Do I have issues with money?

so growing up I've been taught to value money a lot and to never spend anything on stuff I didn't need. my parents always scared me with the idea of financial problems, debt, loan sharks etc and since then I've always been extremely cautious about how i invest.

recently i've been dating this really nice guy and he's extremely rich but that was ok until a few incidents happened where he'd spend crazy amounts of money on me and i ended up getting really mad at him. I know I should be appreciative and happy that he's doing all these expensive things for me but I just feel uncomfortable and anxious when he showers me with jewellery and stuff i don't need.

when I tell him that he doesn't need to buy me stuff to make me happy he just waves it off and i know it's because to him money means very little when you have loads of it which makes me agitated. I know it sounds stupid to get angry over it because he's only being nice but i don't know how to stop feeling this way other than blatantly telling him to stop. i need advice please :/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your parents meant well, but they probably did not give you the proper financial advice.
    I suspect you may be from a low-middle income family, as the behaviors your parents tried to teach you are inherent to low-risk takers who end up working average jobs with basic financial constraints. They taught you the importance of having good spending habits, but did they ever teach you how to grow the money that you earn?

    Every person spends based on their available income. If you have little money, you probably scrape by every week for rent and food. If you make $100,000/year, you won't have this problem and will spend more on better housing, food and entertainment. What your boyfriend considers as minor spending may be significant in your eyes, but not his.

    Rather than get mad at him, just let him know that you do not appreciate purchased gifts as much as you do personal, handmade gifts. My wife and I make over $150,000/year, and this Christmas, I bought her a present for the first time. I always made stuff for her by hand for birthdays, Christmas, etc, and she has done the same. They mean a lot more to me than a 70" LCD television or an expensive jacket.

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What Guys Said 3

  • This isn't about money it's about "Value".

    The connotative value of resources really has to match between partners for there to be a good background for the relationship financially which either ends up with one person caring for all the funds or a general malaise relating to money and monetary separation.

    Basically you two have very different resource philosophies which will breach various emotional and mental philosophies as well. His not listening and spending exuberant amounts of money, making you uncomfortable, for instance is a sign of general disrespect even though it's "in your favor" or "an act of kindness".

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  • If he loved buying you things why should he have to stop? You have to realize that money does have value yes but in 100 years when you are dead and gone would you have rather accepted the gifts from him lovingly an be happy with him or have gotten upset because he spent a little more than you thought was necessary? I will on occasion spoil my wife and spend a ton of money on her but that doesn't mean I'll go into debt over it and your boyfriend seems like a smart guy so I'm sure he knows how to budget like I do. Basically it all comes to this being smart with your money is a good thing but being frugal to the point you cause arguments is a problem. Honestly what is the point of living of you are always saving money scared that the "hard times" are coming because all that is going to do is keep you from living in the now and just hinder your own happiness. I hope that helps!

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  • just tell him your not into jewelry or you like hand made gifts. Or you could explain why it makes you uncomfortable.

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