Friends with benefits or something real?

We've been together for almost 3 months now. We were both new to the city we live in, met up and it stuck. We see each other usually about twice a week (we have strange schedules) and text in between. If I text him he messages back with in 5-10 mins usually. Not long conversations but a "Hey, how's it going?" or whatever. We go out on dates but mostly it's dinner and hanging out at one of our apts. He's met my friends at my birthday party which he asked me if he could come too (I was totally going to invite him anyway)., I've met his roommate in passing but none of the people he works with.
The other day he asked me if I was going to have sex with anyone when I went home for Christmas, I said no and asked him the same question to which he replied no as well. This lead into a brief relationship conversation where he said that we weren't official we both agreed that we like the other and we like being together. I told him that my dealbreaker was -official or not- if he slept with other people it's over -- and he said, Ok, I understand.
He didn't add anything to the conversation or his dealbreakers or anything.

He keeps making plans for after Christmas - like we'll go to this restaurant or we'll do this thing.

So is this progressing into something real (even though he said "Not official") or is it just FWB?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Break it up, because even if you two like each doesn't mean you should resolve to being friends with benefits, yeah, you two like each other but did you two tell each other that you love each other? and I mean genuinely love each other, because if not you are only degrading yourself. don't, save yourself for someone who you will truly love. someone who will tell you that he loves you and will wait for you, relationship that starts early with sex tends to end early too. and believe me, it will be you who will regret it in the end. as him if he loves you and not like you and if he could wait for things such as sex, geez its too early for you, its only been three months. don't let yourself sink so low, treasure yourself more. remember there are people who treasures you more than you do yourself.

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    • remember a woman's love is pure and undistracted but the same couldn't be the same as a man's, that is why you must follow your own path, because a guy can never truly know is his love is true or just his libido, women are pure beings and as thus have no such problems in identifying true love. while the guy didn't know if what he feel is love or just lust.

What Guys Said 3

  • I vote hea lonely and you're there

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  • Nothing real.

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  • Its not real yet but I'm sure he's with other women too. It could turn into something real one day

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What Girls Said 1

  • See this is hard because friends with benefits dont have respect for eachother its just sex but he is meeting the requirements you are setting and this could mean more i dont do friends with benefits. But while on topic could i ask? Right Now my x is in Aberdeen he invited me up to stay and my friends, family own a restaurant there and he said he was going to go the other night with a friend then he said to me on the phone lastnight "i just couldn't go i knew it would upset you if we didn't go together so I went somewhere else" now I thought that was sweet and he is coming home nxt week for Christmas and we are going out for dinner and he is staying with me that wkend we text all night every night and spent over an hour on the phone. Does it seem like he is after friends with benefits? I mean I've met his family he has never disrespected me but I don't know if he is after someone he feels comfortable with for sex or if he still cares about me? Sorry totally of topic but I don't do friends with benefits and never will so i want a clear answer so i know how to act nxt week

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