I Dont Think I'll Ever Get A Girl? (i'll tell you why)?

some of you may be thinking i suffer from low self esteem but im trying to look at the grim reality. No girls are interested in me and i have no female friends. I have no idea how to make friends. I work at a retail store and there's 4 girls to every guy its a big store but none of them have made an attempt to chat with me. Im ugly skinny and my face looks awkward from the sides i know this. Random people give me strange looks cause of this. but i can't help my appearance. And i know most girls wouldn't want a 56kg guy as there boyfriend. At best im probably a 2.5 out of 10. I work check outs and i get people acting rude towards me for no reason. Im always first to communicate with my work mates and start off and keep the convo alive most of the time. And im secretly hoping someone will ask about me instead of me asking them questions like how they are. how do u develop a friendship do you just talk to the same person even if she/he won't do the same. how does it escalate to going out after work and weekends? What i do know is that i lack female friends I've got none and I've never had a girlfriend all i see is guys getting in with girls all around me in parties/gathos/clubs/hanging out/snapchat/facebook and bringing them to there houses. Im 19 and everyone i know thinks im in my 20's like 25 or 23 should i still go for 17-18 year olds if i look a lot older than i am? one thing i know is most guys got with girls in highschool i didn't. its sad to think about it specially considering that through five years i spent less than an one hour talking to girls at highschool. i want this to change i know im ugly looking but what can i do change my situation ladies and gentlemen. Spending weekends doing nothing is boring and worse when you hear statuses about how good someone night was or what they done and its even worse when spend new years at home year after year.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are properly right; you know your situation way better than any of us.
    The question is not if you should workout and get confidence, because that won’t help you very much when the rest is not up to standard of the girls you want.

    I’ll say there are two effective way to go; 1. True acceptance of you situation and come to terms with the fact you will never find a girl, 2. Lower your requirements for a girl, until they are as low as it takes to get one.

    Workout and getting more confidence will increase the bar you can set, but they won’t be young, intelligent, kind, super models loving you for just who you are.

    Besides confidence is something you get based on success not failures, so you can’t just get confidence because girls likes it. Going to the gym and get muscles tones will be better than nothing, but you are not the type to try to sell yourself based on looks, so forget about getting into shape, will solve your problems because it won’t. Naturally you will be better of getting into shape for many other reasons, and it certainly won’t hurt you girls wise.

    I have seen this so many times, guy/girl wanting what they can’t realistically get, wanting what is beyond their reach; they have seen too many Hollywood movies to realize reality.

    You need to face reality, not getting another false hope.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Gosh reading this makes me wanna cry :/ I swear if I worked with you I'd talk to you regardless of how you looked and the fact that these assholes can't appreciate your efforts to make polite conversations just makes me wanna come over there and punch them in the face. I know we don't know each other but don't you dare put yourself down mister, you've got plenty of assets to offer so don't sell yourself short because some people are superficial bitches.

    I once read somewhere that to be happy you either have to make your reality better, or lower your expectations. Maybe in this case you should stop assuming that you have to have what your friends are having like a girlfriend to be happy. Because the truth is these are just petty ideals that won't matter in the long run.

    Your happiness shouldn't depend on having a female friend, it should depend on fulfilling your dreams and goals. I hate how society makes you believe that getting married and finding love is necessary to be happy, because it isn't, there are plenty of ways to achieve happiness without that stuff and all you need to focus on is doing what you enjoy and making the most of it. Hope it gets better for you, don't lose faith :)

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  • Hi there 😃 firstly I think it's awful that you feel this way about yourself.. You shouldn't put yourself down and hate yourself... Learn to love yourself and laugh off the flaws... People that talk badly about themselves and have low confidence tend to have people around them treat them like that... cos if someone sees that you are vulnerable in that way they will just treat you like crap... You can do things to boost your confidence like.. working out, go to the gym, do weights, maybe even get a personal trainer (they're not that dear) they will also help you build your confidence and help you look better, maybe you should get out of your job in the retail store and go further with your education? It's not that hard! I left school early and worked in a shop then a nursing home, realising I made a mistake and these are dead end jobs I'm now I'm going back to school to study English ... You can do anything if you really try!
    I know I went a little off subject but I think what you really need to do is make yourself happy and get the confidence you need before you can be confident in life and with girls... If girls see that you are happy, going somewhere, doing new things this will be of interest and also you can meet more people through sport and college...

