or working (claimed to be working on that), she constantly bashed cops. I had a problem because my dad was a cop. So, she posted something, I overreacted, and she apologized on hours end. I stopped replying for a little while, then I told her it didn't offend me, to keep her from feeling bad. After a month of getting to know each other, we hung out. We went to lunch. Days later, she admitted she liked me. I felt indecisive, so I told her I wanted to take things slow. I took her for dinner on a Friday night, and she kissed me unexpectedly. She left cash in my car, which I gave back once I found it. I was the first guy to take her out. I felt something holding me back. 2 months go by, we're still talking, she sends hearts (I sent smileys, stupidly), tags me in a lot of her posts. We were planning on going to FrightFest. Then, her best (and only other) friend moves, she's depressed. I felt myself catching feelings, and after two weeks of not having seen each other (due to school) I finally kissed her. I wanted take things a step further. She kept talking about her mom wanting to meet me. Then, she posts something anti-cop. She tried explaining. In my anger, I cancelled a date we had set up. I tried apologizing, but she was hurt. Day after, she broke up with me, because I snapped like that before. She disappeared, I sent a paragraph, then unfriended her because I thought she wanted nothing to do with me. Then, she texts me bugging out that I shut her out and she still wanted to hang out. I tried explaining, but she kept insisting I don't want her in my life.

Updates:
After she texted me about me cutting her out of my life, she was posting about being depressed, lonely, missing someone who doesn't miss you, missing someone who doesn't want you in their life...
Two weeks later, she starts dating this junkie I went to high school with... I'm guessing he's a rebound. Not in school or working. And he's got a criminal record... I just feel like, I should've reciprocated her feelings sooner. I should've let my guard down. I didn't know what I had, until it was gone. Now, if she gets involved in whatever this scumbag is in, it's gonna be on me... 1) How do I get over this guilt, if she won't even speak to me? 2) How can I move on, and find someone like her?

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What Girls Said 1

  • You have to understand what you did wasn't wrong, whats done is done.
    urgg complaining over Facebook about you ditching her? ridiculous and melodramatic.
    Maybe she shouldn't have been so shitty about cops, I'd understand her saying she doesn't like a certain cop but its kind of fucked up to hate on the entire group of people.. generalizing shit like that.
    You did what you thought was best for her, and if she's gonna tell you what YOU thought then she's so irrelevant cause only you would know your intention!!
    It was just unfriend, who knew it was such a big deal and the world would end over the littlest thing.
    Try to find someone who you can connect better with, don't "Try to find someone like her" that's silly, just try to find someone who can better fit your needs and who isn't a " i post ALL my problems over Facebook girl" Try to find someone not as connected with the internet..

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    • Scary that you're under 18, and are more mature than she is. Heh. My thing is, I just feel like, now she's throwing her life away, and I could've kept that from happening. And by someone like her, I meant someone else who draws and writes, and likes comics and video games and shit... Honestly, I mean, yeah, she wasn't perfect, she wasn't in school or working, but I had more fun with her than anybody else I've been with. Mostly because we had so many common interests. And most of the people I have common interests with are either taken, or... as much as I hate to say it, I just don't feel I'm what they want.

    • I know it's practically involuntary to feel bad cause she's throwing her life away, but you have to keep in mind she's a big girl, she's old enough to be able to independently make decisions in her life. If you want to find someone to be with and you say you feel like you aren't what they want then that sucks.. it sounds sad, i wouldn't think like that cause that isn't a good mind state when you mingle. Go to try to meet girls at bookstores or a place where you will surefire find someone who has at least one of your common interests.

    • Also, i wouldn't say it's scary. I'm just a fairly rational type of person, if i may say so myself.

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