How to avoid becoming a booty call?

I met a guy through eHarmony website. we had one date texted for few days after. once he asked me why I'm not inviting him to my place. I said because I don't know you! Few weeks later after not having heard from him at all he invited me to his place obviously I rejected him by saying sorry I won't come to your place until I know you. he invited me out for dinner but I already had plan on that night. during one of our texts he asked me to sent him a photo and I said no. few months passed he went overseas but he kept msging me via Viber and said that he really likes me and he really enjoyed holding my hand in that one and only date we had. But he said you have a very soft hand it means you have a soft breast too. I was really shocked. I told him that my brain is telling me to say goodbye to you. after few months texting on and off he asked me out again I had plan. but the night after a lizzard came to my bedroom while we were texting he asked my address and come to the rescue. I kinda wanted to meet him as it was more than 3 months and we had met only once and I was the one who couldn't accept his invitation twice. he sprayed the room and we went for a walk on the bay-side in front of my place. It was very romantic we held hands and we sat on a bench and he put his head on my lap and we kissed. then he came back to my unit killed the poor lizzard and we kissed again but I didn't let him to go any further I pulled his hands away and told him it's too soon. it was 12 midnight and he stayed in my place I gave him a blanket and he slept on the couch. in the morning he kissed me again and went to work and I went to work and now every time he texts he wants to come to my place or me go to his place. It hasn't happened yet but I am worry to become his booty call. That was what he wanted from the beginning. how can I make him to take some efforts and take me out. How can I make sure he wants me to be his girlfriend so we both stop dating others as we both do and we both know

Updates:
Hey everybody! I need help again please. I texted this guy after a week and invited him for a coffee during the day. He thanked me very nicely and said he would loved to but he is in the airport going to NZ, He wasn't at all like why you didn't answer me or anything. I replied back by have a safe trip and enjoy. A day after he texted me on Viber and said he wish I was there and I said thanks. still in NZ he texted me again and asked for a photo of me and said he misses me so much
He was really nice and I sent him a normal photo of my face and he sent me a photo of his lips kissing me. I just sent him a smile face. He said that night was amazing kissing you and I said yes it was but I kinda regretted it and he was like why and I said because after that you only text me at nights and he said no I want to see you I feel the connection with you. We should celebrate when I came back (Because I have changed my job for better) I should have leave it at that but I talked extra

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well my advice is RUN !!! He is wanting this sex too fast, and working you for it when your not ready, you will learn that if a dude needs to push up on you with sexual lines, and rushing you to open your home to him , he is up to know good. Obviously you like this dude, so if you don't want to be another notch on his belt make his lizard killing ass wait, until you feel your ready, and he at least took you out on 12 good dates. If he likes you he will wait, tell him you don't want to get into a sexual relationship, that you reserved it for your future boyfriend, want the job, train for it. Leave it at that. Most men, like myself tell a girl up front, I'm looking for fun, hooking up, and nothing serious. Test him, ask him if that's what he wants, and if you don't want it keep it pushing. My advice leave this guy alone, he sounds more slippery than the lizard he killed. Just saying 😐

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    • Thanks a lot for your advice. He texted me again late night and wanted to meet me and I didn't reply at all. He's last text was I do not understand why you are not answering me.
      Now my question is that should I explain to him and tell him because you only message me at nights and only want to meet me in my place or is it very obvious and he actually knows why I am not replying.

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    • physical with you and then date someone else. I like to experience dating with you. I want my hart and my brain both wants to be with you. then he kissed me so hard. and then he kissed me again and again until I kissed him back. but I backed off after. we walked back home as it was hot. at home he took his shirt off it was really hot. and he kissed me again I said hey what I was talking about the whole time? he said my brain doesn't work now. I told him last night you made me wait for more than 2 hours if you had little respect for me you wouldn't do it. he said sorry. Then he kissed me. I went to change my shirt ( too hot) he came to the room I had my skirt on and a bra only. he hold me and then he lifted me up and put me in the bed (God knows how much I wanted him) but I fondle his hair and told him that I am sorry but I am not joking. I can not make love to him when my hart hasn't been touched. He said that tonight is his birthday and from all these people that wanted to be with him