    Hope this helps 😃

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    • the way i feel about myself is the results that i get. it sucks and im saying this teary eyed because i want to show how im a great guy. show a girl that i'll always be there and she can trust me and marry me. and during work at the checkouts most people can't look me in the eye. Im always polite to everyone but people avoid me and are rude then i feel angry. i want more relationships and social interactions. but I don't know how to do so.

  • Well first things first, you don't get approached because you don't seem approachable. And that has zero to do with your looks. From reading your paragraph I can tell that. You have to be confident. It has to show. Regardless of what you may think you look like or how people think you look. Most people probably don't approach you because you probably look defeated. You need to own who you are. So you may not look like a movie star. So what. You're you. And there's no one else out there like you and for that alone you're special. And unique. So own it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're awesome! There's no one else on the planet like you! And then believe it. Your confidence has to show. People like that. You gotta be comfortable being you. How you feel about yourself sets the tone for how others feel about you.

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    • Thank you for your kind words and help and may god bless you. i always do approach the other workers isn't that enough to say im approachable. my body language isn't negative i smile though its ugly but people avoid me. i always say hey whats up hows work has it been buzy but what else can i say or do to build this friendship.

    • You're welcome. And may He bless you too. People can see through that. It's obviously a facade. Look at how many times you've talked down on yourself or referenced yourself as ugly. Although you're smiling and talking to them what you really feel on the inside shows.

  • I'd date you if you know you were a little more confident. How about you screw what people think about you, start working out, eating healthy, put all of your effort into getting a good career (college) and start talking to the girls that you like instead of waiting for them to talk to you?

    You're skinny? Okay start working out

    You're shy? Start building up your confidence.

    A lot of people have it way worse than you honestly think about the world, people are born without limbs, or eye sight and yet they still find ways to be happy. Fix what makes you insecure and learn to live with what makes you unhappy because you can't change who you are and you're flaws are what makes you interesting.

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    • I'd date you if you know you were a little more confident.

      lol don't bullshit. Let's say he is the 2.5/10 he claims to be (aka hideous), you would NOT BE DATING HIM LOLL

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    • God bless you and thank you for your words. You have put a smile on my face and thats more than i could ask for :). I wish i had a woman like you in my life i would cherrish her and buy her flowers everyday after a long hard day of work.

    • Keep your head up!! :)

  • I know no one wants to hear this but change your appearance.
    Start working out, get super fit. Take care of your acne, get a new hair cut, change up how you dress.
    As for personality. I know guys that are unattractive but still have tons of friends and girls that like them. You just have to work on loving yourself and letting who you are on the inside show.

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    • Firstly Thank you for your input. But i dont think selling my swlf through looks will work. Even there isn't too much o could change. I wear dress up up shirts and suit pants and shoes to work - its a classy look. i look ugly regardless. Gaining weight will require time but im strongly focused on more important qualities to build relationships with. are looks a deal breaker with girls? I don't know but i what i do know is i have more to give.

    • If you're truly ugly, you could be ugly and ripped and well dressed or ugly scrawny and dressed badly. Your pick

  • So far, you've listed all the cons about yourself. Why don't you tell us what you DO like? :) There is most likely something that makes you worth it. For all you know, you could just be giving off that "don't speak unless spoken to" vibe. Maybe the girls (or other people) that you want to notice you, aren't the right people. If they won't give you a second glance, they probably aren't worth your time. Instead of foxusing on them, move on and find someone who IS interested. You may think that there isn't anybody, but that is because you might have done what others have done to you and turned a blind eye.

