How do you deal with guys that hit on you passive aggressively?

A guy at my university is in my same major and so he's in plenty of classes with me. He's really creepy and always bothers me. He touches my back every time he talks to me, stands too close, puts his hand on the seat of my chair while sitting next to me, incessantly tries to make dinner plans with me despite my telling him that I have a boyfriend. How can I tell him to quit? It makes me very uncomfortable, but he does it in a passive aggressive way, that if I called him out on it, he'd probably be like "um, don't flatter yourself, I'm just trying to be friendly", when that's obviously not his intentions. So how can I get him to stop being creepy in as subtle of a way as he is hitting on me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Get together with your girl and guy friends. He'd find it harder to join you when you're in a different social circle from him, and you can make use of your social circle to exert peer pressure on him to scram and get lost.

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    • Lol but I'm an instrumental major, so im always in a practice room, and then he always let's himself in and closes the door and then we're in a small room together and he comes a sits on the piano bench next to me and it's just gross and I hate it. I feel like I can't stand up for myself, but if I did he'd deny it

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    • I really don't have any friends at school. I just started university, and so he's basically the only person I know. My heart sinks every time I hear his student swipe to let himself into my practice room.. I feel extremely uncomfortable, and I wish he wouldn't touch me. I feel like it's really rude to touch someone!

    • I see... this is a tough situation. I think you really need to get out more and make friends, while meanwhile being extremely assertive and annoyed at his behaviour.

      And yes it is very rude to touch a girl without permission. You have to let your feelings be known. I personally wouldn't want to salvage any friendship with this kind of person. >:(

What Guys Said 1

  • You could try to provoke him to be creepy... while at the same time your boyfriend arrives and you ignore the guy while kissing your boyfriend and leaving together without saying a word.
    Than see what happens... hopefully he wakes up.

    Or as an alternative to that, just tell him exactly what he can afford to do while "just being friendly" and if he goes over the edge, tell him in the middle of the public, with a sufficiently loud voice, that he should stop sticking to you like a flie.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I usually get smart with them and put them in their place.

    1. "You can't be asking me out to dinner when I have a bf. I dont care whether it's "friendly "

    2. I dont believe in having friends. (Recognizable that you're lying and he'll get the idea)

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    • Great responses. Lol. I was thinking about telling him that my boyfriend just isn't comfortable with me being around other guys

    • It's annoying. It has happened to me before. Recently I told this guy I was taken and he says, "I just want to be friends." I lied and told him, "I don't believe in friends." He got smarter with me and ask whether my bf and I did not start as friend before a relatinship. He got me there.. lol. Have to come with a comeback for that one. He still got ignored lol...

      Also if he sits by you, you can instantly stand up and move away to another seat. The more recognizable th better. He will get the point

  • Wow, I want to help you but I don't really know what to say cause just like you said if you confront him, he would most likely deny it. Perhaps try avoiding him, like go to class late after him, that way you won't sit next to him because he would already be sitting somewhere else. When he stands close tell him to move away a little because you want your personal space, that way he'll have to move, maybe even lie and say your claustrophobic and don't like it when he's too close. Just avoid him, what I like to do when I see someone I want to avoid I get my phone and pretend I'm having a conversation lmao (sad I know but it really works cause if your on the phone with someone, no one will really approach you, and he won't know that it's fake and your really not talking to anyone). If everything else fails, then please go and talk to staff that can help you because you shouldn't have to keep getting harassed by this guy, so please let someone know. Hope that helps.

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  • You have the power to tell him to stop it.

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    • Yes, but the problem is that he would deny it and just be like, "don't flatter yourself, I'm just being friendly" and then continue to do it

    • You already assumed. Just tell him. Look him in the eye.

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