My parents don't believe in interracial relationship?

I'm 21 years old, turning 22 in April; I'm Asian (Taiwanese). Recently.. I was dating this girl who is half German and half Mexican, white and brown mix. We are BOTH virgins. We started dating since 2008, we're in long distance relationship back then; I lived in Nevada and she lived in California. I went to California for college and met her in real life, we had great time back then.

I remember when I was in high school, my parents especially my mom gave me a talk about in the future I should date a Chinese or Taiwanese girl that have similar background, so we can speak the same language, in the same culture and like the same food, Taiwan is part of China. My dad are a little careless, but still don't like it. My mom are super against interracial relationships, she told me that; in the future, if I don't bring home a Taiwanese or Chinese girl; she'll disapprove.

I'm in California right now, and my parents live in Nevada. I never told my parents that I have a girlfriend right now; they think that I'm still single. And yes, they might flip out if I told them I'm in interracial relationship; especially my mom. How can I prepare for this? I don't want to lose her, and don't want to suffer with depression. I need help


Most Helpful Guy

  • I never understood what's the big deal with needing the acceptance of their parents about the person someone likes. Who cares if your parents don't like her? You do, that's the only thing that matters, not race, not your parents opinion, just yours.
    I understand the reason why people want their partner to be liked by their parents, but not why they have to determine whether you go out with her/him, or not.

    If you like her, and it makes you happy, then go for it. Plus, why do you have to even care what people that don't value your happiness say?

    • I agree, but it's old school. Parents want to control children's life

    • I now, that's why it's up to the children to put a stop to it and make their own decisions based on their opinions, wants and needs.

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What Girls Said 4

  • If your gf makes you happy then value your happiness. If your parents would rather control you and be content with your unhappiness just because they can't hand-pick the girl, then they aren't parenting right. A child's happiness, however they find it, should be the goal of the parent, period.

    • here's the reason they don't want me to date outside of my ethnicity
      1. They don't want to know about other culture
      2. they don't like their food and what they do
      3. language problem

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    • not exactly, it's very traditional. My parents want to communicate with their future daughter in law, and want her to be able to cook food from their home country. Instead of learning new culture, and new food formula

    • So your gf could learn. It still isn't a reason to sacrifice your happiness, if she makes you happy they should be willing to support you and accomadate that however they can. If they would be so against it and cause you to lose her then they don't value your happiness, that simple. Sometimes our parents aren't what we need them to be so we have to know in oursleves when to value and fight for our own happiness, even if that goes against what our parents want for us.

  • A girlfriend of mine is marrying her first generation Vietnamese-American boyfriend in 2015 after they faced the same issues. All I can say is, you should not have to apologize for who you love, and if you approach this like you do, then you are going to face a struggle. From talking to him, he said he faced definite concerns that his parents would flip out, but after all, sons are very valuable in Asian culture and they wouldn't think of 'cutting him off.' So he approached as if they had no choice but to love and accept her... and they do. The End. Best of luck to you both.

  • Look parents some at least are old school and close minded. But here is the thing, it's YOUR life. Do what makes YOU happy and if they are good parents they should be happy that you're happy with the person that treats you right and loves you back.

  • I know you would probably hear this multiply times... But I think you should follow your heart!! Parents can be scary! knowing that they can disown you and make you feel like you are the worst child that has ever has ever happen in history!! You shouldn't always let parents control your life to the point you will grow old without a wife nor grandchildren and just eating soup while watching a love story saying " I've should've kept that one girl who was special to me"...(just saying) and your parents will say "your to old now to have children!" "You're a bad son!" You never gave me grandchildren"! (Lol knowing that I am way younger than you are I don't have to worry about this yet.. About to enter high school... Nor am I Asian but I love Asian guys so I study on Asian culture I love k-dramas and c-dramas) but if you feel like that girl is very special to you to the point you can see your self with her for the rest of your life! Then go for her!!!


What Guys Said 3

  • How can anybody be opposed to interracial relationships?
    2 races= 2 cultures= 2 different types of food.

    More food is always better.

    • my parents don't want to know about other culture , and don't like their food. They think mexican foods are nasty and German food are bad

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    • Have they had proper Mexican or German food?

    • I don't think so, it's very traditional that they only like foods that are from the home country

  • I'm chinese and I am glad that my mom is very open, she is the coolest most open minded chinese mom you could meet. With that being said, I can't really relate to you except that I'm chinese, haha. Do what you gotta do man, you are an adult. The beauty of america is being able to dictate my own set of morals and standards. I'm not bound by tradition, rules or a life laid out for me, I choose where I want to go.

    Even if it meant being disconnected with my parents, I'd still choose my own road. If you're not living for yourself, you're not living life at all.

    • that's great. It's hard to find parents that are open minded like that. 我其实是台湾人,比如你说 的答案我是有点了解,但是我的家长没有像你的家长那样。

    • Sorry, my Chinese is so rusty now that I can't read anything LOL.

  • Fuck what the believe.