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    • I've listed all my cons because i feel thats what contributed to why im being avoided and all. my positives aren't given a chance to shine because most people have either made up there mind about or dont want to interact with me. I dont see how i can give off a bad vibe when im always first to say hi to everyone. so I've got to ask why i know im not physically appealing and far from it. but thank you for your comment anyways

What Guys Said 7

  • that... is very sad, and I feel you bro... I know how lonely and empty it is being alone in that way, as I am currently suffering the same way for almost five years now. albeit my reason is that I am not outgoing and rarely talk to others so it's probably my own fault. I don't really know what advice to give you. I am not a popular guy to be able to tell you that dressing good will make you attractive and I am not insensitive to tell you that just by being yourself girls will flock you. why don't try going into a blind dates. though there's only 40% chance out there, but its better that none. I'm sorry but I really don't know what to tell you, but don't sell yourself short. not because you have such awkward looks an you might look like ugly to others and to yourself. I am sure there will always be someone who will see past that, all you need is patience...

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    • Thank you brother for your kind words and may god bless you. i guess you can feel my pain thats been going on since highschool. the world moves really quickly and i dont know how much time i have on this earth but i want to change the state that im in, I've been patient for too long. Thank you for telling me not to sell my self short but i can't think highly my self because i haven't been successful.

    • but that doesn't justified the reason for you to look down on yourself, even though you weren't much successful, the fact your are trying is good enough reason to show you that you are making progress. have patience, do you think a king build his kingdom in just one day? no. so have patience and I know you can do it, just be confident in yourself. walk with your head held high and be proud of yourself. people will see how you carry yourself, and if they saw how confident you are and that you are not ashame of yourself, they will start approaching you. you trying is already a start, don't give up halfway. you can do it.

  • you'll never have a girl because you don't know how to separate paragraphs basically LOL

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    • If you want to talk about Grammer your on the wrong page. In the mean time though you did forget to add a capital to your comment and a full stop. Since this isn't an essay or an exam i dont see a reason to necessarily write in a formal way and i don't see why you expect me to. If my grammatical errors are all that concern you i dont need your opinion on my matters.

    • you can't take a joke eh?

  • It's EXTREMELY rare for girls to ask guys out. IF you want a girl, you need to fix your confidence levels, and start working out. Then approach girls.

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    • my confidence is alright but its much like a boxing ring. If it takes a battering it won't be as present as it once were. Im trying to gain weight as im already muscular but that'll take months to accomplish. i approach girls/guys but there isn't much to say after the hey how are you. i want it to develop beyond that but if i move to forward then it gets weird

    • There's plenty to talk about. especially at your age.

  • www.bodybuilding.com

    Best thing you could ever do

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    • I've seen it around but how would it help me?

    • It would change everything about you. Your body will be more fit, you will be more confident. Yes, even your face will change. People do get more handsome after getting bodybuilding. Why? Because it's a healthier lifestyle. Your face will fill out better, your skin will be better, you will look healthier and more attractive. Once you've got that, you've got a real solid base.

      Just go to a gym.

  • Find other ways to make you happy first. Improve yourself in as many ways as you can and be proud of who you are. Confidence will come with age. Hang in there brother.

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    • Thank you for your kind words and may god bless you. I dont have many friend so im always lonely. This makes me more sad being in a house all alone on your days off and weekends. I feel life is passing me by i read friends are going to the beach/parties having a gathering and more. i can't just self invite my self can i? won't i be intruding? i wanna be part of it meet and greet people but how dont know how to develop such relationships. Not to mention my face has become a burden to me.

    • Well I don't think inviting yourself is a good idea. I agree. But I do think there has to be some sort of sporting events, sporting venues to participate in, social clubs or gatherings that you can join and see what happens. Where do you live by the way?

  • I feel bad for you. Hope you get a good female friend.

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    • Thank you and may god bless you :)

  • Dude omg me too! It sucks

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