Why does rejection hurt so much?

I'm talking in the context of relationships. When a guy seems to like you a lot, texts and rings a lot. You have a few great dates, but then gradually cools things off, not getting in touch as much, until you hear from them no more, without any explanation. Id rather be told they didn't want to speak any more , than to feel rejected like that. Its an awful feeling inside. its also harder to get over. It hurts more than someone actually saying to your face they don't want to have contact anymore, at least you know where you satand and can move on


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes it does. And people do it as you described because they don't have the courage to tell you to your face. And that hurts even worse because they don't respect you enough as a person. It tells what sort of person they are. They would rather hurt you than feel uncomfortable. I am very sorry that this happened.

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    • Thank you, that is very kind of you! id rather he lied than not say anything, and cool it off slowly. Your comment has helped me feel a little better. thanks again!

    • hang in there. And try not to take it personal, even though it was very personal in that it hurt. But it is a reflection on him, not you.

    • thank you,

What Guys Said 5

  • I would say in this case it is because your feelings were worked up in hopes of more then they shattered. If it were a first time approach. And nothing happened after and it was a flat out rejection it might not have hurt as much.

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    • yes it could be, i keep crying about it. I feel ashamed for crying so much over it. I liked him a lot

  • its a pain I feel every day. its something you get use to. it sucks. I never kept count on the times I been rejected, but I turned 38 2 weeks ago. and I was rejected 3x so far. Sad and crazy but I wanted to see how many times a year I get rejected. so far Im off to a good start

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    • its an awful feeling, its hard not to feel hurt, it makes me want to get meet another guy again.

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    • okay, its hard when you care about someone and they aren't open and honest with you

    • trust me I know that. been there done that!

  • You wonder if it's something you did, or something wrong with you - something so wrong you don't even get the dignity of being told it's over.

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    • Thats what im feeling, i think i have done something wrong but i can't fathom what, i like him so much too. Thank you!

  • Because it leaves things unanswered. Just think of it as "people are in your life 'for a reason, a season, and the rest of your life' (relatives don't count)"

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    • tHANKS, THATS HELPED A LOT TOO.

      Thanks , you comment has helped a lot too!

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    • Sure thing. PM me if you want to "get into more detail" since you posted as anon.

    • okay thank you, that's kind of you.

  • Rejection hurts because your beautiful crush whom you've admired since you've met is turning you down.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It makes you question your worth. Your value. It forces you to think of yourself negatively, and makes you think that you aren't good enough. If only you were this way, or looked this way, or didn't talk like this, or dress this way, or that way. You go so deep in your head of what is wrong with you, and how you wish you could have been perfect for that one person.

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    • That's exactly how i'm feeling!! I feel so hurt, every time i get a text or my phone rings, i keep wishing it was him, but i have to stop thinking like this.

    • Oh love, it'll be okay. I know thats the last thing you wanna heat but listen i was in a 8 year relationship. He broke up with me. I tried to save it but nothing worked. I went to sleep crying, i woke up and cried, i had to walk out of work, class, and leave public places because i was the weird girl crying randomly. What kept me strong was thinking about the person i love the most, my 8 year old niece, i imagined someone breaking her heart and causing her all the pain i was feeling. I thought what would i tell her? What would i want her to do? How did i want her to handle it? I would want her to let all the tears out, wipe her eyes and keep walking. I'd want her to be able to do the things that needed to be done, instead of crying her eyes out night and day not being able to get outta bed. We have to love and respect ourselves.

    • Thank you, your comment was lovely and has helped!!

  • Rejection hurts because it makes you think that you're not enough for him. But your case is little bit different. You feel like he doesn't care about you. It hurts 2 but go on livin'.

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  • it's a blow to your ego.

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    • but how come telling me to my face doesn't as much as not letting me know?

    • it's easier to deal with when you have a reason. when you don't it just confuses you and makes you invent a million possible reason why it happened.

    • Yes i am thinking of all sorts of reasons , thanks again, your comment is appreciated very much!

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