    • he chooses me. then he garbed his shirt and said with smile (but of course he was hurt) he said that he understates what I am saying. I said I want a relationship and there is nothing wrong if you want just sex but I am not the one for it. I told him please do not go like this let sit watch a movie and eat popcorn together. and he said no it is my birthday and i want to enjoy my night (all the time answering birthday msgs on his phone). He said goodbye and left. He did not force anything to me, he did not even touched my boobs even that I was with my bra only he said I am so beautiful and so sexy. he did not get angry or grumpy. He left with a smile on his face. and I feel terrible. It is over.. please tell me if I made a huge mistake or what I did was right or he is going to ever call me again and ask me out. After I saw his reaction I love him even more and I want him even more. ohhh he is perfect for me.. and I lost him.. please help me.. :'( :'( :'(

What Guys Said 4

  • So what's the problem now? From what I read in the update he isn't after a booty nor did he ask you for nudes... if you want more relationship wise then you have raise the bar for him to meet, make him take you out on more dates, you can set up times earlier in the day that won't end up in hooking up at night etc...

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    • The updates are not complete I sent the complete story as comments to the previous conversations. It was the only way to over come the no typing more than 1000 or 2 updates per week issue. Can you please read those ones and help me for his birthday? thanks

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    • You're welocme!

    • Hi can I please ask you to read my comment under the 'Wisenguber' opinion. I write the whole story of what has happened between us last night and I really need help.
      Thanks in advance

  • what is wrong with being a call?

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    • Isn't it demeaning to the woman? To just want sex from her when she's expecting a relationship? Now if both agree to just be fuck-buddies then yeah, but she was expecting something else.

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    • If he hasn’t contacted me till then should I text him for his birthday or should I just forget he exist? If yes what is the best way of handling his birthday?

    • handle it like you would normally

  • Yes, he's trying to make you his booty call. Leave him. He's not boyfriend material.

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    • Thanks but have you read the updates and the updates continues in the comments section? Can you please read those ones as well and let me know if you still believe he wants me only for sex. Your opinion counts. Thanks

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    • If you decide to pursue him, then keep your guard up at all times. I'd have to meet him to be sure. This guy is someone to be careful with.

    • Hi can I please ask you to read my comment under the 'Wisenguber' opinion. I write the whole story of what has happened between us last night and I really need help.
      Thanks in advance

  • 'why keep trying though if you sense this is wrong? you met the guy online, what do you expect? you went on that website thinking you are going to find someone special. Wrong. He got on the site to find girls to fuck. And that probably is what 90% of those on that website look for.
    You might not be the only one he is talking to and trying to convince to give in to him.
    Never been on a dating website because i can get girls differently. Never hid behind a screen selling them something that i am not. This guy clearly is a creep and will use your body and then move on. Who knows you might also find a video on the internet or get pregnant

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    • Thanks for your comment but I do not agree about the eharmony website. people really make effort and pay for the website it is not like a hookup websites.
      These days no boy will ask you out in the middle of a street or in the train because they all have their head into their phone and they don't even notice you next to them.
      The only way seems to be websites...

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    • you should contact him for his birthday and see what happens from then on.

    • Will do. Many thanks :)

What Girls Said 1

  • nothing is wrong with you... or with him. It's not fair to turn a girl who wants a relationship into a booty call, and it doesn't make sense to force a guy who only wants to have sex to go on dates and pretend to want something he doesn't really want...

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    • Thanks. Good point.

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    • I made him sad and he was like why are you saying this now? haven't we talked about it already and I was like I just wanted to share my feelings with you (I know.. huge mistake) no reply then I said yeah it wasn't really right to say it now.. again no reply.. then I sent him another picture of my face and said are we friend again? With a smiley and he said yes but then he said goodnight very fast but with a small kiss emoji. I was so worry that he is not going to talk to me again
      But he send me a text a day after asking how I am doing and talked about his trip and when he is going to come back. But the day after that nothing from him and I haven’t said anything. After a day of no contact I sent him a good morning text and commented about his new Viber profile pic. He replied and said he is in the airport and will arrive in the afternoon. So he is back now but hasn’t contacted me yet and I can wait a week or so but the problem is that his birthday is in 2 days. If he hasn’t contacted

    • If he hasn’t contacted me till then should I text him for his birthday or should I just forget he exist? If yes what is the best way of handling his birthday?